Tuesday, July 24, 2012

And The Number Is...


Last Tuesday, I was out to lunch with my mom and brother.  The thought that there was no way I could be pregnant consumed me.  I was a day late, but the lack of symptoms (the ones that I've grown very accustomed to over the years) weren't there.  Or maybe, it was just that I did a decent job at not letting the two week wait take over my mind and heart this time.  I sat and shoveled my food as my stomach turned, knowing that when I got home, I would test. 





Between the two and a half glasses of iced tea and the fact that I held my pee for a good 5 hours, I couldn't wait a second more once I ran in the door.  I unwrapped the test with my teeth.  Shimmied my jeans down fast as lightening and did my business.  My heart was racing, but more in an angry, anxious, "I don't wanna see that one line and know it's gonna ruin the rest of my day" kinda way.

I skipped my usual routine of placing a tissue over the the test for five minutes.
And I just went for it.  And watched as the pee made its way through the "testing window."
My heart beat loud and fast when within seconds, the test line showed a dark pink line - even darker than the control line.  Within not even twenty more seconds, the test line was almost red.  I nearly fell to the floor.  I couldn't believe it.  I was shaking and trembling and in complete shock.
Out of all of my pregnancies in the past, this by far, was the most beautiful line I had ever seen.


It's been a week, and I feel good.  I feel more positive than negative.  I feel symptoms.  And I don't know if it's that it may just all be in my head - but I am tired.  Sometimes, exhausted.  Sometimes, full of intense energy.  And very hungry.


 I actually got excited on Saturday when my boobs felt like heavy bags of sand.  Steve cracks up when I sit up every morning and feel myself up before getting out of bed.  With my progesterone being super duper high and taking 400 mg. a day extra of the hormone - I have a feeling it is kicking my butt.  But, I will take it.
  I will take it all.


It feels more real each day.


I can't thank you all enough.  Not just for your kindness after my last post, but  for your always amazing words, unconditional love, and sweet support through all of this. It is so touching and truly is such a wonderful blessing. 
 THANK YOU! THANK YOU! <3


And yesterday, it felt even more official.
At five weeks exactly, we went in for our first ultrasound.
Just like my intuition proved me wrong last week,
so did my intuition as to how many minions were growing in there.

And the number is....

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*


ONE!!!
(one sweet little gestational sac)




And we couldn't ask for more.

I was surprised, but there was a feeling that washed over me right before the nurse began the ultrasound.  I thought, "Maybe it is one.  One strong little one who's gonna be a fighter."
Steve held my hand, as we kept giving each other little squeezes as the nurse told us everything looked great and just as it should. 


Our doctor left us with the words "Keep the dream alive!"  We laughed, smirked, and smiled
as we all looked at each other like "This better be it, dammit!"
  He has a feeling that with my progesterone and hcg being "through the roof" -
 it's a wonderful sign of good things to come.
 As it all helps the baby thrive.

And that's just what I'll keep on doing...thriving, hoping, and praying for the best.
And giving thanks for the blessing I am carrying.
We go back next Monday for our six week ultrasound.  And there's a chance we may be able to see the heartbeat.


I came home from our appointment yesterday, changed into Steve's gym shorts and celebrated with a slice of pizza and an extra long nap.  And when I woke up, I took some bump shots. 
Yes, I know, I'm only five weeks.
But, trust me, after all these pregnancies, I think a bump pops quicker and quicker each time.
At first, I thought, "Maria, is this going overboard?!  You're so early."

And then I stopped and told myself, "Nope, it's not!"
"This is it!" 
And I'm gonna keep on believing that as much as I possibly can.


Thank you all for believing along with me. <3





I'll be back at the end of the week with a bajillion and twenty-seven memories from the past week.



Blessed Lovin',

49 comments:

Queer Christian Collective said...

Beautiful! I'm so happy for you. That's just wonderful news; another baby God is bringing into the world :) You're going to be so lucky after-pregnancy - you're so well-proportioned, any weight will dissolve, woman. This is such a blessing and I'm so happy you get to experience it.

xx
Elise

Shawn said...

Congratulations! I'm so excited for you and your husband!! I'm wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months.

Hi, I'm Aleisha! said...

AAAHH!!!!! One one one one one!!! What the heck, I could have sworn you were having three! Ha ha ha!!!! But one good and strong and healthy one is pure awesomeness. I'm so happy for you honey buns! I saw my parents briefly on our way home from Bear Lake and my dad said, "Be sure to give Tacohead a squeeze from us!" So cute. I told them your news and they were really happy for you! You just keep on taking care of yourself and your wee one and I'll see you soon! Love you lots!!!!! XOXO

Lindsey said...

Wahooo! I have so much hope and faith for you!! Your numbers are AMAZING for one!! This is such GREAT news! :) WOOOOOT!!!!! :)

E and R said...

What wonderful news!!! I am so excited for you and praying that you finally get the 'take home baby' you SO deserve!!

lovejoy_31 said...

