Friday, December 2, 2011

Fall Into Me




"Fall Into Me"   Brantley Gilbert 


I keep on forgetting it's Friday.  I even keep on forgetting it's December.  Maybe it's time I flip over November's page on our "Fluffies of the Month" calendar.  After all, there's only 4 weeks left of 2011. (29 days, 5 hours and 2minutes to be exact)
One thing's for sure, this month is already zippin' on by.  It's close to 7 on Friday night and there sure is a lot going on inside this head of mine.

To collect my thoughts.  To unpack the crowded categories of emotions swarming up there.  To untangle them.  Assemble them.  File them in a neat and clean order...

Those are just a few of my goals for this first week in December.

I've been trusting my instincts as much as possible.  Finding out the beautiful purpose of the words, "TAKE IT ALL" in times like these.  We've been guiding one another. Together.  More than ever.  Taking that oh so precious time to be us.  Without the added weight.  Those extra pounds on our shoulders - they can be stubborn ones.  They don't just melt away.  No, they take effort.  They take teamwork.  A lot of love.

A truck load of patience.

"It's times like these when patience means everything."


If someone was to tell me last December (or the one before that) that Steve and I would be where we are today...
I don't know if I would have believed them all that much.

Where we are today...
It might not be where we thought we'd be in so many instances...
But this I know...

We're more in love than we've ever been.

The word, "devotion" has been taken to a whole new level.  And that brings on such a ray of light for what is to come in the approaching new year.

Two weeks ago, I was getting a spoon out of the silverware drawer.  Ready to stir some cream in my coffee.  And for whatever reason, I got that feeling.  The feeling like it was time to call our doctor.  Time to get some answers to our healthy, long list of questions.  Questions to help lead us through the next few months.  Months that will continue to forever change our hearts and lives...

and love.

We have an appointment on Monday afternoon.  I purchased a pretty lil' notebook at Target quite some time ago.  It's lines were once empty.  Words and questions too hesitantly waiting to grace it's pages.
The lines are now very full.
Awaiting those A's to their Q's.

***

Steve and I...
We certainly can't complain.  We've spent some amazing moments together these past few years in our marriage.  Earlier this week, we got away for a night.  One little day.  One little over-night stay.  Might not seem like much. But pieces of it were different than ones past.
It strengthened us.  It spoiled us.  It showed us what it's like to be in a place where your mind and soul can breathe.  When you take that time to recharge.
To concentrate solely on what is happening in that very day and night...
And nothing else.

I love this man.
I love him when we're together.  I love him when we're apart.
I love him when I'm being an irrational crazy woman.  I love him when he's being a stubborn, prideful mule.
I love him when he eats cheetos in his knee socks n' boxers and plays his LOUD video games.
I love all the love and pain we've been through.
I love him.
Always.

And I'm thankful for where this journey is taking us.


Pictures of the perfect end to November.



















***

December holds the key.  We believe it will unlock the door to more peace.  More hope.
Much joy.
We believe our shoulders might just be the lightest they've been in a long time. That they'll be fresh and able to carry on the new kind of weight that will be coming in 2012's first months.

We're looking forward to falling into December. 
Time to get festive.

Wishing everyone a happy beginning to a wonderful, magical month!!!


December Lovin',

24 comments:

Kathy said...

What a beautiful post Maria!! I so feel for you and so relate to your story. I remember Joe and I went to the Cat Show in the city soon after we stopped trying to get pregnant, we were determined to just have fun and do silly things that we had never done before. I also relate to being closer as a couple. I will tell you that now that we are in the thick of child rearing the time we had before the kids was so important!! I love you dear friend!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!!!

Maria said...

I am so excited for you two! And while I am almost ashamed to admit this... I will. I swear when I read that you were "guiding" each other... my brain said the word grinding. I was like, "Whoa! TMI Darlin'!" You know I love ya!

Kelly @ Stay At Home Trader said...

this made me cry! i feel like we are all going to get answers for things in december. i am so happy that you are going to the doctor, and i am praying that you get the answers you both need. it's amazing how the hardest trials in life bring you so much closer together. i love you to pieces! i just know that good things are coming to you guys. no one deserves it more!!! and i'm saying an extra prayer ahead of time that you get a SLEEPER or SLEEPERS!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOO

Kari said...

Love the post! I'm happy you are going to the doctor and I hope you get all the answers to your questions...and that they are positive, hopeful answers!

P.S. Love me some BG too! :)

Judy Haughton-James said...

Hi Maria,
I like how you take time out to reflect. You are very blessed to have a husband like Steve and I wish you both an everlasting love. You both deserve to be happy and I hope you will continue to find peace and the strength to deal with all that life dishes up from time to time. Take care and my thoughts and prayers are with you both. As I say good night from Jamaica I leave you with Lots of Love, Friendship and Best Wishes.
Judy

Krystyn said...

What a beautiful post!! You are always so uplifting and positive...I really admire that!

Rebecca said...

I LOVE your blue top. Soooo cute. I'm glad you are enjoying every day with your husband. Your blog makes me want to be a better person. I always read your posts and it makes me realize how much I miss out on because I'm angry over my infertility. I need to start living more like Maria and focusing on what I have and not on what I don't have! I hope your DR appt brings you lots of answer and opportunities. GL dear!

jenicini said...

