Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Voice Within

"The Voice Within" Christina Aguilera

I'm glad I waited until this afternoon to start writing. As last night, I was about to type quite the "Debbie Downer" post. I was frustrated with the stream of emotions that didn't want to seem to let up on me. I was upset at Steve's choice of words when I asked why he didn't call me back after the phone cut out on his way home from work.
His response (in a smartypants, short kinda way) - "Because, Maria. I know all I'm going to hear is, you're miserable. And obviously I know anything I say isn't helping. I'm watching the Yankees game."

This is where Maria chooses to go either the weepy, "How can you say that?! You're so insensitive" route.
Yea, this route is usually taken only 14% of the time.

This is the route I'm more famous for taking, those other 86%. And this is the one I took last night.

But then I clear my head after a few moments of rage. And I know that Steve is just as frustrated as I am. He might have chosen some pretty dumb words and an unflattering tone of voice. And he might take a while to say he is sorry. But, he does. He says it without saying it. Being sorry is a topic I have a strong opinion on. To me, being sorry isn't just saying, "I'm sorry"...

Saying, "I'm sorry", to me, almost means nothing in my book. You gotta prove it. You gotta earn it. Does anyone agree with me? It takes milliseconds to say those two little words but sometimes, a lifetime to prove you mean them.

Last night Steve said, "I'm sorry" by bringing me a hot compress (ok, it was lukewarm, but it's the thought that counts) for my raging headache. By bringing me a large fountain diet coke (my favorite). And a hug. The kind that lasts for minutes where we don't say a word. We don't have to. And all is forgotten.

So, in an effort to start my afternoon on a positive note, I'm not going to write about lots of emotions today. I've got plenty of them in store for future posts. I will let the lyrics do the talking. I chose this song today, because it reminded me of a time in my life that also, wasn't so easy. I used to listen to this song many years ago and it brought me comfort. It reminds me of some of my friends, who could use a little cheering up at the moment.

"Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it's alright
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within"

Now let's get to all these pictures I have from the past week and a half, just begging to finally be added.

Last Monday.
Ahh, last Monday I had the pleasure of babysitting Addison and Chloe. We had way too much fun. And seriously, how can your Monday be a bad one, when it starts out with these two girls?!
Addison and Chloe

While Addison napped, Chloe and I got into some trouble.

Wasn't me, Promise ya, Chlo-Chlo!!

Addison and I colored up some masterpieces.
*Kelly, wait til I finally get around to updating my photos on FB, I have a few hundred for you ;)

After, Addison asked if we could play hairdresser. I can never say no. Is it weird that I actually think her brushing beating my head with her mini brush and getting it tangled in my rat's nest, feels good? Because I do. I was laughing hysterically before she even started. She asked me to take my hair out of my ponytail ball of knots. I warned her Mimi had not done a thing to her hair and it was extremely scary.

Her expression was priceless. She looked at me like, "Whoa, do you own a brush?"
Her words were, "Uh, don't look pretty anymore!" Through my uncontrollable laughter, I asked, "Why not?" She replied, "Because your hair is yucky!"
I have to agree with her 100%.
What do you guys think?
Maybe I should invest in conditioner that costs more than 77 cents?!

Just look at poor Addison trying to make something of my mane.

Me and Addison. :) After we decided my hair just needed to return to its tied back mess.

Monday ended with meeting my Mom for a walk on the new high school track.  It is beautiful.  She had already ran a measily 7 miles.  7!!  

I was lucky enough to end my week with the two lil' chickies above, and their Mama. We went to Olive Garden for our "old lady lunch" and afterwards found some new shoes for this happy munchkin.
Cool shades, Chloe!

Mouse Shoes. Can't.Stand.It. Photo courtesy of Addison.
She liked em' so much, she left with em on her lil' footies.

The girls, giddy over shoes!

Self Pic by the beautiful Miss Addison.

Saturday, Impending Hurricane Irene didn't stop us from having Jen's shower. Thankfully, it was a success!

The beautiful bride to be.

Me and Jen


She took the shoe right off of her cake.

the adorable cake. minus the minor boo boo in the front.

And if you don't know how the rest of the weekend and Monday went, refer to THIS post.

Tuesday was a good day. It was a thankful day. I was greeted with bright n' cheery flowers, a sweet card and sugary treats. Kim came over for coffee and breakfast and made my day!
We talked for hours and laughed so much. The kitties even entertained us with a game of hide n' seek.

Where could Twinkie be? LOL

Kim and I :)

I visited with my friend, Kerry and her daughter, Veronica.
Kerry and Veronica, all smiles!

I can't wait to see these girls again!

So far, Thursday has been good to me. No complaints here. I didn't necessarily wake up to the sun shining through the windows and birds chirping. I literally woke up to the sound of Twinkie coughin' up a monstrous hairball.

Eh, you know what, I'll take it.

No matter what emotions come in the next few days, I know I have a lot to look forward to and a lot to love.  And I have to be so thankful for that.

I'm going to take each day as it comes.  I'm going to be grateful for all that is good.  I'm going to pray for the good and the trying.  And always have hope.

I'm starting off the month right...
With a Girl's Night, while Steve has a Boy's night.
Friday is almost here.

"Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know"

I thank you all, so incredibly much for all the support.  Infinite positive thoughts and prayers to  many of you.
"When you're lost outside, look inside to your soul"
Happy 1st of the Month Lovin'


Kelly @ Stay at Home Trader said...

Ok so I totally laughed hysterically, awwwww'd at Chloe and Addisons pix (those shoes are ridiculously cute!). Jens shower looked so nice {{btw, nice choice with the belt}}. Your hair picture.... BAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAAHA! And that first picture with the black eyes! Omg you kill me!!!! For as crappy as this week was to you, I am so inspired by your sense of grace, humor, and love. You've got a whole slew of us behind you every step of the way!!!! Xoxoxoxooxo

Stephanie of Gumdrop Pass said...