I hate you!!! Your abs are banging, Mama!!! No seriously, you are beautiful and I couldn't be happier for you. Try to enjoy each and every single day because you know better than most that whether you worry or not, it won't change the outcome. But in saying that, I fully believe that this is the ONE. Lots of lot for you lady!!!

xoxo
Joy

Olivia said...

That is the best news!!!

I cried reading this whole post, I am so happy for you guys :)

Unknown said...

So incredibly happy for you. I'm sitting here with a smile pasted on my face and chill bumps on my arms even though it is 100 degrees outside. I'm hoping and praying for you and Steve. I pray that this is your take home baby that you have been fighting for for so long! I can't wait for more updates! :-)
xoxox

Thrifty Crafty Girl said...

Congratulations! What awesome news!

Wendy said...

Congratulations! I have been following your journey for a few weeks now but have never commented. You are such a strong lady! So happy for you and your hubby! I'll be praying for you!!

Rebecca said...

Yay!! Great news!!! Praying this is the take home baby! That was an awesome line on the test by the way....none of mine ever looked that good.

Heather said...

Great news!!! Congratulations!!! Praying so hard that this baby stays put and grows nice and strong. You are going to be the most amazing mother.

carlia said...

i am so happy for you that i am actually tearing up! congratulations(again, because you just can't hear it enough)!!! now, you take care of yourself and that little peanut in there. we're all rooting for you!

JP said...

Looks like a great one to me! Congratulations! Your enthusiasm is contagious. I am so excited to witness your journey!

Thanks for keeping up with my blog too, and try the cauliflower!

Our Journey Through This Lovely Life said...

YAY!!! One little fighter is right! Maria I am just so so happy for you! I hope it's a girl so we can try all the pretty headbands from our boutique on her!! :)) and your stomach is rockin! {jealous} Keep taking those pics and enjoy every second of this! and make more vlogs so I can feel like your sitting in my living room chatting!! lol Have a wonderful week! Sending you lots and lots of love and hugs!
Alexis~

Karen said...

Keep on thriving baby! I am doing the happy dance over here for you :)

"VQ" said...

Congrats! You probably don't remember me from TTCAL but I've been following your story for a long time. I'm praying this is your take home baby! :)

Kiara Buechler said...

Yay for your little fighter!!! You tricked me with the two ultrasound photos :-) I love your positive attitude.

Adi said...

Congrats, hon! Am holding my little fighter now and hoping some of my lucky vibes come your way. Take it one day at a time.

Stephanie @ Blonde Highlights said...

Ahhhh! I think one is absolutely perfect and amazing!!!! It is such a thriving little munchkin already!!!!! And I love the bump shots.... Definitely not too early!!!!!

Jonny and Brittany said...

COngratulations!! :) SO SO happy for you!!!

Unknown said...

Yippee! Wonderful news for sure! I am happy to read this just as I am about to go to bed in Jamaica Maria. For sure I will be saying a prayer for you and Steve. As the doctor says " Keep the dream alive!" Take care and have a wonderful night. Lots of Love, Friendship and Best Wishes always.
Judy

Jessica White said...

Woohoo! YAY! I'm so glad you guys got such wonderful news!

Ashley said...

Yeah!! I thought for sure it was two. :) I am so glad and so excited for your strong little one! This is it, this time! You got it, girl!!

Sending LOTS of prayers and love your way!!

Kerstin@TheRealHousewivesofIdaho.blogspot.com said...

When I got pregnant again after my back to back losses I went in for an early ultrasound, scared to death, and said to my doctor "This better be it or you might have to send me to the funny farm." And that is really how I felt. He replied "Me too." And then I made the choice every day to cherish THAT day, because I could not control what the next day would bring. And even though part of me didn't want to get attached in case something went wrong, there isn't really a way to do that anyway!

Your strength is amazing to me after all that you have been through. I love the belly pic! I did the same thing, telling myself I HAD to think positively. I am so, so, so happy for you and will continue to pray that this IS it for you!!! Xoxo, Kerstin

jenicini said...

<3

Jenny said...

Congratulations! I have a feeling you have a strong, healthy one on your hands that is going to stick around for a long, long time. So happy for you!

Emily said...

Such great news, Maria! This sounds like the healthiest, strongest pregnancy EVER and I'm so thankful for such reassuring numbers. Your amazing attitude is so inspiring to me!! I am praying for you and this sweet little baby!

Mrs. E said...

Hi pretty lady (with the gorgeous abs lol!) you know I'm so excited for you...I can't wait to meet the little muffin in August :) LOVE YOU and am SO happy for you! Xoxoxo

Brittany said...

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! One sweet little fighter!!!! How wonderful! Love the pictures of you with the sonogram...definitely ones for the baby book :). Ummmmm can I have your abs please? Woah, momma!! Those things are amazing! Do you do ab work outs along with your cardio? You look fabulous! Many, many hugs to you, Steve, and baby!!

Unknown said...

