Overcome - Guest Post by My Husband, Steve

"Overcome"  by Live

To say anything now, personally as a man born and raised in NYC, almost feels like a sacrilege…. however, I think this song, at this time in my life has taken over all of my senses…

I am overcome with the memories of my life; including the memories of a day 10 years ago and all the fears I had… Now, as a man trying to create a new life, both literally and figuratively in one of the most uncertain times in my life, I cannot help but share my thoughts feelings and experiences:

“Overcome” is the understatement of the millennium in my eyes…

For those of you who have read my first guest blog post (MY 1ST GUEST POST) on my wife’s site, you may have picked up that I am a sap, a sucker of emotion.. It guides me, pushes me, and betters me… Emotion has driven me to my greatest failures but my even greater successes…

At this very moment, I sit and watch football. Unfortunately as I turn the channel off the game, I am also encountering so many 9/11 tributes, stories and chronologies…. EMOTION OVERCOMES ME NOW!!

I am overcome with emotion for all the people that I have come in contact with, and this is my way of thanking them, of being a part of their lives, and them as part of mine….

I wrote most of this on September 8, 2011, 3 days before the SECOND most cataclysmic (WOW, I spelled that correctly on my first try) event in my life… “What did you do on September 8, 2001?” is NOT what you are asking yourself now or at any part of your life… I knew I needed to write this in pieces though, because of how strong of an emotion I had for this day and our situation and how they are coming together as one because of this song.

On September 11, 2001 however, at about 8:30am I asked myself, “Will I be late to work because of traffic?” and “Was that a stupid pilot that Howard Stern was talking about?”….

Was I ever wrong…

Cell phones are all but a given in 2011… Remember 2001??? I had a Motorola Star-tac… No pictures, barely any texts if any at all, reception on pace with what we now know as “1G”…. if we are lucky….

My mother and Father (Stepfather for continuity, but he is my father now) worked in Downtown NYC at the time, their subway station was “Canal St” when the next is “Chambers/WTC”. I knew that every morning they were at WTC 1 getting breakfast and eating it at the fountain outside of 1 and 2…

They “Could” be in full uniform any given day for the New York City Corrections Department and be required to be at “ground zero” to assist or worse, as a statistic… That morning, as most, I did not clear the agenda or orders with them as I assumed it would be “status quo”….

I could not, for the life of me get in touch with them for 3 days…………….

To say it was the worst 3 days of my life…………… even more than my father, because I at least knew what happened……. Is an understatement……

Regardless of my Father’s death, I was OVERCOME with emotion in that, and this, very moment remembering these thoughts…

“Where are my PARENTS! Please help me where are they???” I knew every phone # to call… I knew every person… I had the COMMISSIONER of NYC’s CORRECTION DEPARTMENTS phone #…. And I could not get through to anyone….

I was so scared, so alone, so overcome….

“What once seemed unthinkable, has happened…. On a bright summer morning, under a clear and cloudless sky… Terror Struck… to grasp the enormity of it, is almost too much for the heart to bear.. September 11, 2001, it is a date that will be etched in history, engraved in stone, and in our memories… The day of the attack on America…” – Ted Koppel

That day, and the days to come, when I could not get in touch with a single person, I felt I lost all…. I had felt overcome…

Up until that day, there had only 1 time in my life I had felt overcome….

The news of “My Father”…


Now today…. I have my wife, Maria, and the lack of the family I wish to have which is making me feel, overcome. I have been trying to be so strong for so long for both she and I, trying not to show any cracks or kinks in the armor, to be the rock we both need, that I lost my way…

I lost the sense of feeling that made me different than other males, those that were too tough or too proud to show any sort of weakness, all the while I showed it and it was one of my greatest strengths. Today, 9/11/11 reminded me of who I am and what I am about.

To those who have come to know my wife, I thank you for all of your strength and support… She has been OVERCOME in all of our experiences.

She is why I am stronger than I have ever been before…

I cannot imagine the number of women who have connected with her and all of the bonds that you have formed with her over the last couple of months, and thank you all for it..

While I know she has supported so many of you, either directly or indirectly, we have both been OVERCOME by everything we have shared with you.

I could not imagine that this time in our history, nevertheless in my life, be it 10 years ago when I was hoping for the safe keeping of my friends and family of some time, that now, I would be asking all of you to pray for the well being of my wife and I while we are overcome by our most personal experiences now.

10 years ago today is something I hope to share with my child 10 years from now, and I'm looking forward to the challenge, as all my friends now are trying to explain what is happening and why… I hope and pray that Maria and I have that ability to be the parents we both want to be….

Maria and I

I hope and pray for the people who are reading this (as well as those that are not)

My Father...My Hometown...Who I am...All I Have...
Tonight, I Remember...

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In Memory of all lost…
Steve