Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Take Me Away

"Take Me Away" - Tim McGraw

Is it really the last day of May already?!
I'm so off schedule, but what else is new...
This weekend was so jam packed with a little of this and a little of that, that I fell asleep at 8 last night!! Yes, 8!! What is happening to me? lol. I'm pretty proud of myself, even though it is, 4 in the morning...I got 8 hours of sleep, regardless. Yesterday, ended my gig of filling in for my boss. He called me over the weekend for a little more help, and I thought, what the hell, might as well. The past two weeks, I cleaned more than double the amount of offices I normally would over the course of a week. Hence, me going to bed at 8. Now, I need a massage and a vacation! :)

I thought I'd start the post off with the fun, light-hearted stuff and get to the deep stuff, after.

I organized my time accordingly and we managed to pack some play into each day. Friday night we went to dinner with our friends, Kim and Adam. They live a few houses away. They went to my high school and where Kim and I were friendly when we were younger, we are so happy we all have "rekindled" and have become great friends. Adam and Steve are "two peas in a pod" as Kim says. Kim and I just click and we have so much in common. We laugh so loud when we're together and we all share a guilty, secret love for taco bell...(sorry guys, the secret's out) ;)
We went out for seafood...lots and lots of it!! I wish I would have taken pictures of all the food consumed that night! The waiter needed to extend both sides of our table!! LOL, I'm serious!!

Steve and I <3

Kim and Adam <3

The 4 of us after our feast!

And of course, we had to take more pictures outside, lol
Me and Mr <3

Kim and Adam <3

Kim and I, strikin' a pose! <3

so silly!!

Monday, we went to a ticket run for our local country music station's upcoming anniversary concert. I know you all are jealous ;) The concert is free!! And they get the best acts. The catch...you need to win the tickets. So Steve, my mom and I went this morning in the blazing sun, got our raffle tickets and waited to hear our numbers called. Luckily, within ten minutes, my mom's was called and they gave out 2 tickets at a time. Steve and mine weren't :( BOOO HOOO! We are on a quest for one more ticket! I'm beating myself up for waiting till the last minute to get to one of their runs, but am confident we'll get another one, even if it means hopping to all the other runs and to good ole' Hooters, 45 minutes away. Hey, that's the location of one of their next ticket runs! :)
Lucky Mama! <3

Me and Mom

We all had lunch together, Mom came with me to feed the stray cats, ha! No cleaning today, just driving 25 minutes to feed office kitties. My boss paid me to, but I'm not gonna lie, If he didn't, I'd do it anyway. (anything for flufflies)! We made a few pit stops at the stores that were open and when I came home, I was pooped!

And a few more pics of the weekend...
Nicholas and hilarious faced, Gibson

ok, this is totally random and just funny
while cleaning one of the office bathrooms, I found an empty miller lt. can in the "sanitary drop off box" LOL...someone got their Memorial Day groove on a bit early! weird!

My brother and Steve, kinda matching...before their bro date :)

Sunday night, Steve and I decided we needed a date night. Time to slow down and just enjoy each other's company. We went to one of our favorite spots and sat in the lounge. Later, I went to the bathroom and there I am sitting on the potty and the song, "Breathe" from my last post is playing. I thought it was kinda funny and odd. When I returned to the table I told Steve, and he said, "You know, I was up this morning at 6, writing?"...I had no idea. He told me he woke up and just had this feeling that came over him, that he needed to write it all out. He's told me since last month, that someday he hoped he could get the courage to write a guest post(s) on my blog. I started to get teary eyed as Steve started pouring out all his emotions, that many a times, I know he keeps bottled up inside. He's the type to often, put up his guard, be strong for the both of us, say he is fine, when I know he's so far from it. It's gotta be perfect timing, for him to want to full on, talk about "our situation"...
I knew from the beginning of us sitting down, something seemed different. Good different. We aren't shy about being affectionate in public (NO, we don't make out at the dinner table) but he was being extra sweet, almost nervous. I said to him, "what did you do...what do you want?" lol
And he just poured his heart out. We have had our share of talks, revelations, and nights of tears...but this was different. He told me that he wrote pages and pages, that it felt so good to write...that it brought alot of feelings to the surface and something just clicked. He told me, he wants me to read it when he's completely done and then, post to my blog soon.

