Monday, August 29, 2011

Red Light

"Red Light" David Nail

"At a red light in the sunshine
On a Sunday
Some are comin' home
Some are leavin' town
While my world's crashin' down
On a Sunday
In the sunshine
At a red light"

I guess my life really is a country song. These lyrics describe my day, yesterday. Plain and simple. Again, this wasn't our month.

Yesterday afternoon, my period arrived. I knew before it even happened. I didn't really have any kind of reaction. I didn't cry (at that point). I cried literally, at a red light. In traffic. On a Sunday. In the sunshine, that finally decided to make an appearance after the crazy weekend weather. On Steve's shoulder. As he drove.

After leaving a few, big tear stains on his shirt, clutching his non driving arm for comfort, I quickly got a hold of myself.

But, then the night came. The tears that came last night weren't like ones I have cried in a long time. I was up all night, restless, so uncomfortable from the "lovely reminder" that it didn't happen for us again. Steve lay dead asleep next to me. Completely unaware that I was having my own little pity party. The tears were the gut twisting kind. The kind that leave you feeling like you just took 5 back to back ab classes.

And as much as I keep saying, I don't know why I'm getting so emotional, I think deep down I know. I know that as each month passes, I am getting closer to letting go. Letting go hurts. It hurts like hell. Part of me wishes I could say I am ready to turn the page and start the next chapter. Part of me knows I'm still healing. And I certainly know I need to be in a healthier place both physically and emotionally. This is what is so tough. When people say, "Oh, you need to relax" or "Stress isn't good for you!"...Yea, we all get that. But let's face it. Who the heck can relax with all this. I mean, I can in bits and pieces. I'm not always stressed. I'm not always a crazy lady. (Okay, yes, I totally am) Maybe this sounds super negative and ungrateful. I don't mean it to. But, it's like our little vacation a few weeks ago. It is almost as if it never occurred. I am beyond thankful for that break and that time to take it easy. I am so happy to have spent so much quality time with my husband. I'm happy our fertile stage fell during that time. That it was actually fun and not all "Drill Sgt. Maria and her combat boots n' whistles".

But a vacation isn't "the cure" for this kind of pain. It is a healthy escape from it. But we can't run away from our life. We can't expect everything to just fall into place because we breathed a little easier for a week and a half. And I knew this all along. I guess the whole "just relax and it will happen bit" makes me angry because it isn't that easy. And I so wish it was true and we could have been that couple that "it just happened once they relaxed" for. With the added complication of Steve's inversion, we don't have the odds on our side. Surely, relaxing doesn't change DNA.

I'm sad. I'm sad because I sometimes resist tears and pain in front of Steve because I don't want to make him feel guilty.  But I'm also sad because, as much as I don't wish the physical pain and certain emotional aspects of this on him...
I know he could never fully understand what I'm going through. And sometimes I wonder what he is thinking. He voices his thoughts, his cares and concerns and lets me cry until my eyes fall out.
Last night, I was upset. Upset that he could just sleep. Fall asleep in .2 seconds and be snoring in .3. I was upset because I didn't want to wake him up because he deserved a good night's sleep. And I was extremely envious that sleep comes so easy to him with all we have going on. Hey, I think it's great for him. Rather at least one of us be catching some z's. But, I can't lay there anymore and cry like that while he literally plays songs out of his nose with his insane snoring.

So, I got out of bed, walked down the hallway and went into one of the spare bedrooms. The one that is supposed to be a nursery. I brought my laptop. My headphones. A glass of juice and some excedrine. And I lost it. I felt so numb and shaky all at the same time. I prayed out loud. I talked to the cats (don't laugh) as they came following, like, "ohhh, let's see what we have in here"...
I begged for the adrenaline to stop taking over my body. Eventually, sometime early this morning, it did. The last time I remember seeing the clock was 5:08.

Unfortunately, I woke up at 9:30. But thankfully, I had absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to be today. So, as it is now nighttime, I am still in my pajamas. My hair is swept up in a scary mess on top of my head and my face, still has that sticky, dirty tear stained feeling. The day has got progressively better. I've done absolutely nothing but listen to music, look at old pictures, make a million trips to the bathroom - thanks to my lovely, very heavy visitor...and text and read blogs.

