Sunday, April 15, 2012

Peace + Love (and a Video)

There's a newly 35 year old man sleeping (and snoring) beside me, and I'm about to join him.
I'm tired.  Good tired.
The weekend was all about celebrating. 
Celebrating Steve's new year. (more on that in the next post)

And the sweet fact that we're another step closer.

Wednesday morning was an adventure.


An hour before my appointment, I found myself a little frazzled. I felt my eggs having quite the party, and was a tad scared they may have already gone bye-byes.
So, before leaving,
I gave myself a pep talk.  Took a few deep breaths.  Lost my car key (yes, I don't have a keychain...don't ask) in the process.  Found it after running around the house like a crazy chicken.  Attempted to break the door handle off of my car when it wouldn't open.  Did a walk of shame when I realized it wasn't my car...just one that was the spitting image of mine.  Took this picture...


And then, I drove.  I was calm.  I was focused.  I was ready.
About 30 minutes later, I found myself sitting in the waiting room, anxiously flipping the pages of an old magazine I'd already read last month.  I quickly put it down and waited for a good fifteen minutes until I was called back.
(thank you all so much for your wonderful words on my last post. I read and received a few of the comments while I was waiting, and they made me smile.)


As the nurse drew my blood, I told her about all the action I was feeling on my left side.  She assured me that I was fine and that the ultrasound would prove good things.
And, it did.
There they were...my 3 eggs...literally hours away from releasing.
It was perfect timing.
As I sat and waited as the nurse showed my doctor my ultrasound photos, I heard him say, "Oh! Those are damn good eggs...IUI...TODAY!"
I wanted to jump up and down and do cartwheels!

The nurse popped out from the office, smiled big, and told me the good news. 
And then, some more good news...that I could stay put and have my procedure at that location, because the courier was making a delivery at noon. 
And our donor would be included in that delivery.
I was so happy, I could have done 500 twirly whirls around the office.


I had a little over an hour to kill, so, I went back to the car. Did a happy, happy, joy, joy dance.  Called Steve.  Called my mom. Talked to a friend.  Sent a few texts.  And then, I received one from Steve...
He said he didn't want to get my hopes up, but that he really wanted to try and make it. 


He made it. <3


From the moment I shimmied out of my jeans and lucky underwear, and onto that bed, with Steve close, holding my hand...
  I was nothing but giddy (and gassy...the overly excited/I have to poop kinda giddy *more on that below*)


Our doctor was awesome as usual.  He didn't sugar coat a thing, but was happy and more than satisfied with the way things turned out.  He said we couldn't have asked for better timing...
that there's always a chance it could happen first try...
and that if it didn't, we know it can and will happen, and that we will jump right into the next cycle.


I could go on and on about all the emotions that came over me that day.
But, if I sum it up...
I was overjoyed.  I was surprised at how collected I was during the IUI.  It felt so natural.  Like, in every way.  It wasn't always that easy...
I felt accomplished.
I felt proud...of Steve.  Of us.
I fell more in love with Steve.


We took a video. 
(We spoke pretty quietly, so the nurses wouldn't know think we were insane. You may want to turn off my music *on sidebar* and turn up the volume. Oh, and we talk about cheeseburgers, The Simpsons, and farts. It was magical. I mean it.)




The tears flowed freely as I drove home.  I felt a weight lifted. 
The past two and a half years flashed before my eyes and granted me such a sweet gift...

I felt peace like no other.


I felt love.
***


I'll see ya later this week. :)




Happy Cartwheel Lovin',

39 comments:

KERRY said...

Oh Maria my dear sweet friend, I am crossing everything, and hoping, wishing, sending vibes, and thinking about you!!! We're all with you both (albeit a million miles away!)
Love love love you!!! xoxo
GOOD LUCK :)

Melissa said...

Maria, I am so happy that everything is lining up this cycle! I'm hoping and praying that this is IT, that this results in your so much desired take home baby.

Also, thank you so much for all the support you have given to Andy and I. Even though I don't always respond your words have meant so much to us.

Bernadette & Duane said...

Darn right it CAN and WILL happen, and I can't wait to read about it when it does!!! But, seriously crossing my fingers that it happens this time! SO glad Steve could make it! Much love to you!

Carlia said...

i'm so glad it went so well! you two are so adorable. :) the video was so sweet and funny! and, by the way, did you know that you have the exact same voice as anne hathaway? ;) LOVE it! good luck!!!!!!! i'm seriously crossing everything for you!

E and R said...

So glad to hear it went well! Everything is crossed that the wait goes by quickly and that you get the best news!

Judy Haughton-James said...

Hi Maria,
I am happy that you have been getting a lot of good news and things are falling into place. My prayers and thoughts are with you and Steve and I hope all goes well. Keep the faith. Lots of Love, Friendship and Best Wishes.
Judy

Kerstin@TheRealHousewivesofIdaho.blogspot.com said...

Sending you the most positive happy thoughts, for success on round one. I loved the video. You can see how much you and Steve love each other. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed and sending prayers up.
Xoxo,
Kerstin

waitingforarainbow said...