"My body burns like there's a desert deep in me
A thirsty soul so unsatisfied
But there you are like a river to the sea
The one chance I have to change my life"

Isn't it funny, how writing all your hopes, desires, fears, and insecurities, can just solidify things for you. How it makes sense of everything, once you put it all down.

Steve knew when I started this blog that I would be me...that I would be very open, vulnerable and honest. I never would have put it out for anyone to read, had he not agreed...out of respect. He told me from the night I wanted to start it, I had his blessing. But there were always a few issues, I knew in my heart, I couldn't and wouldn't write about yet, because even though he said, I could...I knew it wouldn't feel right and wouldn't help me in any way...until a night like Sunday. There we are sitting at a little cocktail table, jazz music playing, tons of people around, but it felt like it was just us. All those extra little pieces that can feel so big at times can flow now...Issues that even someone as open as me, find hard to talk about and work through. And I'm a bit scared, but so excited at the same time, to let them all out soon, in upcoming posts. To move those feelings to a place of peace...a place of closure. Steve, feeling the same way, gave me his blessing and knows how good it is for me...and more importantly, the both of us.

Our date

"Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped inside myself
Spinning wheels up and down, round and round
Going nowhere just like everybody else
With no touch, no sight, no sound" (Tim McGraw)

I haven't read his blog yet but when he is ready, I'm going to and soon, will post. He's a talker and thinker like me, so I imagine it's long but I can betknow it will be raw and beautiful at the same time. And I can surely bet it won't be country songs he's choosin' :)

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend and got to take in some sun and fun!! I'm praying for lots of answers and BFP's, for many of you in the upcoming week(s)!
*I'm 6dpo and hoping to get to at least another 6 days till testing.

Happy Tuesdaylast day of the month!! Make it a good one!

Looking forward to future posts, digging deep, feelings brought to life and feelings put at peace.
"Move me farther than I've ever been before
Show me that there's something more"


Friday, May 27, 2011


"Breathe" - Anna Nalick

Before driving home the other day, I went through some old cds scattered in my car, for a change of music. I found alot that brought me back to the times when I remember listening to them often. This song helped get me through a pretty big part of my life...
And I think alot of people can relate...

"'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe" (Anna Nalick)

I tell myself this every single day...

Just Breathe.

Whether it's during a heated moment, an awkward situation, a lengthy cry or just an average day in my life...

It helps.

Our two week wait has officially begun. Last month's 2ww went pretty smoothly and with a negative ending, I still felt ok. Whatever it is that's different this time, I don't know...but I want to know NOW. Maybe it's because I was a good girl last month. Maybe I'm trying to bargain with myself that I'm allowed to have one good month and one bad month. And if that's the case, then I get to be a little impatient.

Just Breathe.

I don't want to test too early. I really don't. Holding out to a reasonable day last month showed me it can save me from a bunch of yucko days. Previous posts prove I have the temptation in the house already...(darn free digital and leftovers from me being good last month)
I can promise I won't be testing till at least 10 days past ovulation but I'd love to make it to 12/13dpo. The very first time I found out I was pregnant, I actually waited to test on the day my period was due. How did I ever do that? And now, I sometimes want to break down a week early.

I think I may have been on candid camera the past few times at the doctors. Wednesday's appointment for IUI was a bit different than ones in the past. While the nurse walked us back to our room, I could see my doctor in his office talking to a young guy, probably a few years younger than me. I thought, "o boy, I bet an intern...watch him be helping today"... As they prepared the goods, (which the rn showed us a sample under the microscope, it was awesome...a whole gang of them zig zaggin' around) As I lay on the bed for a good 20 some minutes, we could hear our dr talking to him.

