Sunday, July 8, 2012

Even If It Breaks Your Heart

"Even If It Breaks Your Heart" - Eli Young Band

It's Sunday.  Already?!
 With the 4th of July being smack - dab in the middle of the week,
all of the days have just kind of blended into each other. 
I've been chugging along.  And keeping busy without trying to.

I'm 6 days past ovulation and our IUI.
(Thank you everyone, for your well wishes, positive thoughts, and prayers!) 

Right around now, is usually when my emotions start taking over.  Only to escalate a little (or a lot) more each day.  I don't want to jinx myself, but in this very moment, and what feels like the remainder of the day...I don't foresee "the crazies" getting the best of me.  I think I have at least a few more days.  Right around now, is also when I start heavily tuning into my body, looking for any little sign of a twinge or cramp.  I'm taking progesterone during the two week wait this cycle.  It can't hurt and can only help.  Though, it does create "fake" symptoms sometimes. 

Some say it gets easier - dealing with the pain, heartache, and constant battle.
I think it's like that quote about life after losing someone you love...

 It doesn't get easier.  You just learn how to live with it.

And with typing that, I'm choked up.  Because there's this bittersweet, honest, and good feeling inside of me.  A feeling that's a result of growing and learning and fighting through the hurt.
It can all eat away at me at times...consume my every thought...fill every one of my tears.

I'm not losing sight of my dreams. I'm allowing myself to keep hope and faith high.

And no matter how trying it gets at times,
I will continue to live

My mom and I have been spending lots of time outside.  Walking and running in the crazy heat and humidity.  On the track and in the park.   Reaping the benefits of a good sweat and happy endorphins.

My mom feeds this little guy whenever she goes to the track.

Her face says it all. 

Or maybe mine (and my hair) does.

Thursday, we left the track and headed to a much cooler spot. 
It's so peaceful here.

Like mother, like daughter.

Friday, we found ourselves back at the same trail.  We were on a mission.
For Mexican food. 
It's a great incentive when you know if you complete those 8 miles, 
there, at the end, will be an awesome authentic taqueria waiting for you.

We got our music ready.  Clenched our water bottles and began running.  Taking breaks to walk and wipe our sweat with one of my grandfather's old handkerchiefs.

Mile 3

Mile 5

Mile 6ish

This is the mile where I watched my mom run ahead, while I stopped to fill my water bottle at the oh so amazing fountain that appeared just when I needed it.
It wasn't shady anymore.  We were running on blacktop.  The sun was hot, hot, hot. 
Our clothes were drenched.  We were lookin' super sexy. 
I had a vision of me ignoring the "No Trespassing" signs on all the beautiful homes we passed, and diving right into their pools.
I drank my second bottle so quickly that I was ready for a third in no time.  But no more lucky fountains were ahead.  My mom, "Dynamic Deb" we'll call her, was still going strong.
 I started dreaming about tiny trolls standing alongside the path with water for me at each quarter mile.

No trolls were to be found. 
But, the taqueria was.

17,000 and some odd steps make chips, salsa, flautas, and fajitas taste even better.

My mom titled this photo "3 asses."  (Notice the photo next to us.)

It was worth it.

Some memories from last weekend...

I took a photography class with my friend, Kelly, last Saturday.

The location was so pretty, by the water and full of activity.
We learned so much from our teacher, Laura.  She has a great sense of humor and kept it low - key.
I love that it wasn't overwhelming and yet, she taught us tons in our two hours together.

I broke out my long lens and Kelly taught me that it really wasn't as tough to use as I thought.


Saturday night, Theresa and Andy had us over for dinner.

Theresa is an amazing cook.
She impressed us all with her grilling skills and served up fresh minty drinks along with homemade sorbet.
As I always say,
you can never go wrong with friends and food.

Thanks to the Rosenbergers for a wonderful night!

And, yep, you guessed it...
More food pictures.
Burgers, dogs, and ribeyes were on the menu for the 4th.

Vania and Chris came over. 
The Mr. grilled.

I "cheesed" the burgers. 

While Steve tried to catch his breath through the smoke and thick air.

Twinkie has a crush on Vania.

It was one of those days where you keep on thinking it's Sunday.
It was nice knowing that the weekend was just two days away.
After some brownies and games...

Muffin played a game of her own.  With the fly who snuck in.

We walked around the corner for fireworks.

The days have been happier than sad.  I feel blessed.

"Some dreams stay with you forever,
Drag you round and bring you back to where you were.
Some dreams keep on getting better.
Gotta keep believing if you wanna know for sure."

"Keep on dreaming, even if it breaks your heart."