There are a trillion things I could start typing about. But for now, I just want to take some more time and sort things out and enjoy the house to myself. It serves as some peace. Steve is at a football draft. And to be honest, I'm glad. I mean, I'm not upset he's gone. I have learned over the past years what a night alone, with no noise and no one to talk or cry to, can do for the soul.

So, I think I'm going to turn on some music, make myself dinner and find some laughs whether on tv or online.

*Two posts in a row without any pictures!? What is happening here, people? No worries, I have plenty from last week and this past weekend for an upcoming post.

While looking through old pictures today, I came across many videos. One that made me "AWWWW and Omygoodness" 132 times and one that made me laugh so incredibly hard I could have peed myself. While deciding which one I should add to this post, to make up for my usual lack of photos, and to bring a little lightheartedness to this post...
I quickly came to a decision.

I highly doubt Steve would be too happy with me if I posted the first video. One of him in our living room, with nothing but boxer briefs on and a virtual "Wii hula hoop" around his waist. Let's just say, Steve CAN hula. He beats my score every darn time. And it is HILARIOUS!

So, we will go with a video from June 2009. Right after we moved in this house and Krimpet's kitties were born. One of those kitties was  Twinkie. Who was born, Senor Twinkie.

Just a little taste of my crazy cat lady-ness and SO MUCH FLUFFY, CHEER UP, CUTENESS!! 

Can you believe, in just a little over 2 years, that the tiny little mister in the video turned into...

"I'm not fat.  I'm big boned!"

A lot can happen in two years.

I can't thank you all enough for your thoughtful comments and emails after my last post.  I truly appreciate each and every one of them.  Thank you.

So, day two is almost coming to an end.  It was a tough two days.  And I pray the week gets better, if even slowly.  I pray that in time, we see that green light.  In whatever way it gets here...I hope it is making its way. Letting us know, if we need to, it is time to let go.

Monday night LOVE,

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Don't You Remember

"Don't You Remember" Adele

*Surely, Adele isn't a country singer. Just had to clarify that. Because, you know, I'm pretty sure Adele reads my blog, like Wouldn't want to upset her.

I'm gonna go for it. A post without any pictures. I need to. I need to just type. Looking back, August was very good to us. Not a lot to complain about. There was more time to relax. Time to breathe. Time to cherish moments a little longer than usual.

Browsing through my posts, I found the last post that really let out some heartache and grieving. It was almost a month ago. In THIS post. I mention how I needed to find time to grieve, if even a little. Well, I didn't do so much of that this month. I'm glad I didn't during our vacation. I didn't want to, dammit. But, the tears came swoopin' on in this week. Tuesday is when they really began. My day started early. With signing up to help my boss out, my day ended up being thirteen hours of cleaning and driving. Let me tell you, cleaning windows isn't for a grieving girl like me. Especially the 5,382 windows of an enormous mansion. It is BORING, monotonous and gets you thinking like you wouldn't believe. For the over four hours that I squeegeed, there were about 483 thoughts running through my mind. I was in the zone. I was hot with the sun glaring through the 10ft. + windows. I was bothered at the crazy lady (no, not me...the lady who lived in the house). She had a horrible habit of channel surfing every 2 seconds in the room next to me. Her television was switching from "Jerry Springer", a soap opera, "Telemundo" and "the house channel" know, the real estate ones with the easy listening music in the background. I could tell I was in a mood. I so wanted to take her remote and flush it down one of her 11 toilets. She was nice enough to ask me a few ?s. How I met my boss, if I was married and of course, if I had children? I kindly replied, "No, not yet, but hopefully soon!" and kept on squeegeeing. I actually smirked to myself after. She won my heart towards the end when she told me she was surfing the internet for a cat collar for her daughter's new cat. Okay, seriously, why am I spending more than a sentence on this woman. I know why, because I'm procrastinating.

Back to what I'm trying to say...

"When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any seams,
I had no idea of the state we were in"

Here I am, just a few days away from finding out if this time worked.  My period is due by Monday.  I wish I didn't think about it.  I wish that for once, I could just say, "Who cares?!"...
I wish that at times when I'm driving, listening to my music, it didn't consume me so much.  The questions that run through my mind.  The words that hit me hard.  I've been listening to this song far too much this week.  Pretty depressing, perhaps.  But comforting all at the same time.  Most people hear these type of lyrics and think about a lost love. 
I do, always.