In walks our Dr and in walks intern. YAY! another fun moment for me and my hoo haa! He was a super nice guy and I actually felt bad for him. We could tell he felt a bit uncomfortable...I'm sure between the situation in general and my husband sitting right there. Dr introduces him and tells me the intern is going to "prep" me. Basically use the equivalent to one of those big chrome, spinny wine openers and get me set for the catheter of the guys! Mr doctor is a pro. He has great bedside manner. He manages to get the job done in the blink of an eye. The intern was shaking, literally. I mean, it's one thing to be a new waiter/ress and have your trainer standing over your shoulder while you read the specials to a table, or cutting someone's hair for the first time...BUT...doing what he was doing, with his mentor standing over him and a hoo haa in his face...not fun...not so cool...
and for me TOO! I was beginning to feel alot of pressure and cramps...

Just Breathe.

Steve came over to me and held my hand and gave me a sympathetic look. I kept concentrating on the butterfly mobile above me...counting, one lil, two lil, three lil butterflies...but those 6 butterflies weren't enough ...I needed at least 147...the intern was taking forever to get me set. To the point where my dr leans over and is showing him exactly what to do, and I'm like, "Hi, I'm hoo haa Marino...nice to meet you both"...luckily, my dr then said, "I will take it from here...I know this cervix like the back of my hand"...boy and I glad he said, "cervix"!! And then in a matter of a minute, it was all done. I really have no shame when it comes to this stuff but it was quite awkward with 2 guys all up in my business, having a conversation down there...

Yay!! Glad that's over with!

Thursday, one little day past ovulation...but such a sweet little day it was.

I spent the day with Kelly and her daughters. We shopped at Home Goods...Kelly pushing Chloe in her cart and me pushing Addison in mine. Addison helped me find the perfect gifts for Jessica's belated birthday. Everything was "Beauuuutiful" and "Ohh that's adorable"...she is such a smart, funny, awesome little girl. I told Kelly how nice it was to walk around pushing Addison while being able to talk out my thoughts and get some honest feedback. She told me, "those napkins aren't cute, Mimi...don't get them" lol. She even spotted the most perfect little gift that had Jess' name written all over it! In case you're reading, Jessica loved it, Addison! ;)

We chowed down at Wegman's and wiped our sweaty foreheads!! It was close to 90 degrees today...wooo weee!
Chloe enjoying a snack while we shop. She is the sweetest bundle of love! love the footies!!
my lover girls

Me and Kelly
<3 We went over Jess and Ed's for dinner and some quality Me and Jessica and Ed and Steve time. We laugh at our men. 2 pizzas ordered. The guys pick them up, come home and within 7 minutes, just as Jessica and I finishing gabbing in the other room...we find Ed and Steve with empty plates and a whole pizza already finished! LOL...It's kinda cute though...to see how close they've gotten over the years and to see 2 grown men, creating their characters on a wrestling game, eyes glued to the TV, throwing virtual punches and jabs Um, how stinkin funny is this...They created the beefymeatball version of themselves...it's crazy how much these video games allow you to really make a character look exactly like you

MeatSteve and Edball...and yes, if you look closely, Steve gave himself some vampire fangs...LOL...

The real deal

Jessica's Birthday flowers and gifts

Jessica and I sat and chatted and she opened her presents. I love finding the perfect little gifts for someone. I love how the littlest things mean the most. I joked with her, she wasn't allowed to cry at her card, because we have a ritual of crying no matter what, every time we read each other's card. We are so much alike. We appreciate the littlest details. She can take a tiny little box and find 100 different ways to describe it. We can talk and talk and TALK...hours can pass and somehow we've managed to start 27 different conversations but only finish 3.

Me and Jessica

I had to get a pic of this photo @ her house...Jessica and I 16 years ago...after a field trip w/our new shades...