Have a happy Sunday, friends.
See ya in a few.

Dreamy Lovin,'


M said...

I've got to go back and take a closer look at the pics...but it looks like you are having fun! 8 dpo for me here...and already getting impatient. I woke up nauseated last night and I've had lots of pinchy pully feeling yesterday and today and a few sharp twinges yesterday...hoping it means something. Thinking of you and praying this is IT for you guys :-)

Maria said...

I hope your week isn't full of crazies!! I really hope that this cycle is THE cycle. I am always thinking and praying that you get to the other side of this soon!!!

Rachel said...

You are so much better than me getting out and the heat and running, I don't run even when it is nice out! I can only imagine how hot you and your Mom must of been but it looks like you had a great reward waiting for you! I am hoping and praying for you that this time around all will go well. I think the progesterone is a good thing as it doesn't hurt anything even if you didn't need it. It looks like you had an awesome week and I hope it just keeps getting better for you. Have a wonderful week and keep us posted. BIG HUGS!

Brittany said...

You and your momma are SO cute! I love how much time y'all are spending outdoors soaking up the sunshine together...and treating yourselves to Mexican food afterwards :). Yum!! And your cowboy boots???? To die for! You know this Texas girl loves them!! That food looks so good and the fireworks shots are awesome...I want your photog skills! Looks like y'all had a wonderful 4th, pretty lady!!!!

lovejoy_31 said...

Girl, you have more friends than I have acquaintances. You are always having a ton of fun in your pics. Bravo for you to be out running/walking in this heat. It is 106 here today. It takes too much energy to even open the front door. Bravo for your mom to be so active and fit too. I wouldn't be able to go eat at a rest if I had just ran or walked 8 miles.
Continuing to pray for you girlie!! Don't keep us guessing (or at least me)!!!!!! LOL!!


~Rian said...

What great pictures!!! And bravo to you for those 8 miles and in the heat! Whew....I almost pass out walking to the mailbox!

I have to say that my heart stopped at the sweet picture of you holding the baby; and the thought consumed me that you will be holding your baby just like that one day. I feel as if the Lord was telling me to tell you to not give up hope, to hold on with everything that you have and to keep trusting in him as you have been doing. One day your sweet baby will be in your arms.

Keep pushing forward, Maria. Your dream is right around the corner.


Judy Haughton-James said...

Hi Maria,
Wow! Wow! Wow! You write such inspirational and real posts. The quotation " It doesn't get easier. You just learn to live with it is so true." I admire your spirit. Keep on keeping on and live with hope. The pictures are oh so beautiful as always. I note that you did a photography course. That is wonderful and you already take such awesome shots. You certainly have a cool mom. I like her determination to keep running and it is good that you get to join her. I need to start running too. I do exercise but some running would do me a world of good. It is also very hot here. I keep looking at a little thermometer that Janine and I have had for over 30 years and it continues to work!:) I did a post about it last Thursday. I remember you always in my prayers and know that things are going to work out for you. A special person like you will make a great mom! Take care and remember that you have a lot of us rooting for you. You are never alone on this journey. Keep the faith and have a very good week.
Lots of Love, friendship and best wishes always!

MrsV said...

You and your mom are crazy! lol I imagine myself running one day, runners are always so fit!
A photography class is also on my to do list, the ones here run weekly and so far they've been on days I can't commit to :(
I hope this next week flies by for you and hope you've had a good weekend! <3 oxo V

Kathy Radigan said...

It always amazes me how you keep up your faith! You are such an amazing person. I know only too well how this can wear you down and I think it's wonderful how you refuse to let it control your life, yet you still honor your feelings!!! I adore you! Sending so many good thoughts, wishes and prayers!!! Much love!


Olivia said...


That song has been on my mind all week, It must be for you!

This is a dream that is going to come true ((hugs)).

Kim said...

It looks like you had an awesome holiday! The pics, as always, are amazing!

Try not to go crazy (I know sometimes completely out of your control). I've got everything crossed and will keep you in my prayers.

I hope you have a great week!

Kiara Buechler said...

The days are more happy than sad, that is so so good. When do you think you will test?

Our Little Fam said...

Maria, I have spent the past 45 minutes reading through your blog. You truly are amazing, without a doubt. I am glad that you commented on my guest post so I could find your blog. You are beautiful and I will be praying for you and Steve.

P.s. please let me know if you need any toilet paper! haha ;)

Ashley said...

Wow! 8 miles! You guys rock.
That mexican food looked amazing but I think I am too lazy to walk that far for even that! hehehe....
Sounds like you had good week and happy fourth! I am so glad!

I hope the "crazies" don't get the best of you this week.

