Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Fade Into You

"Fade Into You" - Mazzy Star

If it's possible to be extremely mellow while bouncing off the walls at the same time, then that - I am.
I didn't expect tonight to be a "fall asleep at a normal hour" kinda night.
I also didn't expect to feel so completely at ease.
I mean, there's only less than 7 hours standing between now and my appointment.
I don't mind feeling a bit blank as to what's about to truly take effect.
Because, I know that once these 7 hours pass, the emotions, the memories, even some flashbacks...
They will all start rolling in.  I'll be ready for them.  I trust in that.
So tonight, I sit and watch my beloved Lifetime movies. I write. I take a bubble bath...maybe two.
And then, I try and get some rest.

I woke up today feeling kinda off and a bit yucky. There's been promising on and off activity on my right side.  So, egg(s), get to hatchin'.
We're ready!!
I'm taking it as a good sign. And hoping that tomorrow, we will get some answers as to when the next step (our IUI) will be scheduled.
This month is wasting no time at moving right along. It's funny, I always said March was the most boring, uneventful month of the year.  A slow, somewhat lifeless block of time.
Well, March 2012 has sure proved me wrong. And, I'm not complaining.
I got into quite a little habit this week.  You see that big bag of glorious sugar below...
It was much fuller a few days ago.  My mom sent it our way on Monday. Steve and I have been unwrapping like crazy.
Forget that most of it is two and a half month old Christmas candy...
I promise, it still tastes good.  Thanks mom - for the candy.  And for the new addiction. 
I don't usually get into chocolate that much.
But this week, it has been calling my name.

So much, that when I wake up and take my vitamins, I pop a few pieces too.
Hey, they're mood boosters.
And, they've got a little inspiration inside too.

Sweet words I've clung to in this journey.
Words, I'll be clinging to even tighter in the coming weeks and months.

Last week, we celebrated Addison's 4th Birthday one more time.
My gift to her...lunch at our favorite "old lady" spot for endless soup, salad and breadsticks.  And a lil' shopping spree at Five Below and Charlie Girl.

Back off my breadstick!

Kelly and I both agreed, this was too much of a "Mom" color.  We talked her into a new hue.

Decisions, decisions.

Chloe found the dvd she had been searching high and low for.

A day with this lady and her girls never disappoints.

Friday night, as we were heading out, a very full moon was shining brightly over our neighborhood.

We drove into the city to celebrate Vanessa's birthday.

There were lots of laughs and tons of singing. A mix of loud n' out of tune singing, with a few pretty voices mixed in.
We celebrated - karaoke style...

Sing it, birthday girl!

Steve, Matt and Doug...lovin' their enthusiasm!

I'm pretty sure this was "Livin' On A Prayer."

Even the Beebs made an appearance.

And yes, we said farewell, swaying back and forth, belting out "A Whole New World."


We took a day trip to Baltimore to visit Jamie and Leslie.  We're excited to hear happy, new baby news in the next week or two.

Tilly, rockin' her tough girl outfit.


Monday night, Kelly, Jessica and I got together for dinner.  4 hours, a few pasta dishes and a chicken panini later, and
 I had to break out my camera. I'll spare you the 25 "fashion show with a garlic knot and chili flake shaker" photos that Kelly snapped for us. But, here are a few that made the cut.

Okay, here's one from the fashion show.

I happen to think we look the best we ever have in this shot.

This one's not bad either.
Looking forward to another dose of Kelly and Jessica in the coming days!

This week, it has been unbelievably warm and beautiful outside.  It's going to be 73 degrees tomorrow.  I'm going to do my best to soak up the sunny weather 
and keep a positive attitude.
When we walk into that doctor's office tomorrow, I'll "trust my heart and not my head."
And I'll allow myself to feel any emotion that comes my way.

I'm thankful for a mellow night.
And prepared for an emotional, fresh, new day.

Happy Almost Thursday. <3

I'll come back this weekend for some reflecting. <3

Bright New Lovin',


KERRY said...

Oh my, have I reached a hatrick on being the first to comment? I think so!! You usually have a million comments before I get here to visit with you :)
Have you done something with your hair recently? It looks a little different and I can't figure out why, it looks really, really great at that. And I am loving your new design around here too!
Those little girls are seriously cute!! I bet it's hard not to spoil them on a day out shopping!
Good luck tomorrow, I will be thinking of you guys. Stay strong, lots of love and hugs xoxox

Carlia said...

good luck at your appt!!! and isn't chocolate like twinkies - it never goes bad? ;) either way, it definitely makes vitamins taste better!

