Thursday, November 15, 2012

Dear Baby Girl (Hold You In My Arms)




Dear Baby Girl,
                       Tonight, I sit here...
Here, in your room.  I've dreamt of this day for oh so long.  If you only knew how very many days, months and years it's been - all of the times that I've longed to come in here - hoping this room would soon be filled with so much love.  I remember days it used to hurt so badly to even peek in here - the emptiest room in the house.  The one I always prayed to spend the most time in.  The one I prayed would be full one day.  Tonight, the room doesn't seem so bare.  And my heart - it no longer hurts.  Tonight, your mama is bursting with intense happiness.  My eyes, crying tears filled with so much gratitude and overwhelming love for you. 
         

The sun set a few hours ago and the house is so quiet and peaceful.  I thought tonight seemed like the perfect night to bring in the very first piece of furniture - the rocking chair your grandpa gave to me last Christmas.  In a few days, your daddy and I will begin sanding this chair and getting it ready to be painted. Your grandma (Dee Dee) and grandpa (Poppa) used to rock me in it when I was little.  And tonight, I sit, rocking back and forth as I type - feeling your little kicks and moves that let me know you're growing stronger every day. 
           

 I sit here, listening to soft music - taking a break from writing every now and then to rub my belly and glance over at your precious photo - remembering that special day two weeks ago.




You are so beautiful, baby girl.  I keep this photo resting on my nightstand.  You are the last thing I see before I go to bed and the first when I wake each morning.  I sit here, imagining what you will look like - what color hair you will have...what color eyes you will have.  But so incredibly more so, I dream about what it will feel like when your eyes meet mine for the first time.  I imagine what this room - your nursery, will become over the next few months.  But so incredibly more so, I dream of the joy it will bring me to walk in here each day - seeing your little face - knowing you're here...you're really here.


Your daddy and I have heard that it won't be until you're born, that we'll be able to fully comprehend the crazy amount of love we'll have for you.  And I guess that's why tears are streaming steadily down my face right now.  Because we already love you so very, very much.  So much, that you're all we seem to talk about these days.  So much, that I sometimes lay in bed an extra hour just to hold my hands over my belly and feel closer to you.  So much, that each night before your daddy goes to bed, he kisses my belly, says your sweet name and wishes you a good night. 


You are so loved, baby girl.  If you only knew how many extraordinary people love you already.  We all can't wait to meet you.  But for now, I will be patient and soak up every minute of these last four months while I carry you.  It has been the greatest blessing of my life - to carry you inside of me.  And tonight, before I leave this room, I will rock for a few more minutes, close my eyes and dream my favorite dream - the one where I imagine the first time your daddy and I see your pretty face and hold your tiny body close to ours.  I know that will be the best moment of our lives.  I know we'll look at you and whisper...

"I could hold you in my arms forever."


With intense love,
                           Mama



 Ray LaMontagne - "Hold You In My Arms"
(playlist can be turned off at top right on sidebar)
                                        
                       
 ********

                       
21 (and a half) week bump shots  

                               






Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend. <3



So Much Lovin',


38 comments:

~Rian said...

Oh so beautiful!!!!! I smiled and teared up reading this. She is going to be one very loved baby! Xoxo

Our Journey Through This Lovely Life said...

Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful!! I am so incredibly happy for you and Steve!! I can't wait to see the rocking chair!!! Lots of love my friend!
Alexis

Stephanie N. said...

Love love love. With tears tears tears! So happy when I read your posts! Can't wait to see the chair, room, and that sweet baby of yours! :)

Angela said...

When I found your blog not too long ago and started reading your story, I felt a connection to you because I could just feel how badly you wanted to be a mother, and I felt this overwhelming sense that you DESERVED to be a mother, and my heart hurt for you and all the struggles you faced. To read a post like this, to know that you get to feel and experience this pregnancy, it makes me so incredibly happy for you, and I feel like no one deserves it more than you. And I also cried, because I could have written this post myself...I sit here with my baby girl growing inside me, kicking and squirming in my big belly, and I completely understand how you feel in this moment. ENJOY it. We are blessed mamas :) So overjoyed for you Maria. Can't wait to see pics of that baby girls room!

MrsV said...

Ahhh your making me tear up! <3 <3 <3
I love love LOVE this post
oxo

Virginia said...

What a wonderful letter. She is going to be so blessed to read this someday.

Kerry said...

Just beautiful Maria! Beautiful words, beautiful thoughts, dreams and wishes. That little girl is going to be so very loved (already is) and I can't wait for you to hold her either!
Have a great weekend xoxo

Whitney said...

Love this! You are going to have to save these posts to show your daughter one day! You look so beautiful with that baby bump!

Melissa said...

Tears are streaming down my face. Your little girl will have no doubt of the love you hold for her .

Karen said...

You are so right, this baby is so loved by her parents already. She is so lucky to have such wonderful parents! xoxo

Jessica said...

This is so beautiful... Congratulations on getting to embark on such a wonderful journey. This little one will be born into a family of so much love. What a lucky little girl to have a momma like you. :)

Thanks for sharing. This gave me chills. :)

JP said...

Your overflowing love can be felt reading these words. Your baby girl is already so blessed to have such wonderful parents.
Thanks for your kind words on my blog. Your support means a lot to me. ;)

The Stitching Coop said...

I weep happy tears for you & your adoring husband. It is a thrill to take this journey with you and allowing me to peek into the personal side of this beautiful being about to become your blessed earthly angel. I'm so very happy for you both. I am touched & softely weep for you both, in joy, pure joy. HUGS and LOVE... Tammy

The Stitching Coop said...