Me and the Mr

Maybe it's the caffeine I had or maybe it's all the thoughts in my mind...but I could keep typing and typing...

I don't know exactly why, but all I know is it feels right...for me to write it all out...put it all out there...with nothing to lose. To be able to freely write about everything from my everyday occurrences, my goals, my dreams...to my heartaches, my funny stories and my most intimate moments...
they're all right here...
In front of me...
In front of you...

And it just makes sense to me...

"2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to"

Happy Friday <3 Have a wonderful and fun weekend... and when all else fails... Just Breathe.

<3 Maria

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Rain Is A Good Thing

"Rain Is A Good Thing" - Luke Bryan

It was really tough to find a song to compliment this post.
Especially when it has to do alot with these guys...
Ok, these are lights that are in one of the offices I clean...but you can't tell me they don't remind you of something...or maybe 2 things...
when I was vacuuming yesterday, I looked up and these were pointing down at me. It's funny how alot of this week revolves around...
Yes, I will say it...
*and you know what the 2nd thing is, that those lights look like ;)

*and as for this song...it has nothing to do with the post, I just love to make fun of it (sorry mr luke bryan) I don't care for it @ all but when it comes on, I leave it on, and do a little jig, usually to serenade and annoy Steve when we're in the car...hey, I LOVE COUNTRYbut does he really say, "Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey
Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky"

Yes, he does...
and I lol when he says, "washin" because it sounds like "warshin"...

I can't think of one song that has to do with sperm...but if you know one, whoaa...i'd sure love to hear it hahaha

I am happy to report that our doctor's appointment on Monday went well and there were no photos taken of anything but my follicle. :)
Yes, only one egg now...the 2nd one stopped growing. I wasn't too upset because I didn't ever expect there to be more than one in the first place, but it would have been nice if that 2nd one would have stuck around. They did blood work and my follicle measured at 21. They called me back later with results to let me know when our IUI would be. Isn't it amazing that from blood and a photo, they know exactly what day that lil' sucker is going to release?! They said Wednesday will be our day! Hooray for today!

I had to laugh when we were in the waiting room on Monday and this magazine was laying right in front of me. My girl, Shania, from my last post! ha!
Aww, thanks for the support, Shania!

Blanket and I...(my former wiping friend)

When we do IUI, I always get a little anxious the day before. Our doctor always tells us to not have sex the day before so Steve can be "extra strong" for the day of IUI. They've run all the sperm tests plenty of times before. Where there is a problem with the inversion being carried in the DNA, which of course is in his sperm...he has great motility, count and whatnot. So when doing IUI, I alot of times feel like, "wait, shouldn't we do it on the day before since it is supposedly one of my most fertile days?" Our doctor always reassures me that if we take care of business on the days prior, and "seal the deal" as he always says, the night of the IUI, we are good to go. Because from our fertile days before ovulation, those little guys can last up to 3 days with their quality and if the right stuff is going on in my body. I'm not going to lie, a part of me wanted to go behind my doctor's back and sneak in a quickie today. I even waited for Steve to come home from work and tried to seduce him with my dirty cleaning clothes, unwashed hair and greasy face. Needless to say, it didn't work! :) Steve told me we needed a break, to listen to our dr and he was sure there were plenty of em' having a party inside me.

My Dr told us we didn't need to use anymore ovulation tests as he had done the job of detecting for us. But when I was in the bathroom this afternoon, those sticks were just staring back at me, begging me to take a tinkle and give em a dip. (I pee in a cup and dip...I'm too splashy to pee on them)

And so I did...
the bottom one is today's. the left line is so much darker than the previous day and darker than the control line...which means, "get it on girl...you have 48 hrs to get busy"...

If you haven't noticed, all this stuff will make you crazy, or in my case, crazier. I actually have a journal in my bathroom, that when taking a bath, I write out the days and times we did the deed and then add and subtract the hours from the day of ovulation...to see how many hours are in between them and the egg release...
me is psycho. :)

I'd like to hope we have about 3 separate parties hanging out in my uterus already. Hopefully, alot are still awake and dancing to this tune, ready for action later! I am feeling extra twingey and crampy on my left side and have been for the past few hours. A sure sign, the egg's about to hatch.