I have been going to your page like every 2 hours waiting for this post. YAY!
First of all, that sounds like the most exciting, nerve racking day EVER.I'm surprised you didn't fart and poop 100x lol! (Seriously it is a good thing that you didn't drink coffee... I KNOW EXACTLY what you mean! You probably would have literally crapped your pants haha)but seriously, I'm really happy you mentioned it, because I've googled it before. I thought my sister and I were the only weirdos who get gassy and poopy when we're nervous!

When I heard that you got to stay right at the office, I wanted to do some twirlys myself! And then your video... ohhh your video, it was perfect. First of all April 11?? It's already been 5 days?! Holy cow! Time flies! But is it flying for you? I hope so!! You and Steve are so funny! I'm glad he could make it out, and I am glad to hear that you will accept either outcome. (Doesn't mean I'm going to stop praying like crazy though!)

Lol it's funny how many videos I have of Ryan and I, but I would so rather not post them. Most of them were made when we were drinking, or they are just really dumb. I have one of us on the way to register, and we're rapping. Seriously, I'm addicted to making videos, and I think it's great that you did. I seriously laughed through the whole thing haha.

Thank you for your prayers! Haven's appointment went great today:) it was super quick, but that means everything is going perfect. I didn't get to see her again like you thought, my last ultrasound was at 24w, and that's it. It would have been 20w if it weren't for the cyst. I have to wait until July to see her pretty face again!

Anyway~ you've made it through 1 week already, well, almost. Just 1 more to go!! Hang in there! I can't help but wonder if you're feeling any symptoms yet. I don't want to make you go crazy by saying that.. but I can't help it, I'm too excited!!

Maria, omg, I just posted a comment that is LONGER than your blog post. I need to stop now. Thinking of you! thoughts and prayers and baby dust and lots of love,
Heather

Rebecca said...

There is research that laughing immediately after the procedure increases odds! You guys had some good laughs! I'm jealous you got to stare at butterflies. I never had anything like that to distract me at my apps. GL! :)

M said...

Praying that this is your month! You so deserve this <3

Kristina Torrejon said...

So glad it went well and that Steve was there with you! Praying this is it for you guys!! xoxo

lovejoy_31 said...

I am so very happy for you girl. Sending you lots of love and feel good vibes. Crossing my fingers and toes for you this time. Thanks so much for the sweet comment about losing my grandfather. And as always, I'll be praying for you too!!

Just to let you know, Celia was sitting beside me when I was reading this post. She was reading a book to her baby doll and all of a sudden, said "Hey mommy, that is a funny face, who is that?" when looking at the 1st pic in this post. LOL!!!

Mrs. E said...

It's funny because I already heard about this, and I was still so excited to read about it!!! Video streaming is blocked at the hospital from 8-5pm, but I'll watch it after that. Thinking of you and sending lots of hurry up 2ww vibes! Love you :)

Ashley said...

Yeah!! So happy and excited for you! Fingers and toes are crossed.:)

Loved seeing the video! You guys are too cute!

Ashley said...

Yeah!! So happy and excited for you! Fingers and toes are crossed.:)

Loved seeing the video! You guys are too cute!

Olivia- wife. mother. photographer. said...

Sooo happy Steve made it! :)
I know how much that meant to you. Thinking of you friend and sending you positive vibes!!! Fingers crossed, toes crossed, eyes crossed... you get the idea :)

YAYYYYY!

Gumdrop Pass said...

...and I thought I was the only one that had the so-excited-feel-like-I-have-to-poop(AND PEE IN MY CASE)-syndrome... good to hear I'm not alone! ;)

I LOOOOOVE the video, OHMIGOSH! ...in 7th grade, I described the "lava" in lava lamps as "Little Homers"... :)

But I LOOOOVE the video! You two are soooo SOOO incredibly cute that it makes me die. You two as a couple are AH-dorable. ...I feel like you have a chance, too. :) I love your tour you gave... you made me cry. lol

Good luck, pretty lady. I can't wait to read more! <3

Anonymous said...

I've been following your blog for 1+ years. My husband and I have one daughter with DE & surrogacy and now await twins with the same (at 13 wks!!!). We are so over-the-moon!! I really, truely hope this cycle works for you. You are one special woman. Love your thoughts/prose. Sending lots of of baby dust your way!!!

Aleisha McD said...

Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!!!!!! I loved this and am so stinkin' excited for you guys. It was so cute to listen to Steve talk about a cheeseburger. Ha ha. It gave me the giggles. He's my kind of guy! You looked great in your video too..."swimming" on the table! Ha! I thought, "Only Tacohead." Goodness, seeing a vid of you made me miss you so much. So so much! I'm sorry I've been out of touch. I've had a pretty trying month with all sorts of drama and hardship....ah, such is life, I suppose. My friends funeral was today and it was really hard. The service was exceptional and beautiful. She'll be missed! Anyway, I am crossing my fingers and toes and thinking lots of good "baby" thoughts! Haha! And of course, I'm always praying. I hope you know how much I love you, despite the lack of phone and Skype chats. I love you a whole, big, ginormous bunch! Let's Skype soon, okay!? XOXO

Kathy Radigan said...