Kelly @ Stay at Home Trader said...

i woke up thinking about you, and starting with a quiet prayer for the appointment today. i know you are so more than ready for this. and i'm excited to hear about it!

charming charlies looks so cute, and i love the pics of addison, chloe, and kelly in that store. i can't wait to check it out someday! i love the pix of the girls picking out stuff. you can tell they love that. adorable!!

um...and your sunglasses are adorable! i wish my nose wasn't such a honker, so i could pull something off like this hahahahaha!

UMMMMMMM the pictures of karaoke are HILARIOUS!!!! steve, matt, and doug are sooo into it! LOLLLLLLL!!!

and you know i love jess & kelly! so glad you've had some time to see them, and calm your nerves before this crazy week and new chapter.

keep on eatin' that chocolate for me! i can't have that in my house. but, i've been jonesin' for some dove love <3

miss you girl! can't wait to hear about everything!



Camille said...

OOo Maria...may God strengthen you today for your appt (you may have already had it?). You are such a light to all. Your joy and ability to see the good is amazing.

Your life seems so full too...I don't know if you know how much others see that. All of your pictures with friends and family. You have such an amazing amount of love in your life. I think that you are a loving just finds its way to you.

Cheers, lady. xo.

lovejoy_31 said...

Ok Maria, now I'm pooping. LOL!!!!! Forget popping, pooping it is....hopefully no one else reads this comment, but if they do, I'll blame it on you!!!!! LOL!!! Love to both you and Steve today and I hope that this month works and if not, know that you will have the support and love from a LOT of people. Praying good thoughts for you today.

Anonymous said...

You and I have such similar taste in music... love this song... fade into you, beautifully moody. I have a very strong/positive feeling for you this day!! Please let us know how it all went for you. Hugs and you'll continue to be in my prayers. T

mag said...

doooooooood. LOVING this post, and that you are feeling some calmness right now. I'm so super excited about this week/next week/month of March. My brain thinks we may be somewhat cyling together? hmm hmm hmm!!!!!

I'm at work so I have to make this short and sweet. I have you in my prayers and thoughts almost every minute of the day. You are amazing, strong, beautiful, and you are one of the most genuine people I know. You are so deserving of the miracles of life, and I cannot wait to see how this all unfolds.

<3 you! Good luck today!!!!

Aleisha McD said...

Thinking about you, Lover, today and always! Hope the appointment goes well. Can't wait to hear more and more about this next chapter in your life! It's all so exciting! I'm sure it will be wonderful, and I'm sure you'll be tremendously blessed. You certainly deserve good things in your life! AAAHH!!!! Charming Charlie's looks like fun!!!! I MUST go there!!! Your red sunglasses were making me drool! Ha! Gorgeous!!! What a great post with lots of lovely pictures. The city pics were purty too! Lots o' love to you, TacoEggHead!!!!!

M said...

Good luck at your appointment - can't wait to hear what the future holds for you guys!

Oooh...chocolates with prenatals...maybe that will keep me in the habit of taking them every day :)

Brittany said...

Good luck at your appointment, sweet Maria!! Thinking about and praying for you today. Love that you are OD'ing on candy...that's my girl! :)

Charming Charlie's is my favorite! Those sunglasses look fabulous on you!

How cute are your kitties?!?! Precious.

Can't wait for an update!! Sending lots of love and happy thoughts your way.

Jessica @ TheCrazyChaoticHouse said...

Good Luck!!!!!!!!!! Hoping all goes well and keeping my fingers crossed:))

waitingforarainbow said...

I KNOW EXACTLY how you felt last night. Being crazy overwhelmed, and also completely calm at the same time. I have known that feeling a few times in my life as well. I hope you eventually got some sleep last night!!
Good for you for eating all of that chocolate! That bag looks so yummy. Maybe you're a chocolate vampire??
Those pictures of the guys singing had me laughing so hard. I can totally see living on a prayer in the one picture.... haha perfect!
I'm eager for your next post!! Hope today is going perfectly perfect and your appointment leaves you in good spirits!
love ya lots ~ Heather Michelle

~Jess said...

