Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Nothing Like This


 
 
"Nothing Like This" - Rascal Flatts


Oh, sweet Piper...
  We just spent the afternoon together.  You had no interest in sleep whatsoever.   You were wide-eyed and ready for some fun.   And though your mama had a mean case of "baby arm" and was rubbing her heavy eyes, she wouldn't trade the special moments the two of you just shared for anything.
I love you, Piper.  How many times have I said those four words today?!  Forty?  Fifty?  I'm sure you'll hear it at least another forty or fifty one hundred and ninety-two times before the sun sets.

You're seven weeks (and a day) today.  Fifty-one days old to be exact.  But who's countin'?  
I am.  Oh, I'm countin' 'em, baby girl.
I'm counting your smiles.  Your pouts.  Your coos.  
  And more than anything...
 
I'm counting my blessings - a lesson my mama has instilled in me over the years.
 
 
Piper, you are my greatest blessing.  My greatest love.  My everything. 
There's so much I have you to thank for.  And I'll spend the rest of my life doing my best to show you just how very grateful I am.
 
 
Above all, sweet girl, thank you for making me a mother
 
 
I read through my past Mother's Day posts last Sunday.  (Post 1 and Post 2)
I thought about all that's taken place these past three and a half years.
I cried at the way life works.  And smiled at the way life doesn't sometimes.
 Last Mother's Day, I was newly pregnant.  I was on a high - certain that I would be bringing that baby home come December.  Certain, that there was no way, after all the pain and losses, that I would lose yet again.  But the very next day, your Daddy and I got the news that it wasn't meant to be.  We were devastated.  Scared.   So full of questions and despair. 
Oh, that so doesn't feel like a year ago.   I can remember the ache in my heart, the long, sleepless nights... 
 And the endless tears and loud cries that almost left me breathless. 
 
But as I sit here and type these words and gaze over the side of the bed, I see you - your little body sleeping soundly, stretching every few minutes
as you breathe out those sweet baby sounds.  Such music to my ears.
 
I see you and smile again.  Again.  And again, at the way life doesn't work sometimes.
I smile because you made sense of it all.
I smile because in so many ways, it feels like you were always here.
 
 
Piper, my daughter, the love of my life... 
 Thank you for teaching me every single day that keeping the faith will always be worth it. 
Thank you for making your Daddy and I wait.  Waiting was always the toughest.
But if it wasn't for all those lessons in patience, we'd never know the beauty that is
you.

 
 
These were a few of the words your Daddy wrote to me last Sunday, on Mother's Day.
 
 
 
 
And last night, before we fell asleep, we both looked at one another, scrunched our faces, shook our heads and whispered "Amazing!"  as we listened to you babble in your sleep.
 

 

Piper Grace,  you really are truly amazing.
 
I love when you wake up each morning.  I sit in bed with you propped up against my legs...
You stare so intently at the pieces hanging above us.  And I stare so intently at you.
 

Muffin, you're amazing too.  Don't worry, you're still my baby too.
 



And then you look at me with those blue, almond eyes of yours.  You give me one of your many, many faces.  And I just want to explode with happiness.

 
 
 
Amazing.
 

 

You love flippin' the bird.  It just cracks us up...Dee Dee, especially!
 

 
 
Amazing.
 
 
 
 
Amazing.
 
 
 

 
 
Amazing.
 

 
 
Amazing.
 

 
 
Amazing.
 





 
 
 
 
Piper, there are so many things I want to teach you.
Your Dee Dee has taught me so much in these past thirty years.
Though I wish I could say I retained all (or any) of the valuable lessons she taught me through my school years, I give immense thanks for the even more valuable lessons
she taught me about life and love. 
 
It took me a while to learn that those are the most important ones.  And now that I know, I'll never let them go.  I hold them so close to me.
 
Baby girl, I may not know where Wisconsin is. 
And I might not know who fought the Civil War (I'm serious - not a clue).
But I feel confident that I know how to love.  And I promise to teach you all about the greatest gift there is in this world.  
 
Times growing up weren't always easy for me.  But I always knew I was so loved. 
I pray you always feel the love, sweet girl.
The love that surrounds you each day and night.
 
 
I think about the fact that I'm a mother and I just have to pinch myself.  I say all the time to your Daddy, "Is this really true?!  Is she really ours?!"
It hits me hard.
Like, when I see Dee Dee holding you in her arms.
 
 
 
The way she used to hold me thirty years ago...
 
 
 
Like, when I rock you in the same rocking chair she used to rock me in...
 
 
 
Like, when she holds you close on her first birthday as a grandmother...
 
 
 
Just like she held me on my birth day...



It's funny...
Your Dee Dee and I - we're so different and yet, so very much alike...


