"Long Trip Alone" - Dierks Bentely
"It's a long trip alone
over sand and stones
that lie along the road
that we all must travel down" (Dierks Bentley-Long Trip Alone)
This post is going to be all over the place...I can already tell...kinda like my mind and I have been lately :)
There are times I love to be alone...the days I take the extra long way home to do some good thinking...the times I'd rather go on a walk with just myself and my music to clear my head. The times I spend running errands and shopping alone...heading up and down the aisles, sometimes, without a need for anything. Every so often...that is just what the day calls for.
Yesterday, I didn't need that...and today, I don't need that. Times spent with the ones I love, happen far more often, than times not...and I like it that way. I have my job to thank, for the gift of time.
My job, cleaning offices...is a blessing. That sounds insane, I know...especially, because if you knew me about 10-15 years ago, and you looked into my bedroom...you wouldn't be able to see a bed, or furniture...you'd see clothes, bags, junk, things I don't think you'd want me to mention...EVERYWHERE!!! I was a slob to say the least. I wish I could find this old picture my mom took of my friend, Jessica, and I. We had a sleepover one night and my mom came in my room and snapped a quick picture. It's like a page out of a "Where's Waldo" book...see if you can find Jessica and Maria in her bedroom...it was that bad. If you looked hard enough, you'd see our two, tiny heads...us laying, cracking up, with big smiles across our faces amongst the mountains of crap. My mom was a neat freak. I was not. If I went away, my mom would take days and clean it all up and when I'd come home she'd say, "now, keep it this way!"...yeah, that never happened...sorry, mom :).
I find it so funny that now...I actually love to clean. I admit, sometimes my house is the last thing I want to clean after I've been doing the same thing for hours at work...but even still, cleaning the house is so calming at times and when everything is where it should be...it brings peace to the house and to us. Cleaning offices is like therapy to me. It's the perfect job for someone like me. It feels more like a chore, than a job. It allows me to do what I need to do in my personal life. It allows me all the time I want and need to think in total peace...just me, my trusty cleaner, rags, vacuum and mop. I don't deal with any bs from my job. I don't deal with any people...and after many years in the restaurant business, I LOVE that. The biggest "problems" I have at cleaning, are a super tangled vacuum cord or a million trash cans and boxes to take out when it is down pouring rain (I need a picture of that image, sometime). My boss is the sweetest man. He knows our story, and has been so supportive and understanding. He's like a friend to me. The job is flexible and there's always extra to pick up. I can never be late for work. Dealing with everything in our personal life right now wouldn't go nearly as smoothly if it wasn't for this job. So, there is my little ditty on my job...one of my life's unexpected, little blessings.
So anyway...back to what I'm really trying to say here...what this song really means to me...
I'm so thankful to have the time to spend with everyone I love. With all the stuff that is uncontrollable in life, all the scary stuff, all the unknown...it's nice to have more times than not...to share the good, the bad and the ugly with the people in your life. Most days, it's those people who help make it easier...who bring such joy into your day...who give you peace of mind. I like my times alone...but I cherish my times w/friends and family. At the worst of all worst, I can always count on them...to not judge and to just be there...I cherish...my time.
"So maybe you could walk with me a while
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
You know we can't afford to let one moment pass us by
'Cause it's a short piece of time"
Yesterday, I spent the day with my friend, Kelly and her girls, Addison and Chloe. We have been friends since second grade...for 21 years. It's sad when you hear how friends sometimes grow apart when one or both have children. I remember telling Kelly last year in her birthday card...it's a crazy, good feeling...because if anything, we are even closer now. I love her so much. I love her daughters so very much. Kelly and I have shared tons in these 20+ years. We have been through it all together and I'm so happy to be here now...sharing the most important parts of life...the growing pains, the fun girl's nights...everything.
People have asked me, "Does it hurt to see your friends with their children?"...my answer, truthfully..."Not one bit."...I feel so lucky to be able to share that joy with them...to see them become mothers and fathers...great mothers and fathers at that. If anything, it makes me want it more. Kelly, her girls, and I went to our "old lady lunch" at Olive Garden yesterday...all you can eat soup, salad, and breadsticks for $6.99, baby! I sat next to Chloe and Kelly asked if I'd mind feeding her her lunch. It's times like that, I truly love...and find so far from a nuisance in our times together. Times I get to spend coloring with Addison, or playing hide n'seek...make me smile. Addison has called me Mimi, since she was a baby and it's stuck. I am one grateful, Mimi! We went to the outlets and walked around a bit and as we were leaving, we got that beyond obnoxious, addicting..."Everybody have fun tonight...Everybody Wang Chung tonight" song stuck in our heads, because it was blasting over the outside speakers. We looked up what it meant, on the way home to, "wang chung" lol, and it basically said, "whatever you want it to mean, to be free, to have fun, to just be"....
So on that note, I hope...
everybody has fun tonight...
"Everybody Wang Chung Tonight!"....
Some pictures of the girls <3
Kelly, Chloe and Addison w/Easter treats from Mimi
Me and Chloe @ lunch <3
I'm enjoying this week. I haven't had to think about things. I know next week will be different...but I'm not going to let it take away from the time I have to have fun right now. My mom and I are going to do some shopping and Steve has off tomorrow...looking forward to the holiday weekend with my loves...
"And I don't know where I'd be without you here
'Cause I'm not really me, without you there" <3