By the by, the song Your are the best thing, by ray... dedicated to my hubs two years ago for our anniversary. Love ray.

Aleisha McD said...

Such a beautiful, emotional, heartfelt first letter to your daughter. One to cherish, one to invoke joy, one to share with HER one day. SO SPECIAL, Maria! I really loved it. Those bump shots always make me laugh and cry. I love them! You look so amazing and so wonderfully pregnant. It's your time; it's your turn. You'll be an extraordinary mother! I love you and miss you, my friend.

Moosey Mommy said...

What a beautiful post! I am all teary eyed, and cannot WAIT for you to have your baby girl in your arms. CAN'T. WAIT.

Jen said...

You are both so beautiful. Your daughter will know how cherished she has always been.

lovejoy_31 said...

Love it Maria! Beautiful baby and mommy. You deserve it..... Savor every second....

Jenny said...

Such a beautiful post, brought tears to my eyes.

ErinMSW said...

That is one of my all-time favorite songs. You look so beautiful, Mama!

Kara and Mary said...

Your little girl will be so blessed to have you and Steve as her Mom and Dad. I will be excited to see pictures of the nursery. I'm so happy for you both,

Ashley said...

Definitely had me tearing up! It really is amazing the depth of love we can have for our children. It is so overwhelming. I am so excited for you guys and what a lucky little girl already for all the people who love her so much!

Have a great weekend!

Kiara Buechler said...

Ooooh, ababy girl has a name! Tell us, tell us!!! Ok, we are keeping ours a secret from the blog and FB until she is born, so I guess I can't expect you to spill the beans yet.

Judy Haughton-James said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Judy Haughton-James said...

Wonderful! Everything is falling into place Maria. I know you are going to have a great time preparing the room and being in the room with your baby. Beautiful pictures. Continue to enjoy this very special time in your life. I wish you, Steve and Beano a great weekend. Lots of Love and Friendship always.

Tami said...

It is hard to imagine that you cannot have anymore love for that child then you do now. It's amazing how much more love you do have when you hold that baby for the first time. So much love pours up and out. It is the best feeling in the world. I know you will savor every moment. xo

Brittany said...

Oh my gosh Maria...what a BEAUTIFUL, heartfelt post. I love this song too! Your little girl is SO lucky to have you for a momma. She has no idea what an amazing life awaits her....and how blessed she's going to be. You and Steve are going to be the most incredible parents...shoot, I wanna be your kid! :)

Your bump...I diiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeee!! It looks SO natural on you! Like you were just born to rock the baby bump. I almost can't remember what you looked like without it, it suits you so well. You are absolutely glowing...keep taking all the pictures you can to document this time because I know Baby Girl Beano is going to love looking back at her gorgeous, glowing momma.

Hope y'all have a great weekend!! Eat lots of yummy food for that sweet girl!

Nicole Buckingham said...

and that, THAT is love.

Just "hopping" in to say "hi". I'm hosting An Aloha Affair today along with a group of beautiful women and I wanted to personally invite you. Come mingle, share and grow with us.

xo,
Nicole
localsugarhawaii.com

Krystyn said...

So happy for you!!
xxoo

Mrs. JRose said...

Absolutely beautiful Maria!!!! I can feel your intense joy and happiness and I know exactly how you feel!!! Crying happy tears because it is just so wonderful your baby girl is on the way and you have a piece of furniture in your long-awaited nursery!!!! Even after she is born, you will still hold her and look at her and almost won't believe how happy you are and that she is in your arms! There are times I look at Journee and I still catch my breath because we know what true miracles look like! So very, very happy for you!!!!! :)))))

waitingforarainbow said...

I have no words, this is simply beautiful in every single way. :')

Irish Carter said...

That my dear was one of the most beautiful letters I have ever read and your daughter is going to have the best mother ever. I love the love that you have and share for her....its so real and you allow all of us to feel it. Now, I need to stop writing....the movie Mary Katherine Gallagher is on and I am having a hard time writing a serious and sincere comment to you with Mary-Katherine in the background...LOL
Hugs.

Irish

Heather Nelsen said...

I have loved catching up on your posts, Maria! Congratulations on finding our beano is a sweet baby GIRL!!!! That video was precious. I'm so thrilled for you guys!!! You look beautiful as always. I hope you and Steve have a wonderful Thanksgiving celebrating all you have to be thankful for!!! :)

Love,
Heather

Cami said...

You just made me smile and cry all at the same time. You have such a beautiful heart...beautiful soul. Words cannot express my excitement and joy for you!!!
Wishing you, Steve & Beano (and family!) an amazing, beautiful Thanksgiving. I know I'll see a ton of pics after the holidays!!
I am thankful for you - for being able to know you and being an inspiration to me! oxoxo

Heather said...

Absolutely beautiful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jess @ LifeintheWhiteHouse.com said...

Isn't it absolutely amazing?! How you can already love and cherish someone you've really haven't "met" yet?!

Your belly bump pictures make me want to be pregnant again :-P You ARE beautiful!

Miki said...

Awe, this letter is so filled with love. I also find it soothing and can even picture your girl reading it as a teenager/adult and tearing up feeling how loved she was even before she was born ;).

Baby Rocking Chair said...

I thought tonight seemed like the perfect night to bring in the very first piece of furniture - the rocking chair your grandpa gave to me last ... ebabychair.blogspot.com

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