Wednesday, July 13, 2011

If I Should Fall Behind

"If I Should Fall Behind" Faith Hill

for the past ten years, this has always been one of the first songs I plug into my mp3 player before setting out on a run.

I've laced my sneakers 3 times since Friday. 3 separate runs. 3 very different experiences.
I woke up Friday ready to start my day with positive energy. I met Jessica for a walk in the morning. We definitely gabbed as fast, if not faster than we walked and through the icky, sticky weather it was nice to start my day off with a dose of exercise and great company.

Me and Jessica

Afterwards, I met up with Kelly and her daughters for some shopping and our signature "old lady lunch"...

Chloe workin' her spoon

I got home, changed into my workout clothes and just as I headed to meet my Mom for a run, the loudest thunder and rain made its way into the day. So, we waited and decided once it was just drizzle we'd give it a go around my grandmother's neighborhood. I got my music ready, stretched for a minute and we were off. It's amazing to me how within minutes I instantly felt the stress was making its way out of my body with each step. The little droplets soon turned into a full on downpour. It was coming down for the majority of the run. It was so refreshing. My Mom led the way and when we reached just under 30 minutes of running, I headed back to my Nani's and she ran a few extra minutes. I just stood in her yard and thought, "I'm am so glad I'm running again"...I didn't know what I was missing.

Me and Mom before our run...we should have taken a picture afterwards...we were sewer rats!

We went to see my brother play later that night and I got a double dose of Jessica :)
I didn't even see this candid shot of us, that Steve snapped, until I got home.

Me and Jessica

And our men...
Ed and Steve

I woke up Saturday expecting to feel pretty sore. And I did. But it was that good kinda sore. Like when you feel your body waking up and coming alive. I took Saturday off and waited to see how I'd feel Sunday, because a lot of times when just starting to run after time off, it's the 2nd day after that hurts the most. But it didn't. So, I took a chance and asked Steve if he'd like to join me for a run on a nearby trail. Surprisingly, he said yes.  Steve used to be a runner in high school but hasn't run in many, many years. Steve also has a very competitive streak. So, I often hesitate to ask (because lets face it, I'm gonna win and he's gonna get pissy...kidding, kidding)
As we set off, I told him if he or I got ahead, we'd keep our eye out for each other. The first 5 minutes we were right next to each other, our steps in sync and even though my husband has rarely been my workout buddy, it was nice to be beside him doing something I love. Eventually, he told me he was going to walk and that I should keep going.

So, I switched up my playlist, and there I am running ahead of Steve, listening to Rhianna's "Man Down", like "O yea, I'm Rhianna, I'm so tough and cute, you like my booty from back there, Steve?!...look at me, I'm running on the island sand, no one can stop me" and then my little fantasy came to a quick and gravel encrusted halt, when my shoe went and lunged off a big ole' rock...and catapulted me into a song more like, "Maria Down". I go flying sideways into the dusty, rocky trail. (I'm LOL picturing myself)
At this point, my hands are bleeding, my right elbow is gushing and my right a**cheek and thigh are throbbing. In a matter of seconds, I look up, deciding whether to laugh or cry and Steve is staring above me, blankly, like a deer in headlights. (I'm lol even more)...
And through cries, cackles, and snort laughs I say, "UMMMMM, are you going to help me up or say anything (actually ticked and embarrassed)?!"
Steve says, "babe, I just wanted to wait and see what your reaction was first before I make a move"...

And there it is...
Like I said, running reminds me so much of our "baby journey"...Steve a lot of times waits to see how I'm going to react. Am I going to cry? Am I going to burst into laughter? Am I gonna turn into the exorcist and start spinning my head full of messy hair around while spewing green goo? (99% of the time this is the reaction)

And that's when he decides which approach to take with me. I know so many men do this...they are deep down terrified of us women when we get crazy. Poor things, I really do feel for them.
I get up, we pour some water on my battle wounds... and Steve says, "we better get you back hunny"...
Oh, Mr. Steve, you would love that...being that we were only out for fifteen minutes so far...but No, nope, uh uhhh...not stubborn me.
We stayed out another 25 minutes and needless to say, there were no more falls.

My thigh has a black bruise almost the size of the palm of my hand. (I'd post a pic if I didn't have to display my tush)
My elbow is healing nicely...

"We said we'd walk together
Baby come what may
Back from the twilight
Should we lose our way
As we were walking
A hand should slip free
I'll wait for you
Should I fall behind wait for me"

Through all the bumps and falls on this road less traveled, there has never been more a time than now, that I feel Steve and I are standing on the exact same spot on this trying and continuing road.

