"Nothing Like This" - Rascal Flatts
Oh, sweet Piper...
We just spent the afternoon together. You had no interest in sleep whatsoever. You were wide-eyed and ready for some fun. And though your mama had a mean case of "baby arm" and was rubbing her heavy eyes, she wouldn't trade the special moments the two of you just shared for anything.
I love you, Piper. How many times have I said those four words today?! Forty? Fifty? I'm sure you'll hear it at least another forty or
fifty one hundred and ninety-two times before the sun sets.
You're seven weeks (and a day) today. Fifty-one days old to be exact. But who's countin'?
I am. Oh, I'm countin' 'em, baby girl.
I'm counting your smiles. Your pouts. Your coos.
And more than anything...
I'm counting my blessings - a lesson my mama has instilled in me over the years.
Piper, you are my greatest blessing. My greatest love. My everything.
There's so much I have you to thank for. And I'll spend the rest of my life doing my best to show you just how very grateful I am.
Above all, sweet girl, thank you for making me a mother.
I thought about all that's taken place these past three and a half years.
I cried at the way life works. And smiled at the way life doesn't sometimes.
Last Mother's Day, I was newly pregnant. I was on a high - certain that I would be bringing that baby home come December. Certain, that there was no way, after all the pain and losses, that I would lose yet again. But the very next day, your Daddy and I got the news that it wasn't meant to be. We were devastated. Scared. So full of questions and despair.
Oh, that so doesn't feel like a year ago. I can remember the ache in my heart, the long, sleepless nights...
And the endless tears and loud cries that almost left me breathless.
But as I sit here and type these words and gaze over the side of the bed, I see you - your little body sleeping soundly, stretching every few minutes
as you breathe out those sweet baby sounds. Such music to my ears.
I see you and smile again. Again. And again, at the way life doesn't work sometimes.
I smile because you made sense of it all.
I smile because in so many ways, it feels like you were always here.
Piper, my daughter, the love of my life...
Thank you for teaching me every single day that keeping the faith will always be worth it.
Thank you for making your Daddy and I wait. Waiting was always the toughest.
But if it wasn't for all those lessons in patience, we'd never know the beauty that is
These were a few of the words your Daddy wrote to me last Sunday, on Mother's Day.
And last night, before we fell asleep, we both looked at one another, scrunched our faces, shook our heads and whispered "Amazing!" as we listened to you babble in your sleep.
Piper Grace, you really are truly amazing.
I love when you wake up each morning. I sit in bed with you propped up against my legs...
You stare so intently at the pieces hanging above us. And I stare so intently at you.
Muffin, you're amazing too. Don't worry, you're still my baby too.
And then you look at me with those blue, almond eyes of yours. You give me one of your many, many faces. And I just want to explode with happiness.
You love flippin' the bird. It just cracks us up...Dee Dee, especially!
Piper, there are so many things I want to teach you.
Your Dee Dee has taught me so much in these past thirty years.
Though I wish I could say I retained all (or any) of the valuable lessons she taught me through my school years, I give immense thanks for the even more valuable lessons
she taught me about life and love.
It took me a while to learn that those are the most important ones. And now that I know, I'll never let them go. I hold them so close to me.
Baby girl, I may not know where Wisconsin is.
And I might not know who fought the Civil War (I'm serious - not a clue).
But I feel confident that I know how to love. And I promise to teach you all about the greatest gift there is in this world.
Times growing up weren't always easy for me. But I always knew I was so loved.
I pray you always feel the love, sweet girl.
The love that surrounds you each day and night.
I think about the fact that I'm a mother and I just have to pinch myself. I say all the time to your Daddy, "Is this really true?! Is she really ours?!"
It hits me hard.
Like, when I see Dee Dee holding you in her arms.
The way she used to hold me thirty years ago...
Like, when I rock you in the same rocking chair she used to rock me in...
Like, when she holds you close on her first birthday as a grandmother...
Just like she held me on my birth day...
Your Dee Dee and I - we're so different and yet, so very much alike...
I always thought she and my Nani were so different from one another.
Nani and I
But I remember a day shortly after Nani passed away. I was over Dee Dee's when one of her childhood friends stopped by with flowers. We all stood in the driveway talking for a bit. Her friend began to cry as she left us with a few words, remembering Nani. "Your mother was a good woman," she said. "I'll never forget coming over after school and her making popcorn for us."
"She always had popcorn for us. And I just thought that was so neat," she said as she took a deep breath and wiped big tears from her eyes. I knew right away, without even truly knowing, that Dee Dee's friend probably never had popcorn waiting for her at home. And that the after-school popcorn was so much more to her than just a bowl of puffed-up kernels.
It was then that I realized that my Nani and your Dee Dee weren't so different.
It wasn't just the fact that Dee Dee always made the most awesome lunches and fun treats for my friends and I (lunches and treats my friends and I still remember to this day) that got me. It was the fact that Nani and Dee Dee both knew how important things like popcorn were.
They say the littlest of things can make the biggest of differences. And ain't that the truth.
Dee Dee teaches and displays that sweet and beautiful lesson every day.
And I hope to teach you the same, Piper. <3
My first Mother's Day was just like any other day with you....
Thanks to Aunt Kelly for the beautiful flowers.
And sweet vase.
Your Daddy and I have watched this video a bajillion and seven times.
And we'll probably watch it a bajillion and seven more.
I love seeing you two together. You speak the same language.
Again, amazing! LOL!
Piper, I've been beyond blessed in my life. I've come across many truly incredible people.
At times, I've felt love so deeply that I swore I could burst.
And then you came into my life...
I'm a mother now.
I thought I had it all figured out before you were born - what this love of ours would feel like.
I realize now, that I didn't have a clue.
Last Sunday night, while you slept on my chest, swaddled
tightly in my arms, I looked over at your Daddy with tears in my eyes and said the words I find myself saying each and every day...
I knew I'd love her, but "nothing like this."
I love you, Piper. You amaze me.
I'm so happy I'm your mama.
I hope everyone has a wonderful week!
I'll be back with tons of memories from week five and six in my next post.