Come A Little Closer

"Come A Little Closer" - Dierks Bentley

January has sure been showin' me what it's made of.

Or maybe - I've been showin' it what I'm made of.

I'll settle for a little bit of both.

Lately, though, I've been kinda feeling like this...

And a lot like this...

Yea, that was me about an hour ago.  I'm a zombie.  A zombie/vampire.

A wacky-doodle nighttime lova'. (okay, really bad choice of words...not that kind)

But, I adore the night.  I always have.  However, my sleep patterns are CAH-RAY-ZEEE this month.

To the point, where even I'm starting to wonder.  Last night, I started feeling unusually sleepy around ten.  So, I did what most normal people would do, and went right to bed.  Only, I woke up after midnight feeling full of energy and unable to fall back asleep.

And here I am...

Awake.

Many people ask me what I do at such hours.

I read. I listen to music. I pray. I watch movies. I hang out with the fluffies. I write. I take bubble baths. I do crazy things like - decide to try out that spray tanner I've had for months, and spray down my left leg - only to wake up with a scary, speckled, orange thigh that will last me 5 days.

It all brings me peace (okay, minus the orange thigh).  And it's the best time for me to sort things out. 

 Reflect and process.

Indulge.

Like tonight, with a cup of dark hot chocolate and a way-too-good-to-not-eat-the-whole-bar-Utah truffle.

Big zombie SHOUT OUTS and sugary THANKS to Utah's own - "Mama Leisha"!!

Look out for her in future posts.

Aleisha - it was better than an ice cold can of diet coke!!

Muffin sippin' some cocoa.

And my dinner beforehand...

(that complimented chocolate bars and chocolaty drinks so well)

Salad and Sushi

***

Now that I've rambled on and on,

I will get to my point.

I am tired. 

Sound a little contradictory?

Maybe.

See, I know I can't be a super cool vampire every single night of the week.  I also know it felt super awesome to fall asleep with Steve this weekend and sleep through the night.  I know with some of the happenings of this month and the loss of my Nani - things have been a little out of sorts.

And it's okay.  That's life. We roll with the punches. We take that time to deal and heal. It's so important.

But just as important, soon - it's time to start focusing in on things.

Big and wonderful things like THIS. 

And before we can, we need to focus on us.  

This past month has been a whirlwind of emotions.  That - I am used to.

But I miss my husband this month.  I know we're lucky to see each other every day. And spend time together.  Heck, I can't even remember a fight or bickering session we've had recently. (Except the other night, when the last words I said to him were, "You're a turd!" before he went to bed.)

Still...

We need to relax together.

We need to be us together.

We deserve to be.

And to take that time.

Then, comes more baby steps.

<3

"I wanna be stronger than we've ever been."

***

I never did mention any of my resolutions for the new year.  I think because I don't really have any.

That sounds kinda wimpy, huh?!

You know though, last night as I was finishing up cleaning...one of the office's pictures caught my eye.

Balance - to bring into harmony the things that matter most in life.

And I realized - that despite my recent blahh days, and all the times I'm too hard on myself...

I'm doing just fine.

And if there's one thing you can never spend too much time on -

It's working on keeping all the good love in your life right where it should be...

Close to you.

(Wonderful dinner and times with Kelly and Kurt this weekend!)

***

* work on sleep - check

*  balancing love is key - check

* concentrate extra love on the Mr and I - almost check

Let's be completely honest here...

This zombie needs some major sexy vibes sent her way.

It's hard to feel sexy when you haven't shaved your legs in a week.  When you go to bed with toothpaste on your zits to dry em' out.  And when the month has tried its best to kick your booty...

it can leave you feelin' a bit yucky.

So, when I picked up the sushi last night, I made sure to pick up the newest addition of Cosmo.  

Um, Can you believe that's Dakota Fanning?! The little girl from I Am Sam?! (Go Dakota!)

(Gotta love the cover story titles!! My favorite-the one covering her bent arm.)

It's time to start primpin'!

We have a special weekend ahead.

Ohhh sure, go ahead and brag away, Mr. Twinkie!

***

"There ain't nothin' that love can't fix."

I'll see ya sometime early this weekend. <3

Wishing you balance and much love.

Hump Day Lovin',