Happy May, friends.
I'll say it again...
Thank you. Your words on my last post/happy news touched me greatly.
Thank you. For every bit of your kindness and all of your sincere thoughts and beautiful prayers.
I don't doubt for a moment that they helped us to get to where we are right now.
I meant every word I
said cried in my video. <3
Before I give a little update, let me just say that my eyes are growing very heavy. I've been a sleeping machine - a sentence I'm grateful to type.
After finding out the news, and giddily calling and texting handfuls of loved ones, I drove to Steve's office to "surprise" him. He met me outside, and as I went to get out of my car, I could feel a huge smirk about to plaster itself across my face. We hugged. Steve grinned. I said "you know, don't you?"
and he hugged me tighter, kissed me, and replied, "You're pregnant, aren't you?!"
I handed him this box.
And we just smiled so big, staring at one another without saying a word.
It felt so good.
We have never felt more excited about news like this...and that right there proves so much.
That is this was/is so right.
This was the Tuesday I got my negative. I stomped and pouted my way on over to the coffee shop with Jessica. Those hours together erased so much of my disappointment.
And looking back, it's funny, because the last thing she said to me was, "What if you are pregnant?!"
Breakfast at Kim's on Wednesday lifted my spirits. As did her company and way of always making me laugh. She too, told me I should test again.
(Thank you to all who kept the faith.)
Handsome Noah and I played Lincoln Logs...I used to love them when I was a kid.
Soon after I found out I was pregnant, I made an appointment for bloodwork on Friday.
I wanted to savor Thursday for all that it was. It felt magical. It felt unreal at times.
And when I walked into the office the next morning, the nurse was smiling and so thrilled. She hugged me, took my blood, asked a bunch of questions, told me to snag a few prenatal vitamin samples from the bathroom, and then sent me on my way.
Waiting for that call back with the results - it's never easy.
But it wasn't too bad this time around...I was eager to answer as soon as my phone rang. I had a pretty good feeling.
And when I heard the tone of her voice, I knew it couldn't be bad news.
My numbers were in range.
I've only heard that once before out of my 6 pregnancies.
They never want to see your progesterone go below 10. And mine was right under 15. So, for safety, they put me on progesterone. I take one pill at 10 a.m. And one at 10 p.m. I call them my sleepy/dream pills. I won't even get into the insane and somewhat horrifying dreams I've had so far.
She told me as soon as our doctor saw my name with the word pregnant written next to it, he said "YES!! This is so good. I am so happy!" - my thoughts exactly.
Here it is, a week later. My second round of bloodwork is this morning.
I'm nervous, but hopeful.
Just like that pregnancy test has the power of changing everything in the blink of an eye, so does the call I will receive with my results. My hcg (pregnancy hormone) needs to have doubled appropriately in the past week. And only once has it done so.
But, I so very much need to remember and keep reminding myself that this time is different.
In a beautiful, new, and exciting way.
It is already evident to Steve and I how different this pregnancy has been from the past ones. I usually begin spotting a couple days after finding out I'm pregnant, and then go on to miscarry a couple weeks later.
I haven't had an ounce of spotting so far. And every time I go to the bathroom, I'm amazed I don't see blood.
My progesterone is usually 3, 4 or 5. It is so much higher this time. And my hcg is double to triple what it has been in the past.
I've had moments of pure fear come over me in the past seven days.
I've had moments of pure happiness and peace come over me in the past seven days.
I love truly feeling pregnant...the drowsiness, the waking up to go to the bathroom, my water balloon boobs - they make me happy.
I am certainly more confident this time than in the past.
Naturally, I'm guarded to an extent. The questions pop in and out of my head - Is this or that normal? Should I be feeling this way or that way?
I owe infinite thanks to the loves that have helped calm my nerves.
This I know - I am pregnant today.
And that is an amazing blessing.
Monday night, we celebrated Kelly's soon-to-be third little love.
And continued with desserts and gifts at our place.
This was Kelly and I about 15 years ago at her birthday party, being goofy and dreaming about being mamas someday.
And this is 15 years later recreating that memory.
How do you like my
1 month and 8 months :)
(Thank you for the sweet picture, Jessica!)
We had a little fun and set the timer on my camera for about 5 rounds of major photo clicking.
Water and decaf coffee makes us wild n' crazy.
aww, lil' mins snuck in the picture.
I thought about our photoshoot so many random times this week and it instantly brought a smile to my face.
I love these girls.
Vania and I went out for a spicy lunch and did a little celebrating for her birthday.
I'm pretty sure we opened and closed the place.
We ate it all.
Happy Birthday, Vania. <3
Time for bed.
Time for deep breaths, prayers, and
sweet wacky dreams.
<3 Happy Friday <3
Tons of love.
I've got lots more to write about in the coming week.