I think about how it feels like forever since I've been pregnant.  I think about how tomorrow our "first baby" would be a year old.  I think about how instead, I have a very likely empty belly.  A belly filled with nothing but Taco Bell (had to say it). *totally, accidentally typed "taco belly" ha!!
I think about how the next 7 months could feel like forever and then some, if my belly is still empty.  It is always the week before finding out if we will see those two lines or not.  It is always this week that brings me pain and fear.  The others are so much more hopeful.  I know we will get through it.  I know it won't kill us.  But it is scary.  It is heart wrenching.  For both of us.

This week, Steve and I have done a little grieving together.  We've shared tears and fears all at once.  We've bickered about why this is happening the way it is.  We've apologized and agreed we aren't ready to end this chapter just yet. We've cried on each others shoulders.  We've held each other tight and restated promises we won't break in this whole whirlwind of a journey.  As much as it tears me to pieces to see Steve cry and in pain, it brings on such a pure and raw love.  It makes me fall in love with him even more and be thankful for his vulnerability.

I have made the decision there will be no testing this cycle.  I can honestly say it is getting easier.  Easier to not test or at least wait til closer to the time my period is due.  I actually have been telling myself when I get the urge, "Maria, you do NOT want to possibly ruin this perfectly good day for nothing!"

I miss being pregnant.  Even if it was only for weeks at a time.  8 weeks at most.  I miss the luxury of getting pregnant 5 times in 14 months.  To now be 7 months from our last loss and still, no baby.
I miss the little beans that were supposed to be keeping me up at night with their cries.  I wish I was up all night with them.  With them, instead of just dreaming of them.

"I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know"

There are times Steve and I get into a discussion of...
"Should we not be having sex every day during our fertile time?"
"Should we not have that glass of wine/cups of coffee/4 cans of diet coke on Friday?"
"Is this a sign for us to stop?"
"What are we doing wrong?"

So many questions.  And I know there is a reason for it all.  A reason FAR beyond caffeine or wine. And when we are clear minded, we come to realize we are beating ourselves up out of guilt that we shouldn't have.  It isn't our fault.  It isn't anyone's fault.
I told Steve the other day as much as I like the little break we've been on from seeing our doctor, the one thing I miss is him giving us such reassurance.  Even if he was "just saying that" (which I don't think he is at all) makes me feel better.  But I know, I don't want to jump right back into that just yet.  And at least I know that.  Because, I tell you, I don't know what to think lately, when it comes to a lot of things.

I know I dream often lately, of being pregnant.  Of holding our baby.  Of seeing their face for the first time.  (here come the tears)  I dream of the day when it is going to feel REAL.  That I'm really gonna be a mother.  That I'm gonna be able to be sitting here blogging with a baby sleeping soundly on me.   A time when Steve's alarm isn't going off every ten minutes (as it is at this very moment) because he is already up taking in a few extra minutes with his son or daughter, before heading off to work.

I love this life.  I love all the love surrounding me.  I love my job (minus window help).  I love my cats.  I love our little house.  I love our little town.  I love my stinky Honda. I love Taco Bell.  I love my husband.  Heck, I even love some things about this journey. (including all you lovely people)

Is it so wrong for Steve and I to admit to one another, that it ALL would taste just a little bit sweeter with the added love of a child? It isn't wrong.  This, I know would be sweet, sweet love...

a baby to share with the ones we love so dearly.
a baby to strap to my back while I squeegee ;)
a baby to greet Steve when he comes home from work.
a baby to make the kitties jealous
a baby to occupy one of our spare, currently lonely bedrooms.
a baby to take on walks in our cute little town.
a baby that I would never allow to experience the horrendous stanky stank that is my car and instead take on drives in Steve's much safer, less stinky SUV
a baby that would someday get to experience all the joys of Taco Bell.

a baby that we know, with all that we are, would bring nothing but the most pure and amazing joy to our lives and the ones we love.

That is what we know.  That is what we pray for.

"Baby, please remember me once more"

Tons of Almost Friday Lovin'

Monday, August 22, 2011

Don't Think I Don't Think About It

There are far too many songs I'm singing at the moment.
So many, that I'm having trouble choosing one for this post.
So for now, I will just type.