He doesn't have to cry when I cry. I don't have to be angry when he's angry...but at the end of the day we are both growing more at peace with certain things. We are at a place where we can lean on each other equally.
I know it's a man's pride when it comes to a woman outrunning him or "beating" him in anything. But this game of trial and error for a family isn't about who wins. We both lose. We both win. When I'm upset, Steve's upset...but he doesn't have to cry into a bowl of ice cream just because I am. These are all things I've learned along the way. *Plus, we all know he'd much rather eat the last of the brownies instead of go for the ice cream ;)

In the past almost 2 years, until recent months, it a lot of times felt like either he was helping me along or I was helping him through. We fought each other's battles without fully realizing no matter what, it is OUR battle. And now that time, heartache, and love has shown and blessed us with so much...
We see that we can still fall apart, help each other along and not forget about how we each feel individually in trying times...all while working towards the same goal. Because when it's all said and done, the only way we're going to get there is if we pick ourselves back up after we fall.

"Swore we'd travel together
Darlin' side by side
We'd help each other
Stay in stride
Each lover steps on
So differently
So I'll wait for you
Should I fall behind wait for me"

Monday's run was a hot one. It was well into the 90's. My Mom is one tough cookie. She can run and run and run and she sure ran a lot more than I did that day. We set out for a mile and then stopped a bit...walked and ran some more. I eventually had to stop while I was huffin and puffin, desperately needing water. I even asked her how far she thought we were from the hotel. HA...I meant car.  Heat brain. So, with it being 7/11...we walked to 711 for thier annual free slurpie day.

They were sugar free and free tiny dinkers so we didn't feel like we totally undid our run :)

Me and Mom

We then got the bright idea to walk some more and get iced coffees.  When we returned home and my Mom checked her pedometer we were pleasantly surprised to see our 2 hours running, walking and sippin' got us to almost 7 and a half miles.

14,739 steps...We didn't want my Nani to feel left out so we picked her up a Cherry Captain America Coolata, lol

I'd have to say as much as the rainy, cool, first run on Friday was an amazing one...And as much as Sunday's was humorous and with my love....
Monday's ended up being my favorite. Maybe because I had a great motivator with me. Maybe because through the heat and toughness of it, came a rush of accomplishment at the end
And because when I first set off and didn't know how I was going to feel like going another mile, another 6 came into play and showed me if I worked through it, it'd pay off. <3

I can't say I've been feeling all around wonderful but my shoulders feel lighter...I feel more energetic.  I feel tougher, if even a tiny bit.  I am 8 days past ovulation and the "trying stage" is fast approaching.  I'm taking in the last few days before the inevitable crazies set in and hoping that they simmer down some this cycle.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Wednesday.  Here's to hoping these miles that we've all been running, "pay off" BIG TIME! :)

Muffin says...

"Everyone dreams of
A love lasting and true
You and I know what this world can do
So let's make ourselves be
That the other may see
And I'll wait for you
Should I fall behind wait for me"

Lots of Love,


Bernadette & Duane said...

Maria you have such a talent for writing. I always enjoy your posts (and the accompanying music.) Listening to the selection before my own run this morning. So glad you've rediscovered your inner runner again- it is, hands down, THE best stress reliever ever.

{{{Kelly}}} XtOphY Design Studio said...

Hahahahahahha! The crazy pic made me LOL!!! Hahahaha! I can't believe u fell. Well, I hope you are okay now. And I can't believe it's time to try again already. I'm thinking about you guys every day. What a great post. I love this blog!!

Mrs. E said...

LOL! I agree that the crazy picture is hilarious! I'm sorry you fell--that elbow looks rough!--but what a great way to illustrate this experience as a whole (and your reaction to it): You might fall, but you also get back up and keep going...And Steve stands by, waiting to see if he should rescue you, laugh with you, or eat the last brownie...hehe =) F totally does the wait-and-react thing. Are we all such crazy ladies?? Glad I'm not alone though! Love and hugs~~~ said...

I so need to get back into running! Good for you (minus the scrapes and bruises)! I hope you're having a great day!

PS-I got your BC friend request in my email but when I click on it, it doesn't show up. Can you resend it or something? I think there is some kind of glitch...

B- said...

Glad to hear that you are running again (and have to admit a little jealous!) Ttc makes it so difficult to keep up with exercising! Sorry about your fall though (sounds like something I'd do)- but I loved the way you related it to your ttc journey. Have a great Wednesday!

MrsV said...

Yay for happy posts :) I personally am not a runner, but secretly I think I want to be lol keep it up!
Ps you always have awesome pictures lol your crazy pic

Melissa said...

Wow, you've really been moving! But definitely major ouchies to the fall and scrape. I hope you're healing quickly! It sounds like something I would do, I am such a clutz! Andy and I just started a running program called Couch to 5k. We've done one out of the three runs for the week, we need to get our butt in gear! I hope today was a good day!

waitingforarainbow said...

Good for you! All that running. I have to say.. I am jealous!! The whole rhianna thing totally made me giggle. That's pretty hardcore that you kept running after your fall. But that's just your personality! Falls don't stop you. :o)

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