Yay, congratulations!!!! Hi, I'm your newest follower from Welcome Wednesday and I hope you can follow me back. http://TodaywiththeTennerys.blogspot.com

waitingforarainbow said...

Haven is here, sleeping in my arms as I type this... but I can't help but but jealous of the start of your new adventure! I loved the feeling I got when I saw my strong second line, the excitement of the first ultrasound, the awesome naps of the first trimester... the first site of a tiny bump. It's all so magical. Take in, and love every moment!! I'm so excited that I get to watch yet another beautiful rainbow grow, and make it safely into this world... especially YOUR rainbow!
I love how you said you're taking pictures of your bump, because this is it. I had that feeling too! Isn't it amazing??
Your next ultrasound is going to be more good news, and I am betting you will see that beautiful little heartbeat. Another wonderful moment I wish I could relive over and over again. It's moments like those, where you will always remember exactly how you felt when it was happening. :')
I am seriously getting all kinds of emotional and school girl giddy right now haha.. I'm so excited for this new adventure that you and Steve are on!!! :)
lots of love, and sticky vibes your way!
<3 heather

Unknown said...

Congratulations Maria! I am so very happy for you and Steve. And no it's not too early for bump shots, you deserve to take as many pictures as you want:)
"Keep the dream alive".....love it!
Hugs to you and steve:))

Angela said...

Such a happy, happy post :) So glad you snapped some belly pics! You will look back on those and be amazed at the change! Heavy sand bag boobs is great sign, heehee. I love how you say "I'll take it. I'll take all of it." I sense the wisdom in you...through everything you've gone through, you have grown as a person. Into a better person. You will be a BETTER mother because of all that you have experienced...there is a reason for everything. You have helped teach me that! Can't wait to hear how the u/s on monday goes! Sending all the sticky vibes your way Maria <3

Angela said...

P.S. That is a beautiful POAS pic!!!

Jen said...

So pleased to hear this wonderful news, Maria! Enjoy every day, there is no such thing as "too early" on your journey : )

meegan said...

Congrats!!!! <3

Anissa said...

Congrats on your news...I'm a new follower from the Weekend Blog Hop.

Anissa from Chasing Hailey
http://chasinghailey.blogspot.com/

Unknown said...

Congratulations and I am your latest follower! You are one brave woman and thank you for sharing your heart brake and joy. I've read your story and felt your pain if only once. It has been a pleasure and I will be checking in on you along with so many others.

I found you on a blog hop (can't remember which one there are so many) and I'm glad I am following such a wonderful blog. I would love a follow back from you Maria, it would be an honour.

I blog about fashion for moms and am a new lover of country music.

Iva
One Chic Mom
http://fabmom12.blogspot.ca/

Julia P F said...

Best of luck to you. I cannot imagine what you have been through. I will be sure to keep up with you!
I found you on Thirsty Thursdays...

Unknown said...

Congrats to you! I'll be following you and waiting for your upcoming baby news!

Love,

Flat Iron Experts

I'll Love You Forever said...

Those pink lines sure are dark! WOooo!! That is something I definitely remember with my first baby, sore boobs! I love your pictures :) Thinking of you, xoxo.

Anonymous said...

i haven't been back on your blog for quite some time (just got caught up with life) and today while i was rocking my son to sleep...i thought of you and crossed my fingers that your journey is going well....i see that it is going beyond well...CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
i am beyond happy for you :)

LOVE MELISSA:) said...

YAH!! I am so happy for you! Look at baby M. Can I just say you have a kick a-s figure! Totally jealous. I have tears of happiness for you and Steve! xoxo

Kerry said...

CONGRATULATIONS you guys!!!!
I am so beyond happy for you and I hope and wish for a beautiful, easy, uncomplicated pregnancy and 9months of getting really fat and bloated with heartburn and sleepless nights and waddling, let's not forget the walk!! I wish all those things for you Maria because you deserve it (I mean that it the nicest possible way!) Stay positive, stay strong, take care of yourself and that baby will thrive!! Love you my friends and always thinking of you xoxoxoxox
P.S. Have a wonderful weekend!!

Unknown said...

I just love you!!! Sending so many good thoughts, prayers and love!!!

Irish Carter of Dedicated 2 LIFE said...

Oh Maria, I just love your happiness. You are contagious. I am so happy for you and Steve. Love this little baby growing inside of you. She or He is going to be so blessed with the two of you. Wishing you both (and your momma too) a wonderful journey to follow with this experience.

I look forward to celebrating the next 9 months and more with you on this journey of yours. Sending you prayers and love.

Irish

Ashley at flats to flip flops said...

Congrats girl! You are such a fighter and you deserve this! Way to never give up! So so happy for you!
Love,
Ashley:)

Cami said...

Again, I AM SO SO SO HAPPY AND EXCITED FOR YOU!!!
What a beautiful little belly you have..well and by that I mean flat tummy haha. Can I borrow that when yours expands for BABY!!! YAY <3

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