Until last Tuesday, I was a little lost in La La Land. Being on vacation really let us FUHGEDDABOUDIT.
It was a bonus to not think...(Wait, hold that thought...I got my song)

Darius Rucker "Don't Think I Don't"
For all you Hootie haters, sorry...I like the the country version of the Hoots, minus his Blowfish.

I have to say it was the first time in a long time, Steve and I really didn't feel the stress of it all in full force.
And the best part? There were ten days of it. Not just a few hours here and there or a day or two. I slept better than I have in so long. I felt more rested, more relaxed, more at ease.
But everyone knows what "back to reality" can feel like...
The post vacation blues. It's the day your horse n' carriage turn into a smelly (VERY smelly, according to my friend, Ed), dirty old Honda and your glass slippers break into a million pieces, cut up your feet and leave you beggin' for a pedicure.

A few days pass and you realize, the emotions that also took a mini vaca, will slowly or quickly creep back on in.
A few days pass and you might feel like you already need another vacation.

But a few days passed and I realize that reality is every single day I live. And though some days are surely greater than others, it is my life. And each day there are things, and more importantly people, who make it so beautiful.

It has been a little while since I've written a post that is deep and vulnerable. And trust me, they're coming. After all, I am at least a week into my two week wait and my hormones are raging.

Twinkie says...

But ya know what Mr. Twinkie...Too bad. I've got me some pictures.
And let's let Monday be simple. We've got the rest of the week to dig deeper.
I knew "back to reality" would go a lil' something like this...
Get back to cleaning on Tuesday.
Get a call from my boss for help.
Help.  Then help some more.
Somehow say yes to a window job booked for tomorrow afternoon. (Yippee)
Feel the pressures of "our journey" (sounds so much better than our situation, doesn't it?)

But when times are busy, it helps. Might make me crazier at times...but it helps.
Still, "don't think I don't think about it"...I do. I am.

I can't complain. I cleaned Tuesday and Wednesday and was already off on Thursday.
I know the food pictures are gettin' a little old.
Just one, I promise.
Thursday I brought breakfast over to Kim's house. Doesn't it look so healthy and low carb?!

It was raining like crazy all afternoon, which I was happy for. It kept me in the house, forced me to tidy up and get back into the groove of things.
Steve and I got an impromptu invite to have dinner at Kim and Adam's. Sorry, no pics. I know...sad, huh!?
The food was delicious.  But, my favorite was reading their son, Noah, his bedtime story.
Well, kinda reading...if you count two sentences. :)

Here's me (and apparently my best impression of the mask from "Scary Movie") and cutiepie Noah. He just gave me a super neato "Cars" bandaid for my fake boo boo and was all ready for me to read him his "Thomas the Tank Engine" book.

Reading went a little something like this. (I will improvise.  you know I don't remember the exact sentences)

I get my reading voice ready. Noah is intently waiting. Kim is sitting on the floor in front of us. And I begin.

Me - "Thomas the Tank Engine...
Thomas and his tank engine went to visit the island of Sodor" *me sounding it out* So - door? so - dor? (looking at Kim for help)
Sodor (hahaha, you know I forget which it is still)

*Noah looking at me like, just read, lady!!

Me - "Once Thomas and friends reached the island of Sodor, they ran into their buddy, Sir Toe-fum Hoat (yep, that's how I pronounced it.)

You all know Sir Toe-fum Hoat, right?!

*Kim roars with uncontrollable laughter. I start hysterically laughing bc I realize that the first letter in "Hatt" is a "t" and not a "u"...(maybe I need to make an eye dr's appt.)
Though, come to think of it. "Haut" wouldn't sound like "Hoat" anyway. LOL
But uh, no...the real laughter is that I don't even know who Sir Topham Hatt is. And that I beyond mangled the poor man's name.
I see Topham. I hear TOE-FUM.  (am I the only one? yea, I'm pretty sure I am) Through Kim's squeals she manages to tell me, "It's Topham Hatt...You know, like Top em' hat."

Kim and I - laughing so hard we feel like we did 1,472 sit ups.

Noah - gets up from bed. walks to Kim with book in hand. "Mommy, you read this to me"

More uncontrollable laughter.
End of story.

Friday, I ended up getting that "no more glass slipper" pedicure. After all, it was in celebration of Kelly's birthday.

Don't  be bustin' on our feet, now.  I know Kelly has a hiding pinky toe.  And mine, well they are just chubby, wide, Frankenchubs...but I must say, our colors compliment each other very well.  And the rainy windshield backdrop just enhances the beauty that is our feet.