Fist off: LOL at the {first} picture. How I love that you are able to make fun of yourself. It's a very endearing quality. :)

Secondly: Oh, STEVE! How you remind me of Jake. Sometimes selecting the right words is just too difficult, isn't it? ;)

Thirdly: I 100% agree with you about proving that one is sorry. I can hold a grudge like no other... well, really only with Jake! Now that I think about it, I will forgive other people at the drop of a hat (usually). But that boy has gotta PROVE himself! ;) Aww, and I forgive Steve (lol) because he did those nice things for you. Attaboy! :)

Your pictures are too cute. Those girls are TOO CUTE (they look so much like one another, too which makes them even cuter). I love your hair - looks like we have similar balling-up-the-hair-and-going-with-it mentality. My husband calls me a bag lady or a "pool hall lady" when I unravel the ball. lol.

Ok...I'm completely hogging your comment section. I am done. ;) I hope you have a good weekend!

Mrs. E said...

Haaga!!!! This post had me cracking up!!! The picture of you as the devil is priceless (and I'm sure if I showed it to Feleen he would think it was me lol) I think you're handling this week very well. I know it hasn't been easy, but I always admire your ability to see the humor/good in a bad situation. Much love to you xoxoxoxo~

Moosey Mommy said...

LOL I loved the picture of your crazy hair!! Mine is usually like that, only it's shorter! I have it pulled back EVERY day. Just easier that way! LOL

Just Jenny @ Sippy Cup Chronicles said...

New follower via the cup o joe blog hop. You have such a nice blog.

Come visit me @

Stephanie said...

I'm a new follower and you totally hooked me at that (absolutely hilarious) first pic! I then read your first story... wow. You and your hubs are so strong. So excited to start following you. Come visit me sometime! XOXO, Stephanie

Kelly @ Taste Out Loud said...

I just love your blog name. Looking fwd. to reading more.

ashley said...

Great post! Great pictures of those sweet girls. New follower. Have a great Friday!

Anonymous said...

I always loved Christina's head voice best! Beautiful song.

Those two girls are just.. welll... MEEEEEEPS in the highest pitch one can muster.

Love the dragonfly on the blog background.

Ahem.... i'm a red sox fan so i'm on your side of the arguement by default. :)

Moods.. yeah we all get them and it's how we step back from them and then re-engage that matters.

I love your post. You just spill and somehow it works. Love it.
Tammy... oh... I'm having a GIVEAWAY if you would like to submit your name.

Rebecca Bany said...

This post is GREAT.
Thanks for sharing.

Green Mama said...

Such cutie girls to hang out with...glad your feeling better:)

Network Marketing Mama said...

I'm your newest follower and I totally agree that 'I'm sorry' needs to be proven with actions. Glad you got your devilish emotions under control!

Stop by Network Marketing Mama for a visit sometime!

My SoCal Life said...

Loving all the pictures!! love that cake w/the blue shoe!!

new GFC follower from the hope, would love a visit back and say hello!

Mommy LaDy Club said...

You're right about the I'm sorry in actions. I do think though, that being happy is just a choice you make, because we can always dwell on what's going wrong. It's all how you choose to look at things, and the attitude to take, and you did just that actually, huh! Cute post, and I really love your belted maxi dress at the shower;)

Kathy said...

I love the pictures of the hair salon!! Way too cute!! I wish I did not know how you felt, but I do. If I could give one piece of advice from my own experince I would say add something new and meaningful to your life. If you like to sing join a choir, always wanted to knit, quilt, garden, kick box, anything that adds joy!! Don't focus on not thinkiing about things, that only makes you think more, but when you add joy you open up your life!! Wishing you all life's happiness!!!!

Judy Haughton-James said...

Wonderful post Maria! You make one reflect a lot by what you wrote. The words of the song are awesome and oh what beautiful pictures! Take very good care and my best wishes to you and your family.

Stacie said...

Feel like I just took the emotion rollercoaster:-) Thanks for sharing your beautiful family. Over from Wild Wkd. Hop.

Dawn said...

How could I not follow your blog after seeing the first photo!?! Too funny! Love that you can laugh at yourself! The girls are adorable!!
Following you now from the weekend blog hop!

Shannon Milholland said...

You are so funny! Love the story of working through a tough marriage moment. We all have them and love that you and Steve pushed through and drew closer together. Also enjoyed your sincerity and authenticity! (New follower).

Mrs. JRose said...

Lo!ve that song and I absolutely LOVE that first picture of yourself!!!! I feel that way sometimes as well! Wonderful post! Love ya!

Anitra said...

What a neat post. I'm a new follower from the Lots of Lovin hop. You can find me at

Anonymous said...

new to your the honesty...stay strong.... : )

Nicole Rene said...

This is just what I needed to read right now when I am feeling down on my luck & knowing that everyone has these days & it will be alright. I definitely am like you and go with the angry version more often than the weepy version so I feel like I can relate to that. I'm glad things are better though! :) Love all the pictures!

Camille said...

i'm so glad you've got a hubby that knows how to say i'm sorry and also show it. i agree. actions DO speak louder than words!

those girls are the cutest!


LOVE MELISSA:) said...

That first picture of you is gorgeous! Actually, I love all the pictures. Great song as usual!

My Journey With Candida said...

What a cute post, and you and the girls all are so adoreable.

Hope you don't get migraines too often.
By the way, I also live in PA. Kind of between Pittsburgh and Erie.

Wacky Ways said...

Visiting from Thirsty Thursdays - Hope you can return the love. Mom Blog Society is having an Alexa hop this weekend. We sure hope you can join us for the fun.

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