 
 
I always thought she and my Nani were so different from one another.
 
 
Nani and I
 
 
But I remember a day shortly after Nani passed away.  I was over Dee Dee's when one of her childhood friends stopped by with flowers.  We all stood in the driveway talking for a bit.  Her friend began to cry as she left us with a few words, remembering Nani.  "Your mother was a good woman," she said.  "I'll never forget coming over after school and her making popcorn for us."
"She always had popcorn for us.  And I just thought that was so neat," she said as she took a deep breath and wiped big tears from her eyes.  I knew right away, without even truly knowing, that Dee Dee's friend probably never had popcorn waiting for her at home.  And that the after-school popcorn was so much more to her than just a bowl of puffed-up kernels.
It was then that I realized that my Nani and your Dee Dee weren't so different.
It wasn't just the fact that Dee Dee always made the most awesome lunches and fun treats for my friends and I (lunches and treats my friends and I still remember to this day) that got me.  It was the fact that Nani and Dee Dee both knew how important things like popcorn were. 
 
They say the littlest of things can make the biggest of differences.  And ain't that the truth.
Dee Dee teaches and displays that sweet and beautiful lesson every day.
And I hope to teach you the same, Piper. <3
 
 
My first Mother's Day was just like any other day with you....
 
Amazing.
 
 


 
 
Thanks to Aunt Kelly for the beautiful flowers.


And sweet vase.


 



  Your Daddy and I have watched this video a bajillion and seven times. 
And we'll probably watch it a bajillion and seven more.
I love seeing you two together.  You speak the same language.
 

 




 
 
 

Again, amazing!  LOL!
 

 
 
 
 




 



 

 
 
 

 
 
Piper, I've been beyond blessed in my life.  I've come across many truly incredible people. 
At times, I've felt love so deeply that I swore I could burst.
 
And then you came into my life...
I'm a mother now.
 I thought I had it all figured out before you were born - what this love of ours would feel like.
I realize now, that I didn't have a clue.
 
 Last Sunday night, while you slept on my chest, swaddled
tightly in my arms, I looked over at your Daddy with tears in my eyes and said the words I find myself saying each and every day... 
 
I knew I'd love her, but "nothing like this."



I love you, Piper.  You amaze me.
I'm so happy I'm your mama.


<3

 
I hope everyone has a wonderful week! 
 I'll be back with tons of memories from week five and six in my next post.


Crazy Lovin',


23 comments:

Rian Eidson said...

Oh, Maria!!!! I just love this post! Piper looks so much like you as a baby. And the video, oh the video!!!!! I just squealed and said "awwwwww" so loud. Such a precious moment!!!!!! And the pictures of you and Piper.....absolutely breathtaking!!!!! I hope you have a wonderful week with your sweet baby Pip!!! Xoxoxox

Kari said...

I love this post!! Miss Piper is SO adorable! Her facial expressions just kill me! She's so bright eyed and alert! Love to all of you!! xoxo

Mrs. E said...

Amazing is right. This post made me tear up, but in such a good way. I can *feel* your joy in your words, and it's wonderful. Thank you for sharing it with the rest of us :) I can't wait to see you, Steve and adorable, amazing, fantastic Miss Piper in person. (Little F asks about her every day, and C can't wait to meet her new bff!) I miss+love you guys so much. XOXOXOXO

Maria said...

Amazing is the perfect word. Isn't it amazing? All of it? Motherhood? It is amazing. Now I am off to sop up my tears from this beautiful post. :) Always thinking of you and so excited to come visit sometime this summer!!

Miki said...

Hi, Maria! Thanks for dropping by! I swear I was about to open your blog, too! And I've been thinking about you, too ;). I've just been quite busy with work (which is a good thing) and tad preoccupied about my dad; when I worry, I paralyze and become a different self :/.

But anyway, on to happy things! Piper! :D My, oh, my! What an adorable baby you have! And what a wonderful letter this is! I love to see you as a mom, Maria; it truly makes my heart smile :D.

Tight hugs to you all!

Kathy Radigan said...

Maria reading your post brings me right back to when I had my first baby 14 years ago!!! I'm so, so happy for you! When I first met you and we shared our stories this is what I had prayed and hoped would be your happy ending and very happy new beginning!! Much love!!!

mail4rosey said...

I love the video, awww!! And I love the pictures. And I love that you had a Happy Mother's Day. And I love this post. :)

What a little sweet baby girl. She's a beauty too.

E and R said...

This is how I feel about Lexi - still, to this day, 16 months later. I can't believe she is mine and that I get to be her mommy. Even on the hard days, I marvel at how blessed I am that she is here and that I get to call her my daughter. I hope that feeling never goes away....even in the dreaded teenage years!
The love and gratitude you feel is palpable. Have a beautiful week with your gorgeous daughter!

