Dear Baby Girl,
Tonight, I sit here...
Here, in your room. I've dreamt of this day for oh so long. If you only knew how very many days, months and years it's been - all of the times that I've longed to come in here - hoping this room would soon be filled with so much love. I remember days it used to hurt so badly to even peek in here - the emptiest room in the house. The one I always prayed to spend the most time in. The one I prayed would be full one day. Tonight, the room doesn't seem so bare. And my heart - it no longer hurts. Tonight, your mama is bursting with intense happiness. My eyes, crying tears filled with so much gratitude and overwhelming love for you.
The sun set a few hours ago and the house is so quiet and peaceful. I thought tonight seemed like the perfect night to bring in the very first piece of furniture - the rocking chair your grandpa gave to me last Christmas. In a few days, your daddy and I will begin sanding this chair and getting it ready to be painted. Your grandma (Dee Dee) and grandpa (Poppa) used to rock me in it when I was little. And tonight, I sit, rocking back and forth as I type - feeling your little kicks and moves that let me know you're growing stronger every day.
I sit here, listening to soft music - taking a break from writing every now and then to rub my belly and glance over at your precious photo - remembering that special day two weeks ago.
You are so beautiful, baby girl. I keep this photo resting on my nightstand. You are the last thing I see before I go to bed and the first when I wake each morning. I sit here, imagining what you will look like - what color hair you will have...what color eyes you will have. But so incredibly more so, I dream about what it will feel like when your eyes meet mine for the first time. I imagine what this room - your nursery, will become over the next few months. But so incredibly more so, I dream of the joy it will bring me to walk in here each day - seeing your little face - knowing you're here...you're really here.
Your daddy and I have heard that it won't be until you're born, that we'll be able to fully comprehend the crazy amount of love we'll have for you. And I guess that's why tears are streaming steadily down my face right now. Because we already love you so very, very much. So much, that you're all we seem to talk about these days. So much, that I sometimes lay in bed an extra hour just to hold my hands over my belly and feel closer to you. So much, that each night before your daddy goes to bed, he kisses my belly, says your sweet name and wishes you a good night.
You are so loved, baby girl. If you only knew how many extraordinary people love you already. We all can't wait to meet you. But for now, I will be patient and soak up every minute of these last four months while I carry you. It has been the greatest blessing of my life - to carry you inside of me. And tonight, before I leave this room, I will rock for a few more minutes, close my eyes and dream my favorite dream - the one where I imagine the first time your daddy and I see your pretty face and hold your tiny body close to ours. I know that will be the best moment of our lives. I know we'll look at you and whisper...
"I could hold you in my arms forever."
With intense love,
Ray LaMontagne - "Hold You In My Arms"
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21 (and a half) week bump shots
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend. <3
So Much Lovin',