I too am crossing everything and sending only the best thoughts and prayers for you and Steve!! Much love to you sweet friend! Thank you for sharing this with us!! xoxo

Moosey Mommy said...

Your posts always make me cry for some reason! I am so excited for you, and am praying that this is THE TIME!!! That is awesome that Steve was able to make it to be there, too!! I am going to be very anxiously waiting for update blog posts. Best of luck, and you and Steve will be in my prayers. YAY!!!

Kari said...

Teary eyed reading this. I'm pulling for you guys so so so so so much!!! It will happen for you guys. I just know it! Maybe there's a chance we'll be date twins? :)

<3

Tammy@TheStitchingCoop said...

Okay we are cyber adopting you both! Your a younger version of my hubs and I. Whenever he or I have had to have surgery, the nursers giggle. They've come to know me very well as he works where I usually have my surgery or they know him from a previous job (e ver ry one knows him in this town). We sing to each other and we don't care who can here us. But the funny thing is this... usually you'll catch a nurse or two or even a couple of the day surgery patients joining in.... IT cracks us up. You could brought the best medicine in the room with you... laughter and love! Blessings await you, i'm sure of it. Hugs. Tammy

KERRY said...

Maria Maria Maria!!!!! I just came back here to watch your video because I didn't get the chance to stay too long yesterday. Oh you have no idea how excited I am right now to have heard your voice!!! You have a beautiful voice, a gorgeous accent, and you are gorgeous in pics but even more so in real life!!! And Steve!! What an absolute spunk in real life you are too ;)
I loved this, thank you so much for making my night xoxoxoxxo

LOVE MELISSA:) said...

I am crying again Maria. You are so good at making me cry. I am so excited for you! You are just a gorgeous personal in and out and I can't wait to see what this journey holds for you. And Steve- what a cutie!! I am praying and praying hard!!!

Cami said...

Oh Maria. I am SO excited and SO happy for you. How blessed you are. What a blessing this is. I have faith that all will be well <3
SO EXCITED!!! And happy.
This post brought tears to my eyes because I feel like I've been on this journey with you. So excited for the next step!!!
You and Steve are SO beautiful.

Julie Marling said...

New Follower from Blog hop today! Great news that things are working out! I love your positive outlook. May God Bless you!

http://naptimeshopper.blogspot.com/

lovejoy_31 said...

Yes, Maria! It was a compliment. It did make me laugh because she ran around the rest of the day giving her funny face to everyone she saw!!! Loved it!

Praying for you and hoping that you and Steve stay sane the next few weeks. Love to you both!!

Maria said...

YAY Maria! I am so excited to hear this! Maybe you will be a mama of three by this time next year! I will totally make a road trip out to meet you and the babies!!

Victoria Leigh said...

AWWW Congratulations Maria and Steve! you guys are such an inspiration for so many couples! You two truly deserve to be blessed with a little baby and I am sure it will happen when the timing is perfect! Watching this made me think about giuliana and bill rancic and how they have documented everything and shared their story to help people going through the same thing and i just wanted to say you guys may not be celebrities as they are but sharing your story definitely helps people and gives people hope! you two are such an inspiration to all couples! Good luck with everything!

The Belly Dancer said...

Congratulations! New follower, I'm a follower of Judy the twinless tween, saw your comment and came to follow you. Have a blessed evening as I know you will.

Rachel Marie said...

Yay Maria!!!! I am so happy for you :) It is truly wonderful what is going on, and I hope the absolute best for you and Steve. I loved the video and it made me feel closer to you as a person :) Fingers crossed for you and I can't wait to hear how it went soon. Hugs<3

Jessica @ TheCrazyChaoticHouse said...

YAY!!!! So so happy and excited for you guys. Fingers crossed and can't wait to hear the latest update. ANd thank you always for stopping by and saying hello:)) When I see you have left a comment it always makes me smile. Being in your situation and all the troubles you have had you still come by and read my post about baby#3 and so on....you are such a strong woman!

Lay said...

Awe, I'm so happy for you!! I can't wait for when you post your first ultrasound picture :) I have my fingers cross for both you and your hubby!

ps, you are so freaking cute!

Anonymous said...

Good Luck to you Maria! Your blogs are so inspirational. I went through 4 IUI cycles and now I have a beautiful daughter. You will have your bundle of joy soon!

Karen said...

I am so glad he was able to make it to your big appointment. So exciting. Praying for you!

Camille said...

I can see you have an amazzzzing husband. What a deep and strong love you share :).

Cheers, Maria. xo.

Yoli N. said...

Congratulations! Wow, I felt like I took that exciting day with you! Thanks for sharing! -Yoli

Jennifer McLean said...

Hi, following you from Victoria's voice bloghop!

Best,
Jenn of www.Justaddwatersilly.com

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