What beautiful pictures! You are a cutie! :)

Carmela said...

Maria, you write the most amazing things. I truly am touched by every one of your posts. You take lovely photos, too. So glad I'm following your blog.

Lindsey said...

So happy for you two! I'm glad you are going to the doctor and I pray you have the outcome you need. Always here for you my dear. HUGS <3

Stephanie of Gumdrop Pass said...

Excuse me while I dab the tears from the corner of my eye... What a great post. You are SO beautiful, inside and out.

It's funny that I read this post today, after last night having a {crying, of course}conversation with Jake about how sad I was that we didn't have any time to just be a married couple -- I was actually going to write about it today, lol. I think that time is SO special, and it seems like you and Steve are soaking it all up. :)

An appointment on Monday, huh? I'll be sure to keep you guys in my prayers. I know you must be SO ready for all of your questions to be answered. Don't hold any of them back! It seems as if you're in a solid place going into 2012... I can't believe it's so close!

I hope you're having a great weekend, Maria! :)

<3 Steph

Stephanie @ Blonde Highlights said...

Those photos are amazing! You look beautimous... as always! It sounds like you are in such a great place as well as your marriage... what a great thing! :) Looking forward to hearing how the doc goes and keeping my fingers crossed that it goes very well!

Have an amazing weekend pretty lady! XOXOXO

Rebecca said...

Hey Maria. Just wanted you to know I gave you an award!

Mrs. E said...

I love all the hope in this post! You and Steve continue to amaze me with your strength. You are an amazing couple and I know you will be amazing parents. Love and hugs~~~ xoxoxo~

~Jess said...

wonderful post! Looks like you had a good time away. Hoping you get lots of answers soon and can move forward :-)

Diana said...

hey sweet thang.. so I gotta tell you. I just got out of the shower and I had a crying session in there because I started thinking of my grandma. lol. don't ask.. she's ok.. I just started crying. So I came to FINALLY catch up on blogs (on my phone..grrr!) and I am laying here in bed CRYING ONCE AGAIN at this wonderful post you wrote! You.. are..such..a...beautiful...person!!
I just cant say that enough. I LOVE the LOVE YOU AND STEVE show. I toally see it in the pictures how you two are MEANT TO BE. im so sorry and I hate that you guys are going through infertility still..but what I am glad is that you have such an amazing support from this wonderful man. I get all giddy inside when I see pics of yall. Is that wierd? lol. It's like I want to crawl in the computer and like get inbewteen you two and get in the picture! LOL. I am sick.. sick in the head!

I am wishing you ALL THE LUCK int he world on tomorrows appointment. Im happy you wrote down your questions. Ask away GF. This could be the beginning to something so beautiful. Go in there with an open mind. Take a deep breath and just take it all in. I'll be praying for you that everything goes well and that it's the start of a major step ahead.

thank you for your uinconditional support on my blog. you're amazing.

ps. its is really almost 2012!??! geez!! time needs to slow down!

Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

Girl you have a knack for beautiful posts! Sounds like you have a wonderful guy and he is so lucky to have you too! Your pictures are gorgeous! I'm glad you're just enjoying each other. Wishing you the best with your appointment tomorrow! Sending prayers tonight.

Aleisha McD said...

SO BEAUTIFUL, my darling friend! I LOVE YER GUTS! I'm sending an email your way. Soon, soon, soon! I promise! Been thinking about you. Wishing I could give you a squeeze! XOXO!

waitingforarainbow said...

It's music to my ears!! Hearing that you're going back to your doctor. I talk about you to Ryan all the time, and tell him how badly I want your dreams to come true. It's great how in love you and Steve are. You guys are an amazing couple, and it makes me so happy knowing that you have each other! Speaking of, is Steve going to be writing any posts again any time soon? Seems like it's been awhile since he has. PLEASE write a post as soon as you get back from the doctor. I know you don't usually write posts that close together, but I am eager to hear how it goes!

waitingforarainbow said...

I totally forgot to add.... those are breathtaking pictures. I stared at each one for 5 minutes or more. Maria, why aren't you a photographer? I mean, seriously. You always post the most amazing photos! Thank you for sharing them!

LOVE MELISSA:) said...

Gah, you made me cry! Tears are streaming down my face. You guys seem so in love and I am continuing to pray for all the best. I want all your wonderful dreams to come true. Can you please let me know how today went?? I am anxiously awaiting. I wish you all the love and support!!

Ashley said...

I hope your appointment went well today and that you are getting your questions answered. I will continue to pray for you, Maria!

Kerstin@TheRealHousewivesofIdaho.blogspot.com said...

I can't believe it's December either!!! I hope you got all your questions answered today. Thinking of you!!! XOXO, Kerstin

Judy Haughton-James said...

Hello again Maria,
Thanks for your lovely comments on my Blog. You asked for my email address. I wrote them in the reply on my Blog but I will share them here also - judyastra@gmail.com & jhaughtonjames@yahoo.com. Take care and enjoy the rest of your day.
Lots of Love always,
Judy

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