Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mama's Song




"Mama's Song" - Carrie Underwood



I'm sitting downstairs flipping through channels and just discovered they have a Mother's Day special marathon of "The Nanny" on Nick at Nite...JACKPOT!! Yes, it's true...I'm obsessed with this show!! Don't pretend you don't watch it too!  I mean, how could you not bust out laughing at the scenarios she gets herself into, OOO and Aahhhh over her amazing sequined/feathered/neon wardrobe, and wish you had the gig of taking care of 3 loving children and their handsome father in a gorgeous mansion in the city!?! ;)

I can just about bet if my mom is awake, she is watching it right now, in bed with a box of cereal, laughing out loud - her signature hyena witch cackle (one that I inherited)! She is coming over today and we are celebrating over food and games!

A lot of people have asked me if this day is tough for me. Last year, I would have said, YES...all the way. Mother's Day last year, I was at the end of my 2nd miscarriage, miscarrying twins and feeling scared, sad and just down. This year, even after another 3 misses since...I can honestly say it isn't hard for me, really. Of course, I so badly wish I was a mother, or that I was at least good n' pregnant...but I am in a better place in my mind and heart than I was last year. Somehow, things are more clear to me. I don't really know how to explain why it's easier.  But maybe it's sweet little things a friend says that make me feel better...friends who tell me to think of it as a hallmark holiday and that they truly believe I'm going to get there soon.  Or that I deserve to celebrate and am a mother in their eyes. And I think know it has something to do with the fact that I feel blessed to be able to have my mother in my life. She's more than a mother to me. She's a best friend. In the past 28 years, we have been through it all...and I know I wouldn't be the person I am without her...hyena witch cackle and all :)

I am grateful to have her through it all. I know she wishes she could fix "it." I am so thankful she never tries to barge in on what route we should or shouldn't take when it comes to our situation. She allows Steve and I to live our life and doesn't meddle in on it.  And that means a lot to us.


I am open, I am honest, I am crazy at times, I am stubborn, I am laughing, I am crying, I am loving, I am thankful, I am hopeful, I am faithful...

I am my mother's daughter.


There are so many things I have my Mom to thank for...

Thank you, Mom...for giving me my sense of humor, teaching me that laughter really is the best medicine, and allowing me to see all the fun life has to offer...
*Me and Mom about 8 years ago


Thank you, Mom...for teaching me the basics, like potty training! No...I'm serious...and you and my friends know what I'm talking about ;)


Thank you, Mom...for giving me an ever so adorable and entertaining little brother, who is so good to me.


Thank you, Mom...for starting me off early...with the coolest fashions...I would totally rock this outfit today, if I had it! :)


Thank You, Mom...for choosing to give me the biggest bedroom in the house when I was little...and making my room everything a little girl could dream of.


Thank You, Mom...for not kicking me out of the house when I was older, for a room like this...that you cleaned up time after time...to find exactly like this picture, soon after. :)


Thank You, Mom...for letting Nicholas blow out my birthday candles?!?! HAHA I love my expression!


Thank You, Mom...for teaching me how wonderful a bath is for the soul. Man, I wish I still had that tub toy!


Thank You, Mom...for telling me flat out...blond was NOT my color!!


Thank You, Mom...for helping me through a dark time in my life, where I got too thin because I thought the number on the scale defined me. Thank you for taking me out for pancakes topped with sticks of butter and chocolate bars, to make me realize food is just too good and I was perfect the way I was.


Thank you, Mom...for making every occasion a fun and fancy one :)


Thank You, Mom...for helping make me laugh, so I would stop crying before walking down the aisle....

Thank You, Mom...for making me cry happy tears with the words you read at the end of the aisle



But most of all Mom...

Thank you for giving me life.

 
Happy Mother's Day! I love you so much
"You've given me everything that I will need, to make it through this crazy thing called life"...


*To all of the Mamas in my life...
the Mamas I'm getting to know...
the Mamas to be...
the Mamas who've lost...
the Mamas who are dreaming, hoping and praying of holding their baby in their arms next year on this day...

Happy Mother's Day!  You all deserve a day dedicated to you.

With Faith and Love,
Maria <3


*ps-still no pregnancy tests in the house...I'm not chancing a negative result, whether accurate or not, putting a damper on this day <3
will be updating on how I'm feeling soon :)

4 comments:

{{{Kelly}}} @ XtOphY Design Studio said...

Thank you for posting this beautiful post. Of course, I am crying and can barely type on my "mini computer". You are in my heart today and every day. I don't know anyone with a bigger heart than you <3

KellBellz said...

What a great post. Sitting here with tears in my eyes...

Jessica said...

Love :)

Anonymous said...

What a lucky Momma to have a beautiful, strong and fearless daughter. <3

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