As I mentioned, feelings of craziness earlier...
fertility issues will sure make for a truly interesting, wacky life. I find myself, who am already a very open person, talking about my day to my loved ones and that voice inside my head, thinking, "wow, is this really happening?" sometimes...
sometimes, you just have to laugh...because there are going to be days you will cry, you will get mad, and then you will cry some more...
As we were minutes from leaving the dr's on Monday, he asks us if we have a "specimen cup"...we say, no...and he says, "now you do!" with a big grin on his face. He is so funny. He makes us feel comfortable and laugh so much.

well, here it is...the specimen cup...

This cup has a way of bringing on some anxiety. You have an hour to get it to the office and with the appointment set, timing on the man's part is crucial. I really do have sympathy for the husbands when it comes to the process. I've mentioned in other posts, how much we've come to terms with the fact that this is the way it is. It really doesn't bother me, because when I look at the big picture and know somehow, someday, this all will have a picture of our family staring back at us...nothing else matters. We have plenty times of romance, we are deeply in love no matter what...and if Steve has to take care of business while I hide downstairs and watch the clock ticking...then so be it.

It's just funny to me, how I thought after our wedding, "ooo we will go on our honeymoon, there will be wine, flowers, sunsets, bubble baths and lots of baby makin lovin'...and boom, we'll have a baby"...

I thought wrong!!

I remember the day of our first IUI, in January. I'm pacing back and forth downstairs...Steve running down the steps, "Ok, baby...let's get a move on"...as we're 30 minutes away from the office. He hands me the cup and tells me my coat is warmer and to keep it in my pocket. HAHA! He had to get to work after so we drove separately and I'm driving pretty quickly, thinking to myself..."please, please don't let me get pulled over"...because I totally would have told that cop, "Look buddy, I have a cup of my husband's stuff in my pocket and unless you know how to perform an IUI, you better let me go!"...

When we arrive, the Rn always calls us back and whispers, "do you have the goods?" ha! I laughed so hard at our first IUI. I go to pull the cup out of my pocket and hand it to her, and Steve had wrapped a festive penguin paper towel over the cup...and the Rn just smirked and winked at me.

O the joy of it all! I am glad for these light hearted days...because I know and feel tougher days ahead. I feel emotions creeping up on us. I know of course, this is obvious...but I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HOPE WE FALL PREGNANT THIS TIME! Every time is different with how I deal with it all, including my emotions...and my heart is begging and pleading for that egg to catch one of those guys...one of the strong guys...to be the right match for once, despite the inversion. Gimme that BABY...please o please!

Hey, this song is good for something...
maybe Steve and I will take his advice and relive this song later...
KIDDING"Ain't nothin' like a kiss out back in the barn
Wringin' out our soakin' clothes, ridin' out a thunderstorm
When tin roof gets to talkin'; that's the best love we made
Yea where I come from, rain is a good thing"

Happy Wednesday Hump Day everybody!!

Ladies, All of you are in my thoughts and prayers as you take on your journeys! When things get tough, "start washin' warshin' all your worries down the drain"...

Gotta run...I've got an egg to catch!
and prayers to pray

Lots of Love,
Maria <3

Monday, May 23, 2011

Any Man of Mine

"Any Man of Mine" - Shania Twain

Come on' girls (and guys if you're reading)!!! Sing with me!! I know you all are awake past 2am, listening to Shania Twain, while your husband snores the whole house down!!

Who else is up blastin' hee haw country in their headphones at this time because they decided to take an 8 pm nap for almost 2 hours? I know I am!!

