Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Take Me Away

"Take Me Away" - Tim McGraw

Is it really the last day of May already?!
I'm so off schedule, but what else is new...
This weekend was so jam packed with a little of this and a little of that, that I fell asleep at 8 last night!! Yes, 8!! What is happening to me? lol. I'm pretty proud of myself, even though it is, 4 in the morning...I got 8 hours of sleep, regardless. Yesterday, ended my gig of filling in for my boss. He called me over the weekend for a little more help, and I thought, what the hell, might as well. The past two weeks, I cleaned more than double the amount of offices I normally would over the course of a week. Hence, me going to bed at 8. Now, I need a massage and a vacation! :)

I thought I'd start the post off with the fun, light-hearted stuff and get to the deep stuff, after.

I organized my time accordingly and we managed to pack some play into each day. Friday night we went to dinner with our friends, Kim and Adam. They live a few houses away. They went to my high school and where Kim and I were friendly when we were younger, we are so happy we all have "rekindled" and have become great friends. Adam and Steve are "two peas in a pod" as Kim says. Kim and I just click and we have so much in common. We laugh so loud when we're together and we all share a guilty, secret love for taco bell...(sorry guys, the secret's out) ;)
We went out for seafood...lots and lots of it!! I wish I would have taken pictures of all the food consumed that night! The waiter needed to extend both sides of our table!! LOL, I'm serious!!

Steve and I <3

Kim and Adam <3

The 4 of us after our feast!

And of course, we had to take more pictures outside, lol
Me and Mr <3

Kim and Adam <3

Kim and I, strikin' a pose! <3

so silly!!

Monday, we went to a ticket run for our local country music station's upcoming anniversary concert. I know you all are jealous ;) The concert is free!! And they get the best acts. The catch...you need to win the tickets. So Steve, my mom and I went this morning in the blazing sun, got our raffle tickets and waited to hear our numbers called. Luckily, within ten minutes, my mom's was called and they gave out 2 tickets at a time. Steve and mine weren't :( BOOO HOOO! We are on a quest for one more ticket! I'm beating myself up for waiting till the last minute to get to one of their runs, but am confident we'll get another one, even if it means hopping to all the other runs and to good ole' Hooters, 45 minutes away. Hey, that's the location of one of their next ticket runs! :)
Lucky Mama! <3

Me and Mom

We all had lunch together, Mom came with me to feed the stray cats, ha! No cleaning today, just driving 25 minutes to feed office kitties. My boss paid me to, but I'm not gonna lie, If he didn't, I'd do it anyway. (anything for flufflies)! We made a few pit stops at the stores that were open and when I came home, I was pooped!

And a few more pics of the weekend...
Nicholas and hilarious faced, Gibson

ok, this is totally random and just funny
while cleaning one of the office bathrooms, I found an empty miller lt. can in the "sanitary drop off box" LOL...someone got their Memorial Day groove on a bit early! weird!

My brother and Steve, kinda matching...before their bro date :)

Sunday night, Steve and I decided we needed a date night. Time to slow down and just enjoy each other's company. We went to one of our favorite spots and sat in the lounge. Later, I went to the bathroom and there I am sitting on the potty and the song, "Breathe" from my last post is playing. I thought it was kinda funny and odd. When I returned to the table I told Steve, and he said, "You know, I was up this morning at 6, writing?"...I had no idea. He told me he woke up and just had this feeling that came over him, that he needed to write it all out. He's told me since last month, that someday he hoped he could get the courage to write a guest post(s) on my blog. I started to get teary eyed as Steve started pouring out all his emotions, that many a times, I know he keeps bottled up inside. He's the type to often, put up his guard, be strong for the both of us, say he is fine, when I know he's so far from it. It's gotta be perfect timing, for him to want to full on, talk about "our situation"...
I knew from the beginning of us sitting down, something seemed different. Good different. We aren't shy about being affectionate in public (NO, we don't make out at the dinner table) but he was being extra sweet, almost nervous. I said to him, "what did you do...what do you want?" lol
And he just poured his heart out. We have had our share of talks, revelations, and nights of tears...but this was different. He told me that he wrote pages and pages, that it felt so good to write...that it brought alot of feelings to the surface and something just clicked. He told me, he wants me to read it when he's completely done and then, post to my blog soon.