I will be praying (still) !

Moosey Mommy said...

It looks like you have been having so much fun! :) Your Mexican food pictures always make me hungry, even if I just ate! lol I love your fireworks pictures. How fun! We only saw them from a distance this year. Our city cancelled them due to all the wildfires here in Colorado. A couple nearby towns had them, which is what we saw from a distance. Thoughts and prayers with you still. Hoping for good news!!!


Angela said...

Awe, you and your mama are adorable! That's awesome that you guys are so close. I miss my mom a ton...Glad you had a great weekend. I'm sure it helps to pass the time during the long wait until testing, spending time with great friends and family. I am praying for you!

Nicole said...

You really have been busy! I love that you have such a great relationship with your mom, it's such a a special one to have :) I wish I lived on the other side of PA, you and Kelly are always up to something fun and the photography class sounded like it really taught you a lot (I still need to learn how to use my long lens too).

Thinking of you, especially in the next week to come!

Vivian said...

Seriously? That's your mom! Sure she is not your sister? You both are just darling. And can I say how much I love that picture of you sitting on the curb with your cowboy boots? Keep on going. Move forward with faith and remember you are LOVED :) Have a great week!

JP said...

Seriously?! 8.25 miles? That is terrific, and apparently not a new thing for you. I have a question though - where is the restaurant in relation to your start point/car? Was the trail a loop?

I love the fireworks pictures. Looks like a fun evening!

Jessica @ TheCrazyChaoticHouse said...

Once again...Great pictures! You are always having a good time. And doesn't get easier, you ust learn to live with it {isnt that the truth}. You and your mom are so cute goofing around with the camera.

LOVE MELISSA:) said...

What great pictures!!! I love the life you live- always so upbeat and happy! You are one of the greatest people hands down and I am going to stalk your blog, because I know only good things are coming. Keep being the awesome person you are. A true inspiration you are! xoxo

Cami said...

You've gotten SO talented with your new camera :) GORGEOUS photos!

As always, you are so beautiful <3

Great fireworks!! Love the photos you captured!

Great job on your run...wooohoo!! YOU GO GIRL!

Your blonde friend looks like one of my friends - to the tee! They both have the same cute little nose!!

Anyways..I am praying for you! Praying this process goes AMAZING...I know it will I just do. God is so good and you are meant to be a mother <3


Sorry I've been so MIA from your bloggity blog blog <3

Stephanie @ Blonde Highlights said...

So good to be back! I've missed you! I actually haven't kept up with any bloggy friends in the past couple of months but would stop by yours occasionally to see how your road to pregnancy was going.

I am keeping my fingers crossed! I need a full recap post of everything. I will try to back-track but don't want to have missed anything.

I have been thinking of you! I know that you will be such a good momma and I am keeping my fingers crossed!!

XOXO... hugs to you, Steve and the kitties!

Our Journey Through This Lovely Life said...

What Fun!!! I LOVE all of these pictures! You and your mom have inspired me and my mom to go to a track! we are treadmill kinda girls but this weekend we are going to hit a track! :) and I think we may have to have Mexican food afterward as well! lol! I can't wait for your 2ww to be over! Thinking about you daily and always sending truck loads of prayers :)
Have a lovely week!

Annmarie Pipa said...

what lovely pics! good for you!

Anonymous said...

i'm new here but i'm loving your words and photos. can't wait to read more of your posts! following you now...xo said...

Thinking of you!!!

Michelle said...

Wow! You and your mom look alike. She looks awesome! I love Mexican. I might just go 8 miles for Mexican! Looks like you are keeping your spirits up. Prayers for you guys!

KERRY said...

I love love love you Maria!! I adored this post, your pics and your positive spirit and all your awesome quirkiness lol
You guys have so much fun all the time!! And my gosh, you ladies are fit!!!!!! I'm exhausted just thinking about it :)

Irish Carter of Dedicated 2 LIFE said...

I hope the week is ok for crazies or anything. I'm keeping prayers of hope for you and Steve as always. Your pics are beautiful as always.

Mostly, I wanted to say this----I wonder if you truly know just how many people you inspire with your positive energy and spirit. You are a blessing. A natural beauty. I should share with you that you have a new fan over here at the Carter's. It seems that for the last few weeks when I pull up others posts to read and comment and get to yours, my daughter finds her way over to the computer and has been asking me to scootch (spelling???) over because she wants to read and look at your blog. She is not a blogger but an admirer. She has become a silent fan of yours. = )

With love and prayers,

Irish (and Maddi)

Kristina said...

Love how close you and your mom are!! So special! Looks like a fun week! Xoxo

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