It was such a BUSY weekend!! More work than play...so I decided to have my own little party right now! :) I covered all of my boss' shifts over the weekend, while he was out! I spent most of my time, scrubbing, mopping, vacuuming, taking a trillion, take the trash out trips and feeding 3 stray office kitties 8 tons of cat food. I went to bed at 10:30 Friday night! (This happens maybe once a year). I finished almost all of the offices Saturday, came home and all I wanted to do was relax on the couch with Steve. Sunday morning we woke up early and helped our friends move into their new house. Steve was a sweetie and put on his SuperMr shirt and helped me finish my last few offices afterwards...and a couple hours later, I konked out! Man, I respect my boss even more...I don't know how he does it!!

Backtracking to Friday...we had our doctor's appointment. I have to say out of all of them over time, this had to be the most funny, awkwardly embarrassing appointments of them all! After our visit, Steve said, "Are you going to blog about this? hahaha I know you are...with a devilish smile!"
Yes, Steve...Yes I am...it is too mortifying and hilarious not to!

and NO everybody, get your mind out of the gutter...I didn't toot on my Dr! ;)

Friday, my famous "peace" picture before the Rn or Dr enters

It just so happens this little skit tells the details of our visit and the funny story all at once...

So ladies, we all know the routine at the OB or RE...

Rn - "Ok hun, undress from waist down and I'll be in shortly"

Steve sits down in seat on left side of me

Me -(As always)undress at the speed of light and hop onto bed/table, grab the neatly folded square that is my paper blanket and throw it over me, scoot my butt down, bc if you don't, we all know the dr is going to tell us to anyway...feet in stirrups, hands crossed on stomach and wait for the Rn to come in

Rn - enters room, turns light off, stands to right of me,"Hi, how are we doing today?" chit chattin away, as she knows us well now...starts my normal internal ultrasound to check my follicles to see size and when to expect ovulation. tells me which side is "on vacation" and which is active

*I surprisingly have 2 possible eggs on my left side and ovulation looks like it will be around Tuesday! Great, considering I'm on no meds again! I have always had internal ultrasounds...even when pregnant, because when I was in 1st trimester, the only way to see anything was with that o so lovely lil' attractive wand ma jiggy that I sometimes wonder, if gets more action than some hubbies do!? ;)

Ok, so this is where I start to get really, REALLY confused...

Rn - finishes measuring the follicles on screen, starts printing out pictures, puts the wand ma jiggy away (which has always been her cue to leave and mine to get dressed) But no, she then says, "Ooo wait, I'm so sorry...I forgot...I need to take a picture of your outside for the Dr"...literally says, "your outside" (maybe I should have understood but I didn't LOL)

Rn then hands me another blanket that is folded into a square (so imagine, it's pretty DARN BIG)...she then says, "here, while I get set up, I'll give you this to wipe off with" and turns to the corner where I imagine she's whippin up a batch of craziness!!

Me - thinking to myself, "MY OUTSIDE???!!"..."What does she mean my outside?!!" "Wait, is she really going to take a picture of my...(we'll go with HOO HAA...I don't care for the "V" word) HOO HAA??!!"...look over at Steve and his face matches mine...HUH??! with big smirks across our faces!

*Ok, I'm totally laughing out loud so hard right now while I write this!

Me - in a matter of 20 seconds, think to myself, "WHAT IS SHE DOING??????!!!!! Is she loading up her lil' polaroid camera to take a pic of me, down there!!?? Is she going to file this photo in some sick little Trapper Keeper of patient's "outside photos"???? and I guess this blanket is to wipe off all the 5,975 lbs. wand ma jiggy goo that's leftover??!...because I really need a blanket, not a tissue to wipe, right??!!"

SO...with the Rn's back to me...and a feeling of helplessness...

I sit up, look at Steve, shaking from trying not to bust out laughing and then...
with my tushy shakin in the wind, I half stand up and use this human sized sheet of paper to "wipe myself"...AWKWARD! WEIRD! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?? looking at Steve, cracking up!! steve dying laughing covering his face, like what's about to take place here? thankfully, it's at least somewhat dark...

