Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Rest and Results...

*I don't know what I just did, but sorry for the re-post...I accidentally pressed save draft and it "unpublished" this post...thank you all so much for your positive thoughts! :)

I can't believe I'm going to go to bed tonight at a somewhat early hour (for me). It's only 1:38am and usually on a day like today, I'd be up all night.
Today has proven alot to me...and I've run a million different thoughts through my head and heart...
and the fact that I actually feel relaxed enough to go to sleep...
isn't such a bad thing, so I'm going to take advantage and get some much needed zzz's.
My next few days are free. I know it will do me some good to get my rest now and take tomorrow and the next few days to really do some deep diggin'...(in other words, some deep bloggin'...for me, the best form of therapy lately...the way that really helps me make sense of it all)

Yesterday, which is still my "today" was 14dpo...
So, I woke up...I tested and I'm NOT PREGNANT...

It was the first time ever...I didn't cry as soon as I saw the result...EVER...
I cried every time I got a positive and every time I've got a negative for the past 20 months...
but not today...
and I think that's a good sign...

My period hasn't showed up yet but itsa comin'
I feel it...
But I'm focusing on the emotional feelings rather than the physical...

Thank you all so very much for your beautiful and kind comments on my last post...They made me smile, they made me tear up, they brought me such comfort. I truly appreciate all of them.

I'll be back later tonight...
ready as I'll ever be to spill my guts and heart out...
about all the reasons why
I found it hard to "say what I need to say"...

Thank you all again...
Happy Wednesday Thursday...
ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

<3,
Maria

10 comments:

Adi said...

I'm waiting for AF too. Maybe we'll synch up ;)

Krystyn said...

Thinking of you today. Keep the faith Maria! Sending positive thoughts your way...

Diana said...

you are becoming such a strong woman each day that passes... So proud of you. :)

Kerstin@TheRealHousewivesofIdaho.blogspot.com said...

I'm sorry. I'm kind of thinking I'll be having a visit from AF in a few days too. :(

Rachel said...

I am so sorry Maria I was so praying this would be your month. But I am right there with you I am thinking this month I will get the same result as you. I feel like I have PMS and I don't feel pregnant at all. Heres to praying next month is our month!

Mrs. E said...

Lots of love to you, Maria. Your strength never ceases to amaze and inspire. You and Steve are in my thoughts <3

Ericka said...

Maria, thank you for your kind words on my blog. Of course, going through infertility in any way is painful and an emotional roller coaster, so my post the other day was all whiny and complainy, but I am better today. We'll see if it changes tomorrow. I hope AF passes quickly and painlessly and you and your husband are able to choose a donor that will bring you both to holding your new baby. I agree...DNA or not, he is the Daddy. Lots of love and prayers for peace in your journey. I will be following. :)

{{{Kelly}}} XtOphY Design Studio said...

Seeing all of this support on your blog makes my heart feel so big! I'm sad to read this, and I know you are so strong and are just one day closer to having your own family. I love ya so much!!!

Maria said...

thank you ladies!!
i hope and pray everyone who is waiting on af, has a very very long wait...let's say 9+ months...
and if you have to join me, I'm on lil' cycle day #2
happy friday and happy weekend to everyone
so much love <3,
maria

Maria said...

Ugh! I was hoping that one Maria would have made it to the winner's circle. :(

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