Praying all is going well. I used to say that November was the worst month...then I got married and had A, both in November lol

Ashley said...

Thinking of you today and hoping your appointment went well! You are on the sweetest, most encouraging people I have "met" and wish nothing but the best for you, because you deserve it. :)

That Charming Charlie store looks adorable! We don't have one around here... we have nothing! :)

p.s. I love how you said your beloved lifetime movies! I probably have about ten recorded on my dvr right now just waiting to be watched!

Irish Carter of Dedicated 2 LIFE said...

Good luck with everything Maria...I wish you the best and hope everything goes exactly as planned. = ) As usual, you have created the most beautiful and inspirational post. So REAL and fun.

Wishing you the best. = D


Gumdrop Pass said...

I can't wait to hear how today went -- you're right -- everything is going fast now. What a ride, enjoy it! :)

Umm....I LOVE the karaoke pictures HI-LARIOUS. :)

Prayers and love sent your way, girlie! :)

<3 Stephanie

Maria said...

I am so excited for you! Sending you tons of baby vibes! So looking forward to watching you embark on this very special journey to motherhood. (((hugs))) Lots of <3 and baby dust!

Cami said...

Your silly photos seriously crack me up. LOL I love it :) You are so full of life!

Looks like a great time you've been having. You deserve that chocolate! (Hey, as long as you take your vitamins, too...I don't see why not!!)

I am super excited for you...hope March 2012 proves to be the best March EVER for you <3

LOVE MELISSA:) said...

So how did it go? Please update! I am thinking about you constantly and I am praying. I even got Hayls praying with me! I am so excited for you and know it will all be terrific!

Rachel Marie said...

Girl I am praying you get the good news you've been wanting. I've been reading your posts for awhile and I've seen all the struggles, and you deserve the best :) And as always, wonderful picture. I'm a bit jealous :) I need a better camera, mine for a Nikon is so crappy. If I move even the littlest bit the picture is blurry :(

Heather Nelsen said...

Love your "vitamin" pic! Awesome!! You are too cute!

Judy Haughton-James said...

Hi Maria,
I hope step by step everything will work out for you. Keep the positive vibes going! Love all the beautiful pictures. It is good that you get to have so many fun times with friends. Take very good care of yourself and my best wishes to you. Have a very special weekend. Lots of Love & Friendship coming all the way from Jamaica!

Megan Powell said...

I can't wait to hear how your appointment went. And I can't wait to follow this next chapter of your life. I am so excited for you and Steve! said...

Here's to a good appointment and following your heart!!! Hugs and prayers always, Kerstin

Jennifer McLean said...

Following you through GFC! You have a lovely family and blog!
Jenn of

Crystal said...

Following here too! I also live in PA,loving your blog!

Birgit said...

Hi Maria,

I been following your blog since I was pregnant with my 5 month old. I read your story on the WTE website and was completely taken by it.

--- I hope you will understand everything I'm writing, since English is not my 1st language.---

I will try to keep this as short as possible.
I also had a miscarriage 8 years ago and had a hard time getting over it and get pregnant again. When I found out I was pregnant with my now 2 year old, I was in complete disbelieve.

I was scarred the whole pregnancy that I would loose her, but everything went well. Then I turned up pregnant with my 5 month old!!!! A complete shock. It didn't take much to conceive her at all. Again I was trying to do anything in my powers to keep my unborn save and was worried the whole time.

I thought it was my fault that I lost the baby so many years ago, eventho the doctors insured me that the baby just stopped growing and then passed away.

Still to this day I feel the pain of loosing my angel. She will always be with me (I believe it was a girl, I was not far along enough to tell).

So, why am I writing on your blog? Someone who doesn't even know you?

Well, I gave up and then was blessed with my little one!!!

I have an idea on how you feel and I wish you all the best for your IUI.
Don't give up hope and faith, I wish that one day you will hold your precious baby in your arms and will be able put these hard times (doctor appointments) behind you.
You are an amazing women and you are an inspiration. You soooo deserve to happy.
I'm wishing you and your husband all the best.
Praying for you.
Good luck.


Kathy Radigan said...

Sending you so much love as you embark on this journey!! You are such an amazing lady!! xo

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