Rachel said...

It looks like you had the most amazing Mother's Day. She is so darn cute! I hope you had a wonderful and very blessed Mother's Day!!

Katharine (LauraKat81) said...

First of all....thanks again for making me cry at work. ;)

But seriously, thank you for sharing all the good things. You leave me with nothing but excitement, joy, and hope for the day I meet my own sweet little girl!

((((HUGS))))

Kat said...

You guys are the sweetest friends and family ever. There's so much love and happiness in your life and you deserve all of it. Cherish every moment you have with sweet, little Piper. Word on the street is that they grow up REALLY fast.

beckyj @ A Lazy Crazy Life said...

What a moving, heartfelt post. I loved it--especially about how you pray she always feels loved. I feel the same way.

Judy Haughton-James said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Judy Haughton-James said...

Wonderful post Maria! I knew that this past Mother's Day was going to be so special for you and I am glad that you have lived to experience all this happiness. Beautiful pictures as always.Piper looked so much like you as a child. It is great that you have so many wonderful memories of your childhood with your mother and grandmother. Continue to have good times Maria. Lots of Love, Friendship and Best Wishes to you, Steve and Piper.

I'll Love You Forever said...

Maria,
You are such a beautiful writer. I am always captured after the first sentence. You are such an amazing person. I love how I feel I know you through your writing! Piper, dear sweet baby girl, you are so beautiful and so blessed! Love you all!
xoxo
Ashlee

Alex[andra] said...

Once again, you've brought tears to my eyes. I can't help but feel anything but love when you talk about darling Piper. I'm so happy that she has such a loving and wonderful family. The pictures are just precious. I love the vase! Also, Berenstain Bears were my favourite books as a kid! That's a very appropriate choice. :)

Lots of love! <3

Tami said...

Hi Maria. As always, your post made me cry (in a good way). I am enjoying watching you blossom as you talk about your daughter. You are blessed to be surrounded by a lovely family. {{HUGS}} to you my friend.
xoxo

Noel Marie said...

Such sweet, heartfelt words you write to your baby girl...she's incredibly lucky to have you! I love the pictures with you and her on the floor, I can just imagine her coos...how did my own cooing girl become a talking toddler so soon? Every moment is a gift! Beautiful!

Brittany said...

Oh my goodness, Maria...of all the beautiful posts you've written (really, REALLY beautiful!), I think this has to be my very favorite. It really touched me! You have such an amazing way with words. And, well, the pictures of Piper don't even need words to speak volumes...they are PRECIOUS! I seriously can't get enough of her sweet face! My favorite is the naked (milk belly) diaper picture with her arms stretched out over her head...oh my goodness. I seriously couldn't stop giggling. Sweet baby girl!! She is such a doll. I bet your Mom cried when she read this post...she sounds like the most amazing woman and Momma and you are certainly following in her footsteps. It looks like you fixed her up the neatest Mother's Day gift, too! I love the card you made her! haha! The video, cuteness overload, I had to watch it three times. She is seriously the cutest, sweetest, most beautiful baby girl I've ever seen. Much like her Momma! So glad you and DeeDee had a wonderful Mother's Day :).
Hope y'all have a great weekend! It feels like I was just telling you that...where do the weeks go?! Can we freeze time please, and keep our babies this little forever? :( so bittersweet! Kiss that angel baby Piper for us please :)
-Britt & Bear

Olivia {The more I see the less I know} said...

That video of Piper and Steve- I LOVE IT! So funny and so adorable :)

It makes me so happy to see you so happy. I couldn't help but smile through the whole blog post :)

Sometimes things feel too good to be true don't they? But it is TRUE! :)

Jess @ LifeintheWhiteHouse.com said...

Such a blessing they all are :-)

She's absolutely a cutie patootie! Love the faces she makes!

Whitney Cypert said...

Piper is one lucky girl to be loved so much! And you are one lucky momma to have such a beautiful baby girl! I love all of the pictures, she makes the cutest/funniest faces. I bet you could just stare at her all day long! I laughed at you getting "baby arm", I have definitely gotten "cat arm" before! I hope you had a great Memorial Day weekend sweetie!

Kerry said...

That last picture of you & Piper Maria is so beautiful!! Piper is so blessed to have so many wonderful people in her life, you can see all the love in all of your pictures :)
She looks like you, there are so many facial expressions where I see you in her. She is so lucky to have you and Steve as her parents and such an awesome Grandmother too!!
It is so great to see you both in such a happy place, life couldn't be any better right now, am I right?

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