*super rambly and hormonal alert*
"Wide Awake" - Katy Perry
"Wide Awake" - Katy Perry
I had coffee with breakfast. I had a cup at Kelly's house. And while driving home from cleaning, I cracked open a nice cold can of my good old friend, Diet Coke. I also cracked my streak of saying goodbye to my beloved caffeinated amigo. That first sip is always the best. I cut it out of my life a couple weeks ago. As I always do when starting another cycle.
But today, I said "Bite me!" to that little voice in my head that tells me what is right and what is wrong. It's just caffeine. And whether I drink it or not in this lovely two week wait -
It won't change the result. It won't hurt anything. I know this. I've learned it.
It's becoming more and more clear to me just how much I've learned over the years.
Especially in these years of trying to conceive - Make a baby - Carry a minion in my womb -
Become a mother.
I'm wide awake tonight. Deep in thought.
I find myself very aware these days. Of my surroundings and of other's feelings.
Of little signs that make their way into my days.
I don't think signs are always answers to your questions. I think that they are more, a way of letting you know that everything is going to be okay.
That you are loved.
And never alone.
Like, yesterday, when I drove through town,
to find the sky painted with cotton candy pinks and blues.
Like, when I sat at a red light yesterday. And the license plate in front of me said "BABYCAT."
Hey, might sound silly, but come on now...What does this girl have on her mind 24/7?!
Yes, you know it! Babies and cats!!
I barged through the door, ran up the steps and swung my camera around my neck. I wanted to run into town to catch the sky on fire before it set. I didn't make it.
But, after lots of coaxing to get his tush off the couch, Steve came with me for a teeny little stroll through the neighborhood.
Tonight's sky wasn't much different.
Like, over the weekend, when we sat down to eat dinner.
I looked down. And there, on my boob...Yes, my boob - was a little rainbow.
(Even though it was a reflection from one of the crystals on our chandelier, it still made me smile.)
Or like, a few weeks ago, when I was grocery shopping. I decided to skip self checkout as my arm was about to fall off from my overflowing basket.
I stood in line while I listened to the conversation between the cashier and "bagger."
The cashier was a twin. He rattled off the positives and negatives of having a twin brother to the bagger, stopping to make eye contact with me and smile as he scanned my items. The bagger went on to tell him how lucky he was and how he always wished he had a sibling. I smiled at them going back and forth. And then, my eyes met the cashier's name tag.
His name was the exact name Steve and I have chosen for
if we have a son someday. It isn't a popular name. In fact, I don't know anyone with it.
My heart kinda stopped and raced faster than ever all at once. I looked at him and instantly blurted out "I love your name!" With a look of surprise, he thanked me and told me it meant a lot coming from me.
*Hopefully, he didn't think this old lady was coming onto him. He was probably 17 or 18. ;)
I told him that if my husband and I ever have a boy, we are giving him that name.
I could tell he was flattered, as he went on to tell me about its pros and cons, and how he always loved it because it was different.
He offered to help me carry my bags to my car. I thanked him and told him I'd be okay.
And when I reached my car, I immediately burst into tears. Happy, crazy, hormonal, tears.
I don't know. Moments like that can take your breath away.
Whether it be a cotton candy sky, a "BABYCAT" license plate, a rainbow on your boob,
or an uncommon name...
Allow these "signs" to steal away with your heart.
As minor as they seem, they are truly the great moments in life.
Speaking of "uncommon" -
Last month, I was walking around aimlessly in Home Goods.
And this pillow caught my eye.
"Do the common things in an uncommon way."
I thought about it for the rest of the night - how much truth that sentence held.
This journey has made an already eclectic girl like me, even more open minded.
I've dug so deep. I've been challenged in somewhat chaotic circumstances.
I've been forced to look heavily outside the box in some instances.
But you know what - I wouldn't have it any other way.
Doing things in an uncommon way has always been my way...
It takes the plain and turns it into fun.
It takes the trying and awakens your senses and stretches your mind.
And you realize, you're stronger than you think you are.
Just a few common things with a little uncommon twist
from this week....
Grilling in the pouring rain.
Steve is hardcore like that. ;)
Letting your cats sit at the table with you.
Meeting this girl on a "friend blind date" years ago because your husband knew you'd both totally hit it off.
This is how Kelly rolls. She busts out a homemade eggroll from her purse. And shamelessly eats it at Olive Garden.
Overusing the "Distortion" feature on your phone...
(Kelly, I'm still laughing!)
These two take the cake.
Having way too much fun @ Five Below.
Playing dress up and goofing off in public.
Sitting at the bar for happy hour and ordering no alcohol, and instead -
these insanely awesome creations.
Having breakfast at your favorite spot with munchkins of good cheer and their mama...
and doing your makeup at the table.
Like I said...overusing the "Distortion" feature on your phone...
Mom and me
We had a great little walk and talk on the track today.
It's been one sweet, love-filled week. <3
Well, this vampire needs some sleep.
Good morning and good night, my friends. Have a sweet Thursday.
I'll be back sometime this weekend.
*Trying my best to wait to test until Monday or Tuesday. And I think I might just make it. :)
Awake and Aware Lovin',