I suggested we take a trip to Amish Country.  Nothin' says Happy Birthday like a lil' Pennsylvania Dutch home cookin' all for the low low price of, all you can eat for $12.
So we headed off.

We only had a few run ins on our way. One with a horse n' buggy gone wild.  And one with a crazy man in knee socks running towards Kelly's car like a giant rabid beaver.

We ate. A very sad amount for what we were braggin' about eating before we got there. We felt like they pumped tranquilizers into our food. Food Coma alert!! We got full way too easily.  But once our eyes hit this (okay, so 2 food pics)...

Our tummies made some room. I get so giddy in the dessert section of Shady Maple. Yep, that's what this lil' slice of heaven is called. Look it up! Shady Maple Smorgasboard in PA.
I carelessly dressed up my ice cream. Imitation Reeses Pieces dancing all over the counter and floor like jumping beans. Kelly and I laughing our butts back to our seats.

After, I needed to show Kelly the amazing gift shop of SMS. It is HUGE. Full of anything and everything. And always fun to browse and try some fun things on.
How perfect is this "Crazy Cat Lady" tee on me?! I almost bought it.

And, doesn't Kelly look darling in her hat?!

Me and Kelly

We even stopped at Walmart on our way back. We figured we would start gathering enough pictures for "The People of Walmart-Lancaster Edition"...but seriously, there were none worth taking. People watchin' wasn't what we had hoped for. Bummer dude.

We ended our day with an hour and a half chat, stuck in Kelly's car, in my driveway because of the torrential downpour and lightening storm. Such a fun day, as always. We never know what we are going to get into! :)
Check Kelly out @ Stay At Home Trader.

We had our friends, Leslie and Jamie visiting til Sunday afternoon. Saturday, we hung out all day. Sat outside on the deck and took in the nice weather. We almost got attacked by a swarm of angry wasps after we met a preying mantis. It was quite an eventful afternoon. Steve, Jamie and Leslie share an "appreciation" as Steve would call it, for good beer. And, a LOVE for Pearl Jam. There was beer. There was Pearl Jam. There is always good conversation. I love when they tell stories of meeting Steve at school and how "different" he was but yet, still so much the same.

We went to a lil' yummy spot for dinner Steve has always wanted to take them there.  And it just so happened, we were lucky enough to go on a night my brother was playing. We got front row seats. ;)
My brother, Nicholas

Jamie and Leslie

Me and Steve

Yesterday's weather was horrendous. The kind that makes you just want to stay put in the house all day and lazy it up on the couch. After some breakfast, a movie... *ha, if you're reading Leslie, Steve watched it 4 more times today ;)
and saying goodbye to our guests, I had some offices to clean. Blech. I drove with my flashers on the whole way. Basically swam my car to cleaning and felt the rain start to bring on some emotions. It didn't help that I listened to Adele during all my drives back n forth.

Reality truly is every single day. Whether it be a day alone or a day with loved ones. A sun shiny day or a dark and stormy one. An Adele song or a country song. They are And I'm doing my best to live it up...and live through the good, bad, happy n' sad.

There have been tears this past week (hence, "don't think I don't think about it"). There have been moments of pure happiness this past week. I feel some deeper, more emotional posts coming later this week.

I'd add another picture, but Twinkie's getting a little angry over here.
Lucky for Twinkie and all you lovely people, I'm done posting pictures and almost done typing!! :)

Ok, one last paragraph. A few weeks ago, the Mr. surprised me. He told me he nominated me for the "CBS Philly's Most Valuable Blogger Awards".
I was flattered and thought it was sweet but had no idea what it was. I'm not big on competition, so I was a little uneasy. When I found out I made the list, I was happily surprised. So basically, what I'm tryin' to say is...give this LINK a little click click a' rooni. Press "VOTE" :) You can vote once a day. No pressure. I told my friends if they don't vote for me, they can expect a swarm of angry minions at their door. So, at least I can count on a few votes.

Ok, I think I've taken enough of your Monday morning away already.
Thank you everyone, for your well wishes and sweet n' funny comments on my last few posts. They always make me smile!

