"Only You Can Love Me This Way" Keith Urban
"Well, I know there's a reason
And I know there's a rhyme
We were meant to be together
And that's why
We can roll with the punches
We can stroll hand in hand
And when I say it's forever
It's been 6 years...
6 years since I fell in love with this guy
We went on a walk in the park last night. The same park Steve totally pulled the, "will you be my girlfriend" bit 6 years ago. Yes, he actually said that! :) Him 28. Me 22 at the time. Funny the way we met...match.com, baby! Yep! I was coming out of a long relationship and didn't even know what it was to date anymore. I wasn't the type to go sit in a bar or go out drinking (at the time, lol). Well, match.com helped with that. Lets just say I went on A LOT of dates! It was fun, it was healthy for me...it sure in heck taught me what I did and didn't want in the opposite sex. And, though it kinda freaked me out when my very first date was supposed to be with a 6 ft. tall, 30 yr old and instead turned out to be, a very late for dinner, 5ft 4', 39 yr old who said he wanted to take me to 6 flags on our next date! RUN, MARIA...RUNNNNN! I ate my spaghetti fast as anything and ran for it! Luckily, that didn't stop me. After lots more dates, a few teeny tiny relationships...I met Steve...the last guy I ever went on a date with. He was different. He didn't pretend to be someone he's not. We could talk and talk and talk. I'd go over his apartment after work and we'd be up till 10 in the morning talking. Ha, I know what you're thinking...MMM hmmm sureeee talking?!...but seriously, we opened up to each other so quickly, confided in each other our deepest thoughts, hopes and dreams. We fell in love fast.
Hi hun! ;)
It wasn't long before I knew he was the one. We dated for a few years...and I was hoping and praying for a "will you marry me?"...
It was February of 2008 and I sensed it was coming. In fact, on Valentine's Day I got all snazzy, got my nails done, practiced saying yes. And when Steve took me out to dinner...NADA. I pretended I was okay, but I was thinking, "WHERE'S THE RING MR"....
And then the very next day on February 15th...
He popped the question in Atlantic City, in our hotel. So out of the blue. We were just sitting there talking *yes, talking...again, I promise ;)
and he got down on one knee, shaking like I will never forget...tears in his eyes and asked me. I literally crawled around the floor saying, "NO" for a while but not no to him. No, like I can't believe this is happening. and then I fell over LOL
I look back at these moments and they seem so far away and yet so close at the same time. I look back at all the lessons we learned when we were younger. And I look at the ones we've been learning these past two years.
And where the first 3 years, some would assume were the exciting, easy and most in love times...times where you're "being kids"... frivolous with money, going out all the time and don't have as many responsibilities...
I'd take these past 3 years over them, any day.
"I could have turned a different corner
I could have gone another place
Then I'd of never had this feeling
That I feel today"
Those first 3 years, I'd often stop and think to myself, "I never thought it could be like this"...how I could possibly be in love any more than I was...
And now, I am.
After, I even offered to make out in the car for an hour, just like 6 yrs ago, but he declined. Hmmm, it's okay Steve.
This red velvet cheesecake did the trick ;)
When Steve proposed, he told me he knew I was the one when he realized how much of a nurturer I was. And that he'd never want another woman to be the mother of his child.
Of course, as I type out the past few sentences, I get choked up. Because I remember that moment and I remember thinking that was the sweetest and kindest thing he could have said.
It's always been my biggest dream to become a mother and wife. That may sound old fashioned. It may sound cliche. It may even sound "little" to some. But it is the truth...
We danced to this song at our wedding in October 2009. It was one of our many songs. These lyrics had so much meaning 2 years ago. And now, they have a whole new meaning.
It's been a tough few days inside this head of mine...fighting the urge to test, fighting the voices inside my head telling me I'm probably not pregnant. I'm holding out until at least a few more days and telling myself it will be worth it. And I remind myself, no matter why, no matter how, no matter when...
Steve and I are going to get that dream of ours...of becoming parents.
"And you're always in my heart
Always on my mind
When it all becomes too much
You're never far behind"
After our walk we went mini golfing. In all 6 years, we've never gone together. We had so much fun. Steve won by 5 little points :) He was getting nervous towards the end when I was one uppin' him a few times in a row. lol
I know someday we will walk this park with our child and look back on it all...and whenever that time comes, all our walks before won't seem so far away.
These past few years, deep down...are my favorite.
Behind all the crazy chaos...
A greater kind of love has been given to Steve and I.
A kind that I know doesn't come easy...one that comes with growing pains and lessons you don't think you're ever going to have to learn.
One that develops after you find out things you never even think you're going to have to think about in life.
But you know what...I'm so very glad we're learning them...we're living them...
We're learning to love them more and more.
We're loving that greater love.
"And there's no one
That comes close to you
Could ever take your place
'Cause only you can love me this way"
Happy 4th of July!!
Wishing Everyone a safe and happy day!