Find Yourself

"Find Yourself" - Brad Paisley

There was a day last February, that reminds me of the first time I heard these lyrics...

I was babysitting a sweet little boy.  We were in between making a pretend mushroom and pepperoni pizza, putting a puzzle together, and watching "Cars."  I remember when the credits started playing and this song began.  I fought the tears and thought to myself - gosh, I hope and pray that someday I can hear these words and sing proudly, right along with him.

I was going through my fifth miscarriage at that time...my last miscarriage.

  I felt so lost.  I was scared. 

 I was beside myself. 

It's been a whole year.  A year since I've been pregnant.  One that would drag on sometimes, and fly by in others.

And now, I'm singing these words.

I'm singing them happily.

"When you find yourself
In some far off place
And it causes you to rethink some things
You start to sense that slowly
You're becoming someone else
And then you find yourself"

I don't have any big news to announce at this very moment.   

But, I have a whole lot of thanks for everything that's taken place this past week.

Take one day at a time...

I've learned it.  I've lived it.

And when the time is right - whether it be hours, days, weeks or months from now - changes will take place.

It will all work out.  I truly believe that.  With everything in me.

Isn't it funny what time teaches you?  Experiences you know are there waiting for you...ones that used to scare the hell out of you - now are seen as great blessings.

I will get more (way more) into this subject in my next posts...

But, lemme tell ya, I never thought I'd be saying this with such enthusiasm...

 God bless sperm donors.

We couldn't be more grateful for this experience after what took place on Monday.  And after a few setbacks - Friday, especially. 

Monday was easy breezy...too good to be true.

Tuesday-Thursday weren't too shabby either.

And when Friday hit, and we thought we just might have had it all figured out...

I made a discovery...

"Our guy" - he wasn't available any more.

There were tears.  Fears tried to creep back in without a warning.

Frantic phone calls were made. 

And in no time, after boo hoo'ing and talking to two dear friends, and a reassuring husband -

I was reminded to trust the beautiful lesson that has made plenty of appearances in these past few years...

I think these lyrics best sum it up.

"Where you go through life
So sure of where you’re headin'
And you wind up lost and it's
The best thing that could have happened
‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah that’s when you find yourself"

Friday night, Steve and I sat and worked together on the process again. It was enlightening. It was even humorous at times.  It was passionate in a sense.

And by midnight, we were so grateful we "lost our way,"

Because, sometimes...

you truly do find yourself.

***

I'm gonna come back in a couple days.  We'll see where they take us.

Thank you. For all the love.

***

Some fun photos from our week...

Muffin watched over us.

and kept us smiling.

***

Now, here's where the big laughs came in. 

The donor sites are pretty complex. Some even tell you celebrities your donor resembles.  It might sound "neat" but, it's tricky - the best way I can describe it.  You don't want it to sway you. But

when it says, "this donor resembles Bill Gates," it's hard not to get a mental picture like this...

in case you're wondering...that's him all swaddled up.

Don't get me wrong, though...I'd hug and love and cherish "baby Gates" more than you know.

So, I went and logged onto one of those "which celebrity do you resemble" sites.

The clinics, of course, use much more advanced technology and real people to make those comparisons.

But, I needed a laugh.

UMMMM, yea...

  First of all...I love that I resemble 4 men and 1 woman.  And that my biggest match is Danny Glover.

Pretty amazing, huh?! I felt like I just took an ab class, I was laughing so stinkin' hard!!

And, Princess Diana??! WT*!

And then Steve...I didn't pick the most flattering picture. But still,

*UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER*

Look at the second guy! HAHAHA!

Sorry, Mr!!

***

Veronica came to visit. Her and Muffin are in love with one another.

***

Me, Kelly, and her kiddos went to Kelly's for a fun day.

The babes were adorable together and had a blast dancing, starting a band, baking pretend cookies and eating chicken nuggets.

*Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world!*

I had to see what superstars the site would make of  us in this picture.

I cried from laughing so hard.  Though, I do see Kristin Chenoweth.

Ok, the 3 ladies, yes...I could see it...

But Colin Powell?! HAHA!

Hmmm...Really??! This site is busted!

Kelly, you definitely got the best turnout, girlfriend!!! HAHA!

***

A shopping day and Mexican dinner with Steve and Mom

And just one more...Sorry, Mom! All men! hahaha, I see where I get it from.

OHHH, this is horrible!  LOL!

Mom...I see Mick, I do! ;) But, you're so much prettier than Donald.

Danny Glover and Rod Stewart <3

***

Okay, I've rambled on long enough, my friends.

Have a beautiful Sunday night!!

See ya soon <3

Sweet Sunday Lovin',