"My body burns like there's a desert deep in me
A thirsty soul so unsatisfied
But there you are like a river to the sea
The one chance I have to change my life"

Isn't it funny, how writing all your hopes, desires, fears, and insecurities, can just solidify things for you. How it makes sense of everything, once you put it all down.

Steve knew when I started this blog that I would be me...that I would be very open, vulnerable and honest. I never would have put it out for anyone to read, had he not agreed...out of respect. He told me from the night I wanted to start it, I had his blessing. But there were always a few issues, I knew in my heart, I couldn't and wouldn't write about yet, because even though he said, I could...I knew it wouldn't feel right and wouldn't help me in any way...until a night like Sunday. There we are sitting at a little cocktail table, jazz music playing, tons of people around, but it felt like it was just us. All those extra little pieces that can feel so big at times can flow now...Issues that even someone as open as me, find hard to talk about and work through. And I'm a bit scared, but so excited at the same time, to let them all out soon, in upcoming posts. To move those feelings to a place of peace...a place of closure. Steve, feeling the same way, gave me his blessing and knows how good it is for me...and more importantly, the both of us.

Our date

"Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped inside myself
Spinning wheels up and down, round and round
Going nowhere just like everybody else
With no touch, no sight, no sound" (Tim McGraw)

I haven't read his blog yet but when he is ready, I'm going to and soon, will post. He's a talker and thinker like me, so I imagine it's long but I can betknow it will be raw and beautiful at the same time. And I can surely bet it won't be country songs he's choosin' :)

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend and got to take in some sun and fun!! I'm praying for lots of answers and BFP's, for many of you in the upcoming week(s)!
*I'm 6dpo and hoping to get to at least another 6 days till testing.

Happy Tuesdaylast day of the month!! Make it a good one!

Looking forward to future posts, digging deep, feelings brought to life and feelings put at peace.
"Move me farther than I've ever been before
Show me that there's something more"



Kelsey Harrington said...

I'm back to my usual stalker time - so glad you made another post. I've been thinking of you!

I am so glad that Steve shares his thoughts and feelings with you.. we are still working on that one here. I really don't know a bigger challenge for a married couple than the loss of a child. It's so incredibly hard, and yet the positives that come out of it are a closer relationship with your spouse.

I hope you can be patient in testing, I sure haven't been ;)

{{{Kelly}}} XtOphY Design Studio said...

this is BEAUTIFUL!!! i'm so glad steve is opening up :) can't wait to see his guest post. and I LOVE YOUR NEIGHBORS!!! tell the mr that i am sorry if i snubbed him in our neighborhood. LOL! in the mornings, i can be in a rush and a real biznotch. i love ya, and i am praying that this time is the "sticky one". i love ya!!!!

Maria said...

kelsey...i feel ya sister...i'm growing a little more impatient, now that i'm one wk past ovulation. it really does test your marriage to its limits...but at the end of the day, somehow it really does bring you both to a place of such understanding. i'm hoping to hear from you - of 2 pink lines staring back at you! <3

kelly, hahaha, i think you owe him a sandwich and some cold tea ;) LOL I love you and can't wait to catch up soon! <3

MrsV said...

First of all - for some reason I can no longer comment on your blog unless I am on my desktop computer (which I hardly am) and this makes me sad :( Ive been trying to comment not for a while and couldnt figure it out.. did you make any changes to your comments section recently??

Thank you for the birthday wishes :) It looks like you guys had a good weekend as well. Hopefully you guys get yourselves another ticket! :)

MrsV said...

Testing 1 2 3, ahem testing, testing ;)

I think this is a success lol

Really weird how it wasn't working! And it was only for your blog everyone else's blogs would let me comment!

Hope you had a good day today :)


Maria said...

LOL,YAY!! so glad it worked, V!! all i did was switch the comment form to "pop-up"!
happy it's working for u!
have a great night and i will ttys! <3

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