Rn - turns around, me wiping away and she busts out laughing and says, "OOOO Noooooo hunny, that is for your tummy...I need to take a picture of your uterine lining and was going to do an outer ultrasound so you wouldn't get that pesky wand again...and I wanted you to be able to wipe off all the gel afterwards. But you can use it for that too!" MORE LAUGHTER

Steve - Slaps his hand loudly to his forehead, shakes his head and dies in laughter!!!

Me-OOOhhhh OOOOO OOOOOOO(remember that hyena witch cackle I mentioned before?) imagine that in FULL EFFECT!
I'm pretty sure the women in the waiting room were terrified of what was going on in our room!! It didn't sound pretty!

I think Steve must have imitated me at least 20 times this weekend!!!

I laughed myself the whole way home!

I AM A DITZ...I admit that 100%...but even Steve agreed, he had no idea what was going on and thought the same thing as I did!

ok, maybe we're both ditsy!
Thank you to that "Man of Mine" for laughing with me and not at me...or maybe a little bit of both :)

phewwww I LOVE pictures, but those I can definitely do without, THANK YOU!

Wow...ok, deep breath...

to rid your mind of everything that just took place, I thought I'd add this picture I took @ one of the offices this weekend...mr. squirrel was thirsty.

So after that whole shindig, we talked to our Doctor. He told us to come back Monday (today) and we will do another ultrasound so see if ovulation will be on Tuesday or Wednesday, like he expects. We are going to do another IUI(our 4th, so far) and are hoping that those 2 eggs both release. He told us to "take care of business" this weekend in hopes to cover all our bases and to use ovulation tests so we could really keep an eye on things. Grrr...I hadn't used them in almost 14 months because of how crazy they can make me and was proud of myself. I took the doctor's orders because deep down I agreed and I'm feeling aggressive. I purchased this $22 box of fun...(hey @ least it comes with a free digital hpt)

I used to use digital ovulation tests and after chatting with a few ladies about their experiences, I took the recommendation, that bc I was so close, it would be better to see progression leading up to it rather than possibly miss it all together with the digitals *thank you, katharine! :)
it's working!
when the line on the left gets closer to matching the line on the right, it means it's time to get to work!! when it matches or is darker, it's reallly time!! the top test is my Sunday morning and the bottom is Sunday night...getting darker!! :)
I never feel anymore that I need to use them because our ultrasounds tell us the exacts but because it could have come early over the weekend, the doctor didn't want to chance us missing it.

We have our appointment later this morning and I will definitely update once we have our IUI, sometime this week!

I'm looking forward to this week...getting stuff taken care of and the long holiday weekend! The beginning of the 2 week wait, which I will be nice n busy for. thankful for some good laughs now, that I might be needing again, in the near future!

sleepy, relaxing Sunday night w/that "Man of Mine"...we look tired!!

Ladies, next time you're at the dr's, remember...just say no to "outside photos"!!
I'm sure Steve and I...AND our Rn, will be laughing a bit later! If you hear a witch cackle, you know where it's coming from!! :)

Twinkie doesn't mind a photo. he has no shame...this picture is from last month but it is too perfect for this post!


Much Love to YA!!

ladies, any funny or humiliating ob/re stories you have, feel free to share or email me them :)


Friday, May 20, 2011


"Landslide" - Dixie Chicks

"I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down"

One of my Mom's favorite songs is, "Landslide"...
I remember always hearing this song when I was younger. I knew the words but was too young and naive to understand what she was singing about.

With having celebrated my Mom's birthday this past weekend and Jessica's birthday tonight, I instantly thought of it for my post. Everyone takes a certain message away with them from a song they love. Lyrics can hit home in so many different ways. Years pass, and I'm pretty sure the way my mother interprets this song, is the same way I now do.

Life is ever changing and comes at you fast. Life can throw some pretty crazy times at you. It can take love and life itself away from you without any notice.

It makes you change and grow up. It makes you learn lessons that will stick with you. As time goes by, you reflect on it all...
And where over time, so much can change within yourself and the ones you love...
And It Is A Great Comfort...
little Nicholas and Mom(at the same age as I am, today) <3

Mom and me...(whoaa Mom, find us both a hairdresser LOL)

We went out for Mexican food...lots of it. My mom, her best friend, my brother, Steve and I stuffed our faces with chips, salsa and fajitas and had a great night!

I was so excited to give my Mom her birthday presents. I had my friend Kelly, design this necklace for her from her new collection, Suspend Me
I chose a picture from my wedding and one of my brother and I when we were little and Kelly transformed them into this super pretty, little keepsake. My Mom loved it!! and so did I!! Thank you, Kelly...you rock!!

And another design of Kelly's...

I also had this necklace made for my friend, Marie. She has been there for me this past year without ever truly being in my presence. and I am so thankful.

One of my Mom's other gifts was one that I have to admit, is kinda a gift for me too :) We got her Alison Krauss tickets to Musikfest in August. My Mom introduced me to her music years and years ago and I fell in love instantly. I know it will be a fun day for us!
The tickets are being sent to us and so I printed out a photo as her clue. Her expression was...scrunched face, "Who the heck is that?" LOL she didn't recognize her in the picture.
Very much looking forward to it!


Karen Mom and Nicholas <3

53 looks good on her!

Me and Steve <3

Happy Birthday Mom!

Earlier that day, we visited my cousin, Ashley, before her prom. Wow, I felt old and...WOW, she looked Beautiful!
Nicholas Ashley and I...Nowand...

Ashley and Steve <3

Aunt Sharon Ashley and Dave <3

Ashley and I, Now...

And then...

Ashley, when I find somewhere to go, I'm going to need to borrow that dress! *your prom dress, that is...not sure if the baby one would fit me :)

Tonight, Jessica, Kelly and I went out and celebrated Jessica's 29th! When we are together, time goes by too fast and leaves us wishing it didn't have to end. The three of us don't get to hang out together as much as we do separately and nights like tonight make me wish we did! Kelly and Jessica were talking and catching up and I sat there thinking to myself how lucky I am, how lucky we are...to still be so close...to know we are stuck with each other till we are 3 old bitties *hip, old bitties I might add ;)
Jessica's the first to turn 29. We talked about turning 30. How we don't feel phased by it really...how it really is just a number. I said, if anything it makes me laugh at how funny life is...how you think you can have it all figured out. When I was 20 years old, I thought by this age, I'd be married, have a few kids and be "settled". What is settled anyway?! I certainly didn't get to where I am today by settling on anything and I realize now, 1 out of 3 ain't bad...and I will get there.

Knowing these 2 are always going to be there...that we're going to share all of life's most precious times together, makes it exciting to become old lil' ladies together, someday...
Kelly and Jessica, Tonight...

and @ 21

Me and Jessica, Tonight and...

@ 21


and Then...

It's nice to look back and see how much we change, how much life and love can be packed into a short amount of time...to remember all you've been through...
And see the same people love no matter how many years go by...
Jessica Me and Kelly, crab leggin' it up in OCMD about 10 years ago

and Tonight...dinner, "grape fits" and cinnamon bun ice cream sandwiches...
Happy Birthday, Jessica! <3

Kelly and I

Kelly and Jessica

Looking back on it all...
seeing pictures like this from half my life ago (I promise I turned 15 here, not 94!)ha!...
pictures from many...
many years ago...

And ones from tonight...
They answer a lot of questions...

"Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?"

Love like this makes it easy...
Change isn't a bad thing.
Time does make you bolder.

And the Landslide doesn't have to bring you down...


many tears...happy tears...after writing this post and looking through so many of my loves, changing but staying the same all at once...

*We have our dr's appt. later this morning to see when we should expect ovulation...will be updating soon.

Wishing everyone a sweet one! <3
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