Wishing everyone a sunshiny Monday!!
Hope your weekend was wonderful!
Lots of LOVE,

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Wordless Wednesday...Well, Kinda

So, after checking out my dashboard and seeing a million and one "Wordless Wednesday" posts, I figured I might as well give it a whirl. After all, I love love love pictures and I have quite a few from the end of our lil' vacation.

Now, bear with me and my big mouth. I find it hard not to type. Let's just say hopefully there will be more pictures than words and I won't totally ruin the whole meaning behind "Wordless Wednesday"...

Saturday night, we stayed in Philadelphia @ a cute little Bed n Breakfast. Our friends had given us a gift certificate at our wedding and we finally put it to good use! (Thank you, Leslie and Jamie!! <3)

We were pleasantly surprised at how big the room was. And how PINK the room was. Steve went right to relaxing. A little pink paint doesn't bother the Steve-arino. That's him lounging. I took the picture from the loft.

Can you find me? :P

The room had so much character!

We even had our own little kitchen.

The ceilings were awesome!

*Jessica, there's the picture I was telling you about!! who's that lady??! LOL

The Mr and I outside the B and B

It was rainy Rainy RAINY!! Once the rain let up, we decided to take a walk to a nearby tavern and grab a couple of burgers. It was dark, dank and crowded. There were colored lights on the wall. The fries were to die for and they even had a chalkboard in the bathroom!

On our way home I wanted to take a picture of our shadows.
Um, yea...Maybe turning off the flash would help. *Steve shakes head and laughs out loud at me*
hmmmm hahaha

that's better :)

Nothin' says romance like a little "Mr. T" on the television. Yep. Mr. T. everyone!

We woke up Sunday to even heavier rain. I actually loved it. It was peaceful. We sat in bed, watched tv and drank coffee.

I gave my Frankenfeet a pedicure.

One last picture.
We packed our things and headed to our next destination.

in a full on STORM!!

Atlantic City. It is one of our guilty pleasures. I can't count how many times we've gone in the 6 years we've been together. And I never can decide which is my favorite part about this lil' city...
The lights and sounds of the busy casinos...
The tacky old ladies wearing bedazzled EVERYTHING...
The fact that there's something to do at every hour...pefect for a nightowl like me...
The fact that I can dress like my 3 idols - "The Nanny"/Peg Bundy/Dolly Parton and totally blend in. (yea, this is definitely one of my top favorites)
And that me and the Mr always have such a fun, carefree time.

talk about bout a cup of Starbucks coffee with a side of Hooter's fried pickles. What a wonderful start to our AC getaway :)

We ventured onto the beach right before another storm swept through. A sweet family asked if we could take their picture. I always love picture happy people and love that they return the favor!

Jersey Shore lovin'

We checked into our sweet lil' room. We napped. We watched 4 episodes of "Extreme Couponing"...Hey, don't bust on us...we are now hooked!! We want to be those people!
And then my favorite part...
 Gettin' all dolled up like Dolly (just me, not Steve) and heading to the casinos for penny slots.

Photoshoot pic #57


They had a "The Hangover" slot machine lol

Mr trying his luck

I always love the last day in AC. We have a ritual. We wake up and lounge around before we pack. Get ready and head to our favorite spot for brunch/lunch.
We know our order before we get there. Yum!

Yes, I took a picture of my foot in a store. Not just any favorite store in the whole world, Michal Negrin. It makes my heart pitter patter and eyes sparkle almost as much as their gorgeous jewelry.

The weather was beautiful and being that the Atlantic City shore isn't the ummm, prettiest one...we took a drive to Brigantine.

those are ALL lil' birdies!

This has to be my favorite. Poor Steve. Hahahaha He even said, "I think this one is gonna be a bad one" because it was so bright and sunny out.  We could barely keep our eyes open.
He looks so angry and confused. HAHAHA
Confused Mr

Much better! :) the end to a glorious 10 days together.

It was a wonderful, long, but not long enough staycation vacation.
We relaxed. We ate. We laughed. We let loose. We LOVED!!

All I can say is...

You know, on second thought,
I will let "Mini Me Maria" from 25 years ago do the talkin'

Happy Hump Day Everyone!!!
Hope your week is breezin' on by! :)
I'm totally post vacation blues n' it a tad...ya know, back to reality and all that jazz...but I will snap on out of it.
happy to do a "wordless" post because I know I have way too many words to come in my upcoming ones!

